Humor for my Navy and Marine friends

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@Devil Doc Senior Chief, could it be any other way?


A story…settle in.

Chief & the Ensign​


The Chief was bragging to the Ensign one day. You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name Someone, Anyone and I know them.




Tired of his boasting, the Ensign called his bluff, Okay, Chief, how about Tom Cruise.

Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends and I can prove it.

So they fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, Chief ! Great to see You! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!

Although impressed, the Ensign is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells the Chief that he thinks his knowing Cruise was just lucky. No, no, just name anyone else, the Chief says. President Bush, the Ensign quickly retorts.

Yep I know him, let's fly out to Washington.

So, off they go. At the White House, Bush spots them on the tour and motions them over, saying, Chief, what a surprise. I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and that Ensign come on in and let's catch up.

Well, the Ensign is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced.

After they leave the White House grounds, he expresses his doubts to the Chief, who again implores him to name anyone else.

The new Pope, the Ensign replies. Sure, I've known the Pope a long time. So, off they fly to Rome. They're assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when the Chief says, this will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards, so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope. He disappears into the crowd headed toward St. Peter's. Sure enough, half an hour later, the Chief emerges with the Pope on the balcony.

But by the time he returns, he finds that the Ensign has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.

Working his way to his side, the Chief asks the Ensign, What Happened to him.

The Ensign looks up and says, I was doing fine until you and The Pope came out on the balcony and the tourist next to me asked, Who's that on the balcony next to the Chief.
 
^^^^^

@Devil Doc Senior Chief, could it be any other way?


A story…settle in.

Chief & the Ensign​


The Chief was bragging to the Ensign one day. You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name Someone, Anyone and I know them.




Tired of his boasting, the Ensign called his bluff, Okay, Chief, how about Tom Cruise.

Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends and I can prove it.

So they fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, Chief ! Great to see You! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!

Although impressed, the Ensign is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells the Chief that he thinks his knowing Cruise was just lucky. No, no, just name anyone else, the Chief says. President Bush, the Ensign quickly retorts.

Yep I know him, let's fly out to Washington.

So, off they go. At the White House, Bush spots them on the tour and motions them over, saying, Chief, what a surprise. I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and that Ensign come on in and let's catch up.

Well, the Ensign is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced.

After they leave the White House grounds, he expresses his doubts to the Chief, who again implores him to name anyone else.

The new Pope, the Ensign replies. Sure, I've known the Pope a long time. So, off they fly to Rome. They're assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when the Chief says, this will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards, so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope. He disappears into the crowd headed toward St. Peter's. Sure enough, half an hour later, the Chief emerges with the Pope on the balcony.

But by the time he returns, he finds that the Ensign has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.

Working his way to his side, the Chief asks the Ensign, What Happened to him.

The Ensign looks up and says, I was doing fine until you and The Pope came out on the balcony and the tourist next to me asked, Who's that on the balcony next to the Chief.
A classic
 
@Capt MJ now that's funny.

I've known and met a lot of people in my time, mainly due to the places I've been stationed and currently employed. I've never met the pope or the president but I worked with a Tom Cruise at BUMED. He was an HMCM with a one-star anchor tattooed on his anterior forearm. He had been a reservist who found his way back on active duty later in his career. When asked about the tat, his story is that he thought he'd never make master chief so he got the SCPO anchor. That's my Tom Cruise story.

I probably brag a little about the people I know but yesterday was bragging to my 9 year old grandson about having the new iPhone Pro Max. He took it from me and said, "People are complaining about it being made with titanium. It's too flimsy. It breaks." Then he started doing bending motions with the phone like he wanted to prove the point.

I snatched it back from him and thought, dang he said titanium and then asked, "How many people do you know who've told you about their iPhone Pro Max?" I don't know anybody with one. I read about it.
 
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^^^^^

@Devil Doc Senior Chief, could it be any other way?


A story…settle in.

Chief & the Ensign​


The Chief was bragging to the Ensign one day. You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name Someone, Anyone and I know them.




Tired of his boasting, the Ensign called his bluff, Okay, Chief, how about Tom Cruise.

Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends and I can prove it.

So they fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, Chief ! Great to see You! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!

Although impressed, the Ensign is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells the Chief that he thinks his knowing Cruise was just lucky. No, no, just name anyone else, the Chief says. President Bush, the Ensign quickly retorts.

Yep I know him, let's fly out to Washington.

So, off they go. At the White House, Bush spots them on the tour and motions them over, saying, Chief, what a surprise. I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and that Ensign come on in and let's catch up.

Well, the Ensign is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced.

After they leave the White House grounds, he expresses his doubts to the Chief, who again implores him to name anyone else.

The new Pope, the Ensign replies. Sure, I've known the Pope a long time. So, off they fly to Rome. They're assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when the Chief says, this will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards, so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope. He disappears into the crowd headed toward St. Peter's. Sure enough, half an hour later, the Chief emerges with the Pope on the balcony.

But by the time he returns, he finds that the Ensign has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.

Working his way to his side, the Chief asks the Ensign, What Happened to him.

The Ensign looks up and says, I was doing fine until you and The Pope came out on the balcony and the tourist next to me asked, Who's that on the balcony next to the Chief.
You've just described my father who retired as a Chief with 43 years service.

Example (sea story time): I had grown up hearing stories of how he knew this one and that one and
basically every Naval Officer and Senior Enlisted who wore wings but then I went to USNA and saw
how vast the Navy was and how Naval Aviation was pretty carrier centric while my dad was a VR (Transport)
guy and land based so I figured he really didn't have the network that he thought he had.
Then came my graduation week and a couple of days before graduation, my teammates and I were invited to a
reception at the CO of the Naval Station's house - right across from Historic Worden Field. We had been off
doing some family stuff and dad and almost graduate came up the walkway about 20 minutes after the start
time and as we did so, I could see some classmates through the windows and they were all wearing whites while
I was wearing civvies. OOOOPS I said to myself, this is a problem and I told my dad that we should turn around
but he said no, don't worry and we went inside. When we went in, my dad noticed some pictures on the "I love
me wall" and stopped to look at them. A moment later, the Captain came in wearing whites and introduced himself.
My dad looked at him and motioned to the pictures and asked, "Hey is that you with Jim Kenney"? The CO Yes,
roommate in flight school and best man at my wedding, where do you know him from? My dad responded that
LCDR Kenney had been a pilot in his squadron and then XO and CO of the squadron and that they'd flown together
for years. The CO was noticeably moved and during the evening they spent probably over an hour reminiscing about
folks they'd known but first, my dad motioned to me and said "The Almost Ensign here is nervous about being in
civilian clothes" to which the CO said "No problem, I wish I was comfortable too".

PS: The Chief buried the leave on this one which was unlike him. When he passed, Capt Kenney Ret spoke at his
funeral and commented something like this "I won't even try to describe how much I thought of the Chief but the
military folks among you will understand this: Chief _____ pinned on one of my leaves when I was promoted to
Commander and one of my eagles when I put on Captain".
 
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You've just described my father who retired as a Chief with 43 years service.

Example (sea story time): I had grown up hearing stories of how he knew this one and that one and
basically every Naval Officer and Senior Enlisted who wore wings but then I went to USNA and saw
how vast the Navy was and how Naval Aviation was pretty carrier centric while my dad was a VR (Transport)
guy and land based so I figured he really didn't have the network that he thought he had.
Then came my graduation week and a couple of days before graduation, my teammates and I were invited to a
reception at the CO of the Naval Station's house - right across from Historic Worden Field. We had been off
doing some family stuff and dad and almost graduate came up the walkway about 20 minutes after the start
time and as we did so, I could see some classmates through the windows and they were all wearing whites while
I was wearing civvies. OOOOPS I said to myself, this is a problem and I told my dad that we should turn around
but he said no, don't worry and we went inside. When we went in, my dad noticed some pictures on the "I love
me wall" and stopped to look at them. A moment later, the Captain came in wearing whites and introduced himself.
My dad looked at him and motioned to the pictures and asked, "Hey is that you with Jim Kenney"? The CO Yes,
roommate in flight school and best man at my wedding, where do you know him from? My dad responded that
LCDR Kenney had been a pilot in his squadron and then XO and CO of the squadron and that they'd flown together
for years. The CO was noticeably moved and during the evening they spent probably over an hour reminiscing about
folks they'd known but first, my dad motioned to me and said "The Almost Ensign here is nervous about being in
civilian clothes" to which the CO said "No problem, I wish I was comfortable too".

