Is there a "personality type" for military service?

I also think it depends on what service and what they will do the in the service assuming they have a choice. My son is an AF pilot. Its not like i have met a lot of them, but they seem very chill and are pretty much the only people in the military who have their own bar on base. The funny part is we usually only see the people coming out of the military but not when they went it. I would imagine when they come out they are different. To give you a better understanding my wife is Israeli and we have Israeli friends. When we were much younger, my wife's Israeli girl friends would say that the 20 year old guys in the US were very much immature than the the guys in Israel. The difference is that most of the guys in Israel were either in or finishing military service. They have a whole different attitude
 
Most psychologists would agree that there are five stable and heritable personality traits, and that people tend to fall somewhere along a spectrum for each trait:
- Conscientiousness: impulsive, disorganized vs. disciplined, careful and respectful of rules
- Agreeableness: suspicious, uncooperative vs. trusting, helpful
- Neuroticism: calm, confident vs. anxious, pessimistic
- Openness to Experience: preferring routine and practical pursuits to imaginative, spontaneous activities
- Extraversion: reserved, thoughtful vs. sociable, fun-loving

Of these, it's very likely that those accepted into the military will tend to score significantly lower than average on "Neuroticism" and significantly higher than average on "Conscientiousness." IOW, the opposite of the "artistic" temperament that tends to be much more anxious, pessimistic and emotional and much less respectful of rules.

I'd imagine there is no marked difference with the general population on the other three traits.
 
THParent said:
I am all five of those before I have my cup of Joe in the morning. Then I settle nicely into curmudgeon for the rest of the day.
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:lolatyou:
A perfect character trait for the gun smith in you. Note to self, don’t take a zip lock bag to a smith before his coffee.
 
Ok, so I'm going to throw out a little more detail in why my DH thinks my DS might not be military. He has his father's temper. I do not mean at all that he is violent or destructive. He just gets "hot" quickly sometimes. My DH was very much this way in college and has mellowed over the years. Now I really only see it when he gets REALLY hungry or moves furniture LOL. I just try to keep him fed and stay out of the way when he wants to rearrange things. It just comes out as anger and I want to get this done and I will snap at you if you get in my way. It's really become a non-issue but when we were young and in college, it was the only thing that ever really threatened our relationship. We eventually learned to communicate with each other and I could see the warning signs of it coming.

Anyway, back to DS, much like my DH, as he has matured, his ability to deal with his own short temper has gotten better and better. For example, he was very very competitive in elementary school. He got sent to the principal's office one time because he was so frustrated that he lost in PE that when he swung his arms out of frustration he hit another kid. It's the only time he ever got in trouble for hitting another kid so it seems like an outlier kind of situation. So, as he has gotten older, his temper now comes out sometimes when you tell him something he doesn't want to hear. Like when he's wrong about something or he does something wrong. For example, he was driving the other day and forgot to completely stop the car before he put it in park. Of course, the car jerked really big and almost gave us whiplash (hahaha) and I said, "R****!!!! (his name)". He just completely shut down, like he was mad at me, Wouldn't talk to me, etc. I think it's just his reaction to the embarrassment that he had made a mistake. I guess the concern is that he will always take criticism this way, and thus would not be great under someone yelling at him or critiquing him in the military. I personally think, from what I know, that the yelling and critiquing like you see a basic training is more of a short term thing in your military career. Overall he is a very good kid who follows rules and doesn't get in trouble. His teachers and other adults really like him, so I think he has an obedient nature and is very empathetic to others' needs. I think the concern is warranted and something he should go into with eyes open, but not a game-changer, if the military is his choice. I think there are probably many in the military that have a short fuse and have learned to harness it as needed and although I am biased as his mom, I think it's something he already is learning to handle.
 
thibaud said:
Most psychologists would agree that there are five stable and heritable personality traits, and that people tend to fall somewhere along a spectrum for each trait:
- Conscientiousness: impulsive, disorganized vs. disciplined, careful and respectful of rules
- Agreeableness: suspicious, uncooperative vs. trusting, helpful
- Neuroticism: calm, confident vs. anxious, pessimistic
- Openness to Experience: preferring routine and practical pursuits to imaginative, spontaneous activities
- Extraversion: reserved, thoughtful vs. sociable, fun-loving

Of these, it's very likely that those accepted into the military will tend to score significantly lower than average on "Neuroticism" and significantly higher than average on "Conscientiousness." IOW, the opposite of the "artistic" temperament that tends to be much more anxious, pessimistic and emotional and much less respectful of rules.

