Looking back from USNA

Just thought I'd throw out a success story for the OP.

My older son met his girlfriend the last semester of his senior year of college, they graduated together. He PCS'd to Ft. Rucker for flight school, she stayed in Seattle. After 1 1/2 years of flight school he was stationed in Hawaii, after a while she thought of moving to Hawaii but he found out he was going to do a 9 month rotation to Korea. His girlfriend then got a contract job in Germany for 17 months. Son left Hawaii and went to Ft. Bragg, not long after she returned from Germany and after a month or so in Seattle she moved over to Ft. Bragg. It was the first time in over 4 years that they lived in the same zip code.

They got married this past June.

Long distance is tough, but it can be done, of course their relationship started when they were 22 years old.
 
@Capt MJ quote made me laugh. We always think that the grass is greener on the other side and God likes to teach us lessons that we don't forget during every phase of life not only when we're young. A good friend's son who was also a college re-applicant to USNA this year is going through the same thing as you @bn09 . He is really struggling with his decision and there was no girlfriend involved but USNA was his lifelong dream. He was at a SMC last year and loved it but now cannot go back for the same reasons as you. He gave up his NROTC scholarship and his superior officers were not happy that he left. Sometimes we make decisions that we regret initially but that is part of the growing and learning process. You are young and there will be many paths along the way and you will make good decisions and bad decisions. Sometimes you just have to do the best with the decision that you made and it will turn out fine and actually be part of the path that you were supposed to take. My DD is in the same place that you were this year as a freshman and was considering re-applying to USNA. She has spoken with her friend in detail who is a plebe in your class and he has changed her mind about reapplying and now she wants to stay where she is. All things happen for a reason.

DD, like you had a lifelong dream of USNA but the dreams of children are not always the realities of life. Experiencing the dream sometimes has a way of showing you that you that you had a glorified idea of what you thought it would be. You were very blessed and got to find out the reality, where many others will always wish they could have been in your shoes and will never know. As you mature and experience adult life, you may find that your childhood dreams and goals change but you are young and this is the time that you have to determine your path. If you do complete the Naval Academy, it will be a unique accomplishment that many can only dream of and you will always have a golden ticket on your resume. Just the fact that you received an appointment and accepted it makes you part of an elite group of people as it is more difficult to get than gaining acceptance to any other school in the country. It is just a short period of your life story. I do hope that some of the parents and kids that are on the fence reach out and PM you, especially the college re-applicants. Whatever caused you to tell your story also has meaning to those who stumble across this thread and your experience can help them choose their own path. If they are in a place that they love, it may not be worth the risk to change. You have invaluable insight to offer that they cannot get anywhere else.

Good luck and I hope that wherever the path leads you, you are successful and have no regrets!
 
Just another perspective. DS spent last year on a NROTC scholarship and is now a member of the Class 2021. USNA was his 'dream.' He and his high school girlfriend have survived - so far.

He is happy at USNA. Does it suck? Yes. Does he miss the freedom of regular college? Of course. Does he regret or second guess his decision to re-apply? Absolutely not.

Another kid from his NROTC unit is at USNA. Their unit was very supportive. The CO, a USNA grad, wrote very strong letters of recommendation for them. I think his letters made a difference. DS' new best friend in his company is a re-applicant. Both of these mids are happy too; no regrets.

It's different for everyone. As an old USMA grad, I'm not surprised that Plebes are unhappy and second guessing their decisions. What surprises me is that so many of them are happy (relatively speaking) and thriving.
 
I think this time of year sucks for a lot of Plebes. They see their friends from back home in frats and hear about all their freedom, parties, girls/guys, etc. At one point wearing a uniform 24/7 seemed cool, now the reality of wearing one takes work. They are now in the daily grind of it. School, pro knowledge, Plebe duties, watch, boards, etc all suck. What 18-21 year old wants to spend a Friday night or Saturday making boards for their company? None. But we all did it and came out the other side. Do you think an a Seaman or a Lance Corporal sweeping the hallways and cleaning the toilets of their buildings is happy about it either? A lot of candidates and appointees build up USNA to this place of amazement and perfection. All in all it's an amazing place, but it isn't perfect. Right now Plebes are settling in to the real USNA that has its bumps and bruises, but can be an amazing place if you take advantage of the opportunities it has. The bonds that make USNA so amazing are just now forming. They only get better each day.

The girlfriend thing I can't help you with. I didn't go to USNA attached. I do remember lots of fellow classmates did and yes most don't last. But I do have a few classmates still happily married for 20+ years. What I can tell you is that if it is meant to be, it will last. Dating someone at USNA isn't easy. Being married in the fleet isn't easy. If she can't understand the constraints that come with your life and future life then it won't last. There will be 6-12 month long deployments. The list of things you will miss while deployed is extensive. I saw my best friend last week... he has only seen the birth of 1 of his 3 kids, has missed half their birthdays, never seen a first step. He hates it and can't wait to retire shortly. His plan is to be a stay home Dad.

Hang in there. We all had the Plebe blues and made it through.
 
