It's In The "Back Of My Mind"
- Thread starter Laguna
- Start date
- Joined
- Feb 2, 2010
- Messages
- 33
Emotions still running high, but stabilizing
Well, this thread has been rather quiet so I thought I would post some more thoughts on the matter...
After the initial swell of pride and celebration upon receiving the news of my son's appointment, I swear we just went thru the five stages of grief:
1) Denial - He is not really leaving so soon. He is really not going away, is he?
2) Anger - Why is he always running off with friends? He should be doing his homework, his chores, visiting with us... etc.
3) Bargaining - Please tell me he is going to come home when he can...
4) Depression - Oh Lord, he might not be able to come home often enough. He will forget about us?
5) Acceptance - It is as it was supposed to be. My son is becoming a man and is off to take on the world on his terms and in his own way, and we would not have it any other way. Good luck son, and know we will be here when you call.
This is not to say it has taken weeks to get through the cycle. For those who have recently received appointments please understand just how proud we are of all your accomplishments. However, as parents this is an abrupt end to our role in your daily lives and we will need time to adapt. Don't change anything you do, just be mindful... and a soft spoken and quiet assurance from you will go a long way
Argos
Proud Parent, USCGA Class of 2014
Well, this thread has been rather quiet so I thought I would post some more thoughts on the matter...
After the initial swell of pride and celebration upon receiving the news of my son's appointment, I swear we just went thru the five stages of grief:
1) Denial - He is not really leaving so soon. He is really not going away, is he?
2) Anger - Why is he always running off with friends? He should be doing his homework, his chores, visiting with us... etc.
3) Bargaining - Please tell me he is going to come home when he can...
4) Depression - Oh Lord, he might not be able to come home often enough. He will forget about us?
5) Acceptance - It is as it was supposed to be. My son is becoming a man and is off to take on the world on his terms and in his own way, and we would not have it any other way. Good luck son, and know we will be here when you call.
This is not to say it has taken weeks to get through the cycle. For those who have recently received appointments please understand just how proud we are of all your accomplishments. However, as parents this is an abrupt end to our role in your daily lives and we will need time to adapt. Don't change anything you do, just be mindful... and a soft spoken and quiet assurance from you will go a long way
Argos
Proud Parent, USCGA Class of 2014
- Joined
- Jul 24, 2009
- Messages
- 555
^^^
and you'll continue to have those stages during the next 4 years
and you'll continue to have those stages during the next 4 years
- Joined
- Feb 2, 2010
- Messages
- 33
Repeating Cycles
Great! So the cycle continues... Nevertheless, this is a good week. The soon-to-be-swab is finishing exams and will be graduating next week. The house is almost in order and there is a semblance of peace. He even spends time with his sister!!!
Now I guess we just wait for the next trigger to start the emotional rollercoaster again. The good news is that this ride is fun no matter how you slice it. Life is change, and we are living it!
Argos,
Proud Parent for a 2014 Swab-To-Be
Great! So the cycle continues... Nevertheless, this is a good week. The soon-to-be-swab is finishing exams and will be graduating next week. The house is almost in order and there is a semblance of peace. He even spends time with his sister!!!
Now I guess we just wait for the next trigger to start the emotional rollercoaster again. The good news is that this ride is fun no matter how you slice it. Life is change, and we are living it!
Argos,
Proud Parent for a 2014 Swab-To-Be
Helpful Advice
Although I graduated quite a few years ago, my Father still jokes about my R-Day.
Advice to new USCGA Parents:
- Say your good-byes before your swab reaches the archway. Before my Dad knew it, I was escorted away and standing at attention.
- If you were planning on giving your swab any personal items, see my first point above; do it early in the morning or the night before. My father was planning on giving me something at the last minute...it had to wait until the summer was over.
- Expect limited contact with your swab for the summer.
Hope this helps.
Although I graduated quite a few years ago, my Father still jokes about my R-Day.
Advice to new USCGA Parents:
- Say your good-byes before your swab reaches the archway. Before my Dad knew it, I was escorted away and standing at attention.
- If you were planning on giving your swab any personal items, see my first point above; do it early in the morning or the night before. My father was planning on giving me something at the last minute...it had to wait until the summer was over.
- Expect limited contact with your swab for the summer.
Hope this helps.
- Joined
- Feb 2, 2010
- Messages
- 33
Every tidbit is useful
I, for one, appreciate the input. Every little bit helps put things in perspective and helps us remember the things that could get lost in all the action. I did have something planned so maybe I will do it the day before.
Thanks again,
Argos
Proud Parent of a Class of 2014 Swab-to-be
I, for one, appreciate the input. Every little bit helps put things in perspective and helps us remember the things that could get lost in all the action. I did have something planned so maybe I will do it the day before.
Thanks again,
Argos
Proud Parent of a Class of 2014 Swab-to-be
Awards Night
First of all, this is too good a thread to get stale so here I go.
Last night was Senior Awards Night at my son's high school, remember this is a very comptetive high school, for instance my son's girlfriend was accepted to Brown, Columbia, Penn but in the end decided to go to Rice. This is fairly typical, one student from the class is going to MIT.
Anyway, the last portion of the awards programs was reserved for the students with appointments to the Service Academies. The Coast Guard guest speaker went first and gave a fine speech and award to my son wherein the entire Senior class gave him a standing "O", it was really emotional and a big payoff for all his hard work over the last few years.
The remaining three boys are all going to West Point, the WP speaker also gave a fine speech and all three of the WPers were also given a standing "O" by the senior class.
All and all it was a very good night.
First of all, this is too good a thread to get stale so here I go.
Last night was Senior Awards Night at my son's high school, remember this is a very comptetive high school, for instance my son's girlfriend was accepted to Brown, Columbia, Penn but in the end decided to go to Rice. This is fairly typical, one student from the class is going to MIT.
Anyway, the last portion of the awards programs was reserved for the students with appointments to the Service Academies. The Coast Guard guest speaker went first and gave a fine speech and award to my son wherein the entire Senior class gave him a standing "O", it was really emotional and a big payoff for all his hard work over the last few years.
The remaining three boys are all going to West Point, the WP speaker also gave a fine speech and all three of the WPers were also given a standing "O" by the senior class.
All and all it was a very good night.
- Joined
- Feb 2, 2010
- Messages
- 33
Thought for the day...
Well, this past weekend we had a plethora of family and friends in for graduation, graduation party and his Eagle (Scout) Court of Honor. It was a whirlwind. However, I found that the appointment to the Class of 2014 was the primary focus of discussion. My son is somewhat taken aback by all the folks here in town that simply wanted to thank him. Yes, all the other things were important, but they all somewhat paled in comparison to the appointment. In his head, he kept thinking that he hasn't really done anything (yet), so I try to tell him they are thanking him (and all those like him) for committing to serve. He seemed to be able to grasp that a little easier.
Nevertheless, the rollercoaster continues, and today we again swell with pride (maybe more so than usual). We are now less than 26 days away from R-Day.
In closing I just want to pass something on..., to all who received their appointments, and to all those who currently serve... "Thank you!"
Sincerely,
Argos
Parent, Soon-to-be-Swab Class of 2014
Well, this past weekend we had a plethora of family and friends in for graduation, graduation party and his Eagle (Scout) Court of Honor. It was a whirlwind. However, I found that the appointment to the Class of 2014 was the primary focus of discussion. My son is somewhat taken aback by all the folks here in town that simply wanted to thank him. Yes, all the other things were important, but they all somewhat paled in comparison to the appointment. In his head, he kept thinking that he hasn't really done anything (yet), so I try to tell him they are thanking him (and all those like him) for committing to serve. He seemed to be able to grasp that a little easier.
Nevertheless, the rollercoaster continues, and today we again swell with pride (maybe more so than usual). We are now less than 26 days away from R-Day.
In closing I just want to pass something on..., to all who received their appointments, and to all those who currently serve... "Thank you!"
Sincerely,
Argos
Parent, Soon-to-be-Swab Class of 2014
- Joined
- Apr 27, 2007
- Messages
- 56
I remember a CGA parent telling me that the first time her son was flying home in his 4th class year (Thanksgiving), when he got on the small commuter plan, the pilot made an announcement, saying he wanted to let everyone know that there was an academy cadet on board proudly serving his country and he wanted to welcome him on board and thank him for his service (they have to wear their uniform 4th class year when 100 miles or less from the academy). The entire plane clapped and the poor kid was not only freaked out by the excessive attention, but also that the small plane was almost rocking from all the excitement and clapping. One of the people on the plane offered to buy him a drink, to which he said, "Jeez, that's nice but I think the soda is free." 
Most parents will have many stories of kindness and appreciation shown to their cadets and their friends.
Most parents will have many stories of kindness and appreciation shown to their cadets and their friends.
Cadet Attention
Read the blog on the Academy website from the 4C Cadet about receiving attention, I think he is the male from Kansas. It's really good, he writes about the attention he received as a Cadet going home for Thanksgiving and how he was able reconcile it.
Read the blog on the Academy website from the 4C Cadet about receiving attention, I think he is the male from Kansas. It's really good, he writes about the attention he received as a Cadet going home for Thanksgiving and how he was able reconcile it.
Cadet Attention
I have vivid memories of a very shy six-year-old crawling under the table at Applebees when the waitstaff came over to sing "Happy Birthday" to him.
So, I was both proud and amazed over Thanksgiving break to see my 4/C accept, with humility and grace, a handshake and a "Thanks for your service" from a stranger on the street.
I have vivid memories of a very shy six-year-old crawling under the table at Applebees when the waitstaff came over to sing "Happy Birthday" to him.
So, I was both proud and amazed over Thanksgiving break to see my 4/C accept, with humility and grace, a handshake and a "Thanks for your service" from a stranger on the street.
- Joined
- Apr 19, 2009
- Messages
- 268
I have vivid memories of a very shy six-year-old crawling under the table at Applebees when the waitstaff came over to sing "Happy Birthday" to him.
So, I was both proud and amazed over Thanksgiving break to see my 4/C accept, with humility and grace, a handshake and a "Thanks for your service" from a stranger on the street.
I have seen several total strangers stop our cadet and say "thank you for your service." Our cadet always says "thank you" in response but looks humble, almost embarrassed. It was explained to me by our cadet that they wish people would not do that because they feel unworthy of the complement: "we haven't done anything."
I replied, "You may not have saved anyone's life yet but these people are thanking you for stepping up and offering to put the needs of others and your country first before your own needs--something that is increasing becoming rare in these modern times."
My daughter hasn't traveled once without someone thanking her for her service. It was difficult in the beginning, when she was in CGAS (had to travel in uniform) and she felt she hadn't done anything yet, but I think she resolved it in her mind that she was being thanked for future service. She is now humbly gracious when thanked. The other thing she has found is that she is now part of a "comradrie" of a sort. Veterans of any branch of service often buy her a soda or thank her for her service and share stories of their service (this has happened every time she has ridden Amtrak since being at the Academy - she has never been able to buy herself a drink or snack
). Some of the stories are not so great - friends lost, etc, but she listens and ends by thanking them for their service too. The other thing we have found out - formerly military people look out for each other (when she wasn't going to make her bus connection in NYC, a former marine bus employee got her switched to the train & got her safely from the bus terminal to the train station - a hairy situation for a single young lady in NYC at 2AM)This is all new to me - a mom from a non-military family, but it does make me feel better to know good people like this exist out there.
- Joined
- Feb 2, 2010
- Messages
- 33
Only Hours to Go
The roller coaster continues to ebb and flow, the pollen threatens to attack at every opportunity, and the emotional and time stress compound daily...
Well, we spent last week in the 'moist heat' of Louisiana, came home for a day to launder and repack, and will be starting the trek tomorrow. Perhaps, I wonder if we did not do this to just keep ourselves busy (or we are just glutons for punishment!) The slow drive (1000+miles) will be painful. However, this is the last few moments we will have with our son and we hope to make the best of it.
This bittersweet path is filled with pride and sadness and so I think it should be taken in small bites. The transition is already so sudden, I would hate to make it seem any more condensed. We will make several stops along the way, but at the end of the day (or the week as it may be) we expect to find ourselves in New London.
To all who will be making a similar journey, God Bless, and be safe. Hope to meet many of you on R-Day.
Argos
Proud Parent
2014 Swab
Bravo Company
The roller coaster continues to ebb and flow, the pollen threatens to attack at every opportunity, and the emotional and time stress compound daily...
Well, we spent last week in the 'moist heat' of Louisiana, came home for a day to launder and repack, and will be starting the trek tomorrow. Perhaps, I wonder if we did not do this to just keep ourselves busy (or we are just glutons for punishment!) The slow drive (1000+miles) will be painful. However, this is the last few moments we will have with our son and we hope to make the best of it.
This bittersweet path is filled with pride and sadness and so I think it should be taken in small bites. The transition is already so sudden, I would hate to make it seem any more condensed. We will make several stops along the way, but at the end of the day (or the week as it may be) we expect to find ourselves in New London.
To all who will be making a similar journey, God Bless, and be safe. Hope to meet many of you on R-Day.
Argos
Proud Parent
2014 Swab
Bravo Company
Only hours to go...
Well said Argos. R Day will come all too soon, but as I see the excitement building in my son I know he is ready ( not sure about his mom and me!). Drive safe and enjoy those undisturbed hours on the road. See you in New London!
Proud parent
Swab class of 2014
Hotel company
Well said Argos. R Day will come all too soon, but as I see the excitement building in my son I know he is ready ( not sure about his mom and me!). Drive safe and enjoy those undisturbed hours on the road. See you in New London!
Proud parent
Swab class of 2014
Hotel company
- Joined
- Mar 19, 2009
- Messages
- 447
Okay, I'm going into cheerleader mode. To my son:
"Rah-Rah-you can do it."
"I'm so proud of you, and I'll see you sooner than you think."
"I'm going to start shopping for my All Academy Ball gown, so don't worry about me."
I'm going for the no tears approach when saying goodbye. The waterworks will start promptly upon him turning to join his company. I have a whole list of personal goals to keep me busy this summer, so I can just get over the hump of despair.
So as you can read, today I have a grip on myself. Tomorrow I may be on here saying, "What was I thinking cheerleader mode. My baby is going into the military 1,500 miles away
." It's definitly ebbing and flowing here too, but I guess these "times" are our Semper Gumby pre-lims. GO BEARS...rahhh!
"Rah-Rah-you can do it."
"I'm so proud of you, and I'll see you sooner than you think."
"I'm going to start shopping for my All Academy Ball gown, so don't worry about me."
I'm going for the no tears approach when saying goodbye. The waterworks will start promptly upon him turning to join his company. I have a whole list of personal goals to keep me busy this summer, so I can just get over the hump of despair.
So as you can read, today I have a grip on myself. Tomorrow I may be on here saying, "What was I thinking cheerleader mode. My baby is going into the military 1,500 miles away
." It's definitly ebbing and flowing here too, but I guess these "times" are our Semper Gumby pre-lims. GO BEARS...rahhh!