Well, recognition has passed. It's quite honestly the biggest flurry of emotions I've ever had in my life. They were the toughest three days I've ever faced in my life, without a doubt, and receiving those prop and wings while walking down the hall made me feel as if I had just walked over the moon. Without spoiling anything, Friday night was the first time that I've cried because of an experience at the Academy. It occurred after Friday's night's events where we were shown a movie at the end of it all and it was the credit scene of Lone Survivor. Full blown tears in front of everyone.
I think it's paramount to understand why I was crying though and I'm about to delve into that. Throughout the course of that day, I was inspired by my upperclassmen and pushed to my limits. I did not quit, I kept my calm, and most importantly never gave up mentally. When the upperclassmen would do ranger claps with me, I told them I wanted to do something harder; I became very unpopular extremely fast to my classmates. I wrote "Beat me" on my fists and man did I get a lot of EI for that...It was worth it though. If I was going to make it to the other end, I wanted to know that I gave it my all and that those props and wings weren't put on me just because of getting by. Anyways, I saw a list of gentlemen in the movie that lost their lives while clips and videos were being shown of their lives before death with their families and loved ones and it related to the speech that my character officer shared with us in the middle of Friday afternoon, instantly bringing me to tears. Tears of joy, not of sadness. I was grateful that men and women like that exist.
He talked about General Ralph Pennell, who replied to a letter written by a U.S. Congressman, Clinton P. Anderson, who questioned the assignment of a certain individual to an infantry squadron instead of a position where his “fine education” could be better used. General Pennell stated that " [he] know of no place red-blooded men of intelligence and initiative are more needed than in the rifle or weapons squad." and that "Every commander is anxious to get hold of men with imagination, intelligence, initiative, and drive." The primary focus of this letter was to show that no man is too great for dirty work. No officer is too high of rank to clean a toilet, no enlisted airman is too high of rank to prepare meals for a squadron. Every family supports the military until their own family is in the military, then they love the military. What I got from this is best summarized as "Service Before Self". The sacrifice of one's own success and personal desires to benefit the mission. It passed through my mind as each serviceman that died during Operation Red Wings held that belief strongly. Each and every one of them had the opportunity to choose a life much more delightful, and with the integrity and perseverance that they contained, they almost had guaranteed success if they so chose. But, they didn't. They chose to be apart of a mission that few want to volunteer for and lost their families and lives because of it. That is why I cried. Because men as beautiful and as hardworking as they are were lost. They died and their families would feel the grief for years to follow.
What did I gain from this?
Well, I cried for just about an hour straight and was talked to by PEERS, cadets who volunteer to emotionally support others. The conversation dove into the anger I felt towards some for not giving it their all. I was angry that when I said I wanted to do something harder, I was yelled at by my classmates and told to shut up. To just "get by and survive". To most, recognition was a countdown. A timer until life is easy. For me, it was a time to show I deserved to be there even though over the last 7 months I continually complained and contemplated my presence there. For me, this meant that I now had a reason to be there. I did not trust some individuals next to me with my lives and saw the complete disrespect they caused themselves by giving up, by quitting, and not giving it their all. If I was in a situation that occurred in Operation Red Wings, I questioned whether or not I could trust them with my life. Personally, I don't believe everyone should get by recognition, and luckily enough, some didn't. I know that I would want to be by the side of some of these individuals during a time of war and I was explicitly asked this question during recognition of who I trusted most to go into battle with. It makes me extremely sad that I am not able to say that I trust every person in my squadron. But it makes me extremely joyous to know the fact that people like my character officer, squadron commander, and the individuals that have died in operations like operation red wings exist. There is no cause nobler than military service.
Finally,
I know that I want my job to benefit others. I know that I want to see the effects of my work and the impact it has on others. I know that I don't want anyone by my side to die unless absolutely necessary. With that being said, the most important thing that I just said comes from "I know that I don't want anyone by my side to die" and for me, the only way to stop that is to by preventing future conflict with other nations. Over the course of these next few months, I will be contemplating whether or not I can do this best from within the military or outside the military. I will forever maintain respect for the vision of the academy if I ever leave and If I leave it will only be because I think I can save more lives by pursuing politics and policy as a civilian or being apart of the fight. I have no doubt that if I joined the academy right after 9/11 I would be here until my death, but right now it is questionable on how I could best benefit this beautiful country and honor those that have given their lives in the name of freedom and protecting our loved ones. I look forward to updating you all again in 3 months.
