I-Day: Alone or with Family?

My d seems to expect us to take her. It hasn't crossed her mind that we wouldn't go with her. She has been in contact with other kids going to AFA and afew going to WP and some don't seem to be bringing parents - she was surprised at that. She has a very close friend at WP now and when she went her family went with her (CA to NY, that was $$$!). Her friend is home for Christmas and I asked her if she is glad her family went even though it was a 2 minute good bye - she said it was gabulous to hvae them with her - through the travel time and all - it wasn't just the brief good bye time, it was apparently much more. She said that knowing her folks were there and supporting her made it so much easier. I don't know for sure if hubby can go too - depends on work and if he can get that time off. I will certainly go with her though.
 
One more thing - I asked d friends mom if she is glad they went with her to WP. Answer: "Absolutely - if there is anyway to go, you must go." She went on to say that of course if you had to choose between parents weekend and this, then do parents weekend, but the better solution is to find a way to do both - "one way or another, make it happen."
 
I'm completely happy with my decision to go alone. I got to know my B&B family (Retired as Colonel right after I inprocessed) and still keep in touch. Great contact. I got good stories and fun before the next day, it was a good way to start adjusting. When I inprocessed, it really would have been worthless for family because of the pre-processing before you go beyond the point of no return so to speak. Basically, I'm happy with going alone, I felt like I was ready to conquer my path without any need to fall back.

Parent's weekend goodbye wasn't bad at all. My parents saw how very happy I was there, so that eased my mother's mind tremendously. She didn't want to leave, but knew I was A-OK.

It's also personal choice really, I have always felt their presence more in spirit and support -- they always let me be independent and sort my own stuff while always being behind me. So, it wasn't an issue not having them in person, some people need that and so having parents/family helps them.
 
This is not about parents. This is about what the candidate wants. If he/she wants to do the goodbyes at home and relax a few minutes on the afternoon of I-Day, go along with it.
 
It is a very personal decision for each candidate. I decided to go alone (from Chicago). I wanted a little time away from my parents, before BCT started. I felt that I could use a little more "transition time" between my family and BCT. I went to the B&B, and enjoyed it (I even got some valuable tips from a '62 grad and recon pilot).
 
I agree that it is about the kids. I talked more to d about it & she still said she wants us there. It was kind of a "huh? Of COURSE I want you there - why wouldn't I?" Interestingly, she didn't say it was for support - it was more to "share the moment" with her. Every family dynamic is different - in our family - it sounds like a family trip. Building memories for all of us, I guess! And, I am happy to do it!
 
Our son was not sure. We told him it was his call and he ultimately decided he wanted us there. We went and it was fine, but I actually think it might have been better if we weren't there. It was a little easier for us to be there but it may have made it a little harder for him. Take your cues from your cadet (as others have advised) and don't worry (at all!) if they choose to go it alone. I promise you they will be fine. (Yeah I know, you'll worry no matter what anyone says!)
 
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