I wouldn't try to persuade people to stay in NROTC if I was giving someone advice. There are actually a lot of good things that come out of here. Sure it is not perfect, just as any ROTC program. Most of my insecurities lie in the fact that none of my credits transferred, I left my amazing relationship, and I left the opportunities to have absolute freedom. I am not at all upset about leaving parties and 24/7 access to women. If I really want that stuff, I can get it here also... It is hard to compare though.

One thing that helps me is remembering that having that "golden ticket" on my resume is basically life's cheat code. I think they call it the 4 for 40? That was my main reason in leaving... But I feel I took my only 4 years of real college that I would have had for granted. I didn't appreciate it at the time as much as I sometimes want it back now. I'm looking forward to what USNA can do for me as a man. It takes a special kind of dedicated person to come here, but it takes an even better type of person to come here and have a good attitude about it. I look up to the TADs like that who have graduated and are so happy about their choice to come here.

I find that I only want to be back when I see my friends doing something fun at my old school or when I wake up at 5 am for morning workouts or after a hard night of homework. When I am eating lunch with ex CNOs, an ex SECNAV, and an ex SECDEF, I think it's an amazing opportunity even if it sounds nice to be relaxing in a dorm room.

Weeks ago I opened a NROTC scholarship application. I saw the part where it said "Recommendations by counselers" and "Previous attendance to Academies" and instantly knew I would be a failure if I left to go back. Assuming I would get another scholarship, which I probably wouldn't.

My attitude is slowly changing because of that. Wishing you had a comfortable life at a normal college is a complacent thought. Friday nights I could have been playing xbox, or watching a movie with friends. Instead, I am being lectured by a General, or learning practical life lessons that will set me apart. I may be discontent at times - good, time to grow and become better. I am honored to be here. I am interested in how having gone to USNA has benefited everyone's life? How do employers view it? What has it done for you that ROTC can't?
 
bn09 said:
instantly knew I would be a failure if I left to go back.
Click to expand...

Not sure that is a fair representation of people who have done just that. Graduating from an Academy is not the "Golden Ticket" to success in the military. What you do after you leave any commissioning source is what will set you apart, your follow up training will not care where your commission came from and once you report to your first unit the Academy ring on your finger won't mean a lot after initial introductions, you will be an Ensign like every other Ensign, trying to learn as much as you can as fast as you can. If you ever have the idea that you are somehow ahead of the game because you attended an academy, that ROTC grad will step right over you, that works the same in vice versa.

When I was in the CG (Back in the dark ages) 95% or more of the officers were from the Academy, the percentage is still high today. I was a Mustang, and I can say from experience that I stepped over a few of those New London Boys along the way. That said, the best commanding officer I ever had was from the Academy, I would have waded ashore every morning to get him coffee.....yes that was a CG joke.
 
Jcleppe said:
bn09 said:
instantly knew I would be a failure if I left to go back.
Click to expand...

Not sure that is a fair representation of people who have done just that. Graduating from an Academy is not the "Golden Ticket" to success in the military. What you do after you leave any commissioning source is what will set you apart, your follow up training will not care where your commission came from and once you report to your first unit the Academy ring on your finger won't mean a lot after initial introductions, you will be an Ensign like every other Ensign, trying to learn as much as you can as fast as you can. If you ever have the idea that you are somehow ahead of the game because you attended an academy, that ROTC grad will step right over you, that works the same in vice versa.

When I was in the CG (Back in the dark ages) 95% or more of the officers were from the Academy, the percentage is still high today. I was a Mustang, and I can say from experience that I stepped over a few of those New London Boys along the way. That said, the best commanding officer I ever had was from the Academy, I would have waded ashore every morning to get him coffee.....yes that was a CG joke.
Click to expand...

That isn't at all what I meant... I personally would feel like a failure. And at no point would I ever think that any one type of officer is better than the other. Not one place will help you in the military more than the other. What I mean is how USNA will develop me in areas ROTC couldn't. And how the Academy is viewed by employers. That is why I asked that question...
 
bn09 said:
I wouldn't try to persuade people to stay in NROTC if I was giving someone advice. There are actually a lot of good things that come out of here. Sure it is not perfect, just as any ROTC program. Most of my insecurities lie in the fact that none of my credits transferred, I left my amazing relationship, and I left the opportunities to have absolute freedom. I am not at all upset about leaving parties and 24/7 access to women. If I really want that stuff, I can get it here also... It is hard to compare though.

One thing that helps me is remembering that having that "golden ticket" on my resume is basically life's cheat code. I think they call it the 4 for 40? That was my main reason in leaving... But I feel I took my only 4 years of real college that I would have had for granted. I didn't appreciate it at the time as much as I sometimes want it back now. I'm looking forward to what USNA can do for me as a man. It takes a special kind of dedicated person to come here, but it takes an even better type of person to come here and have a good attitude about it. I look up to the TADs like that who have graduated and are so happy about their choice to come here.

I find that I only want to be back when I see my friends doing something fun at my old school or when I wake up at 5 am for morning workouts or after a hard night of homework. When I am eating lunch with ex CNOs, an