I'd imagine there is no marked difference with the general population on the other three traits.
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How in the world are calm and pessimistic at opposite ends of the spectrum for neuroticism. Most psychologist are a half step away from being a patient.
 
@milmomsomeday - I am way out of my lane and this will be my last post on your particular situation but trust me when I tell you the military (all branches) has dealt with all personality types and found a way to go on. Many young people coming in are hot heads and the induction process will "help them" see a new light. The chain of command is an essential aspect of the military and members learn right from the start what is and isn't acceptable conduct. You just don't see outbursts like you are describing in the service and if they ever did happen there would be severe consequences.

The fact your DS controls this character flaw with others outside your home is a good indication he will do so within the military.
 
milmomsomeday said:
Ok, so I'm going to throw out a little more detail in why my DH thinks my DS might not be military. He has his father's temper. I do not mean at all that he is violent or destructive. He just gets "hot" quickly sometimes. My DH was very much this way in college and has mellowed over the years. Now I really only see it when he gets REALLY hungry or moves furniture LOL. I just try to keep him fed and stay out of the way when he wants to rearrange things. It just comes out as anger and I want to get this done and I will snap at you if you get in my way. It's really become a non-issue but when we were young and in college, it was the only thing that ever really threatened our relationship. We eventually learned to communicate with each other and I could see the warning signs of it coming.

Anyway, back to DS, much like my DH, as he has matured, his ability to deal with his own short temper has gotten better and better. For example, he was very very competitive in elementary school. He got sent to the principal's office one time because he was so frustrated that he lost in PE that when he swung his arms out of frustration he hit another kid. It's the only time he ever got in trouble for hitting another kid so it seems like an outlier kind of situation. So, as he has gotten older, his temper now comes out sometimes when you tell him something he doesn't want to hear. Like when he's wrong about something or he does something wrong. For example, he was driving the other day and forgot to completely stop the car before he put it in park. Of course, the car jerked really big and almost gave us whiplash (hahaha) and I said, "R****!!!! (his name)". He just completely shut down, like he was mad at me, Wouldn't talk to me, etc. I think it's just his reaction to the embarrassment that he had made a mistake. I guess the concern is that he will always take criticism this way, and thus would not be great under someone yelling at him or critiquing him in the military. I personally think, from what I know, that the yelling and critiquing like you see a basic training is more of a short term thing in your military career. Overall he is a very good kid who follows rules and doesn't get in trouble. His teachers and other adults really like him, so I think he has an obedient nature and is very empathetic to others' needs. I think the concern is warranted and something he should go into with eyes open, but not a game-changer, if the military is his choice. I think there are probably many in the military that have a short fuse and have learned to harness it as needed and although I am biased as his mom, I think it's something he already is learning to handle.
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My DS is the same way. He also has a temper and is stubborn. But so am I. And so is his stepdad (I think that helped him as a Marine). We are not one of those perfect TV families who sit around the table and talk about our feelings and talk things through (very, very rarely!) (Quit with the attitude and go shovel the roof! - voila after roof is done, the temper is back in check) I think the military is absolutely the right place for kids like ours. Grit and a temper, I believe go, hand in hand. And as USMCGrunt just posted, the military knows how to deal with all types. If your kid wants the military, that is what matters most. Don't overthink it, he will be fine. He'll probably actually be great.
 
Humey said:
I also think it depends on what service and what they will do the in the service assuming they have a choice. My son is an AF pilot. Its not like i have met a lot of them, but they seem very chill and are pretty much the only people in the military who have their own bar on base. The funny part is we usually only see the people coming out of the military but not when they went it. I would imagine when they come out they are different. To give you a better understanding my wife is Israeli and we have Israeli friends. When we were much younger, my wife's Israeli girl friends would say that the 20 year old guys in the US were very much immature than the the guys in Israel. The difference is that most of the guys in Israel were either in or finishing military service. They have a whole different attitude
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I have two in the service. One is a USAFA grad and a pilot and is the most relaxed person I know. Nothing ever bothered him. Academics were not so hard for him, even at the academy. We know he worked hard but he never revealed any stress to us. He has an unbelievable ability to prioritize issues and handle stress.... Younger brother is the complete opposite... meticulous, diligent, obsessive(in a positive context). He stressed on every quiz, text, paper but it served him well at West Point. He did well there and he is now a grad. They are good friends but complete opposites. They both had goals of serving so I think that is the most important characteristic.
 
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