PS: The Chief buried the leave on this one which was unlike him. When he passed, Capt Kenney Ret spoke at his
funeral and commented something like this "I won't even try to describe how much I thought of the Chief but the
military folks among you will understand this: Chief _____ pinned on one of my leaves when I was promoted to
Commander and one of my eagles when I put on Captain"
and spoke
Things like this are what binds us together as a family. Yes, we are in the military Humor thread, but humor and sweetness are intermingled. Ocular wetness syndrome kicked in on your story.

Let me share a similar story.

At my outgoing change of major command in Norfolk, several of our 1/C and 2/C sponsor mids, whom I had invited (DH was holding down the home front in Annapolis, as I traveled a lot in that job to 4 subordinate commands, DC and was out regularly on USNS ships), put in and had approved chits to attend. I had given my former fellow BattOs a heads up, noted my husband was driving them both ways, and this was good exposure to a military event. The COC ceremony went well, I noted my grinning mids in the family seating area, and off we went to the reception at one of the big old military quarters used an event venue. One of my mids had a distinctive last name, clearly seen on his name tag in summer whites. I urged the mids to introduce themselves to my now former staff and enjoy themselves. My RMCS (Senior Chief Radioman, from a storied rating merged some years ago with another enlisted rating) and one of the best chiefs I had ever worked with, saw the name tag. He asked the mid if X Last Name had been his dad. Now this mid’s dad had passed away from cancer after being medically retired as a limited duty officer (LDO) who had previously been a RMC; this was one of this mid’s drivers for attending USNA. Turns out the RMCS and mid dad had gone through boot camp and RM A School together, served and deployed together and made Chief at the same time - the best of shipmates. They repaired to a side room, where the RMCS shared stories about his dad that the mid never knew, learning about who he was as a naval officer and a leader, things his mom would not have known about. Both were in tears. And - it was the anniversary of his father’s death. Astonishing. Meant to be. RMCS gave him his first salute at his graduation from USNA, and put on a uniform as a retiree to attend his winging a few years later, then attended his change of command and retirement ceremony 21 years later - where I was pleased to see him, and we declared we had not changed one bit. That RMCS was a Chief’s Chief.
 
The CO Yes,
roommate in flight school and best man at my wedding, where do you know him from? My dad responded that
LCDR Kenney had been a pilot in his squadron and then XO and CO of the squadron and that they'd flown together
for years.
Is this CAPT Kenney, CO of NAPS in 1980-81 ? I think he was an A-7 guy. If so, he was a great individual !
 
Is this CAPT Kenney, CO of NAPS in 1980-81 ? I think he was an A-7 guy. If so, he was a great individual !
Different guy and I know that because I also got to meet THAT Capt. Kenney at USNA. The one
I was referring to was a reservist and working full time as an airline pilot.
 
Six degrees of separation from any Capt Kenney, anyone?
I think that the Capt Kenney at NAPS was the same guy that was Cdr Kenney, Battalion Officer when I was a 1/C mid.
In that era, Batt O's, Dants and Supes were quite a distance from the mids and other than getting into trouble/Ac Boards/etc, I did not know anyone who even spoke to them.
 
In that era, Batt O's, Dants and Supes were quite a distance from the mids and other than getting into trouble/Ac Boards/etc, I did not know anyone who even spoke to them.
Mid 80's - Batt O was much the same, until CAPT (later ADM) Konetzni was assigned as 2nd Batt officers. My Company was on 5-0, and CAPT K was very visible and interacted with the Midshipman often. (Rumor was it that he was assigned to improve the reputation of the Submarine Force with the Midshipman). In contrast, I don't even remember who his predecessor's were.
 
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