CHAPPIE
Anon. C4C 2022
I think it's paramount to understand why I was crying though and I'm about to delve into that. Throughout the course of that day, I was inspired by my upperclassmen and pushed to my limits. I did not quit, I kept my calm, and most importantly never gave up mentally. When the upperclassmen would do ranger claps with me, I told them I wanted to do something harder; I became very unpopular extremely fast to my classmates. I wrote "Beat me" on my fists and man did I get a lot of EI for that...It was worth it though. If I was going to make it to the other end, I wanted to know that I gave it my all and that those props and wings weren't put on me just because of getting by. Anyways, I saw a list of gentlemen in the movie that lost their lives while clips and videos were being shown of their lives before death with their families and loved ones and it related to the speech that my character officer shared with us in the middle of Friday afternoon, instantly bringing me to tears. Tears of joy, not of sadness. I was grateful that men and women like that exist.
He talked about General Ralph Pennell, who replied to a letter written by a U.S. Congressman, Clinton P. Anderson, who questioned the assignment of a certain individual to an infantry squadron instead of a position where his “fine education” could be better used. General Pennell stated that " [he] know of no place red-blooded men of intelligence and initiative are more needed than in the rifle or weapons squad." and that "Every commander is anxious to get hold of men with imagination, intelligence, initiative, and drive." The primary focus of this letter was to show that no man is too great for dirty work. No officer is too high of rank to clean a toilet, no enlisted airman is too high of rank to prepare meals for a squadron. Every family supports the military until their own family is in the military, then they love the military. What I got from this is best summarized as "Service Before Self". The sacrifice of one's own success and personal desires to benefit the mission. It passed through my mind as each serviceman that died during Operation Red Wings held that belief strongly. Each and every one of them had the opportunity to choose a life much more delightful, and with the integrity and perseverance that they contained, they almost had guaranteed success if they so chose. But, they didn't. They chose to be apart of a mission that few want to volunteer for and lost their families and lives because of it. That is why I cried. Because men as beautiful and as hardworking as they are were lost. They died and their families would feel the grief for years to follow.
What did I gain from this?
Well, I cried for just about an hour straight and was talked to by PEERS, cadets who volunteer to emotionally support others. The conversation dove into the anger I felt towards some for not giving it their all. I was angry that when I said I wanted to do something harder, I was yelled at by my classmates and told to shut up. To just "get by and survive". To most, recognition was a countdown. A timer until life is easy. For me, it was a time to show I deserved to be there even though over the last 7 months I continually complained and contemplated my presence there. For me, this meant that I now had a reason to be there. I did not trust some individuals next to me with my lives and saw the complete disrespect they caused themselves by giving up, by quitting, and not giving it their all. If I was in a situation that occurred in Operation Red Wings, I questioned whether or not I could trust them with my life. Personally, I don't believe everyone should get by recognition, and luckily enough, some didn't. I know that I would want to be by the side of some of these individuals during a time of war and I was explicitly asked this question during recognition of who I trusted most to go into battle with. It makes me extremely sad that I am not able to say that I trust every person in my squadron. But it makes me extremely joyous to know the fact that people like my character officer, squadron commander, and the individuals that have died in operations like operation red wings exist. There is no cause nobler than military service.
Finally,
I know that I want my job to benefit others. I know that I want to see the effects of my work and the impact it has on others. I know that I don't want anyone by my side to die unless absolutely necessary. With that being said, the most important thing that I just said comes from "I know that I don't want anyone by my side to die" and for me, the only way to stop that is to by preventing future conflict with other nations. Over the course of these next few months, I will be contemplating whether or not I can do this best from within the military or outside the military. I will forever maintain respect for the vision of the academy if I ever leave and If I leave it will only be because I think I can save more lives by pursuing politics and policy as a civilian or being apart of the fight. I have no doubt that if I joined the academy right after 9/11 I would be here until my death, but right now it is questionable on how I could best benefit this beautiful country and honor those that have given their lives in the name of freedom and protecting our loved ones. I look forward to updating you all again in 3 months.
CHAPPIE
Anon. C4C 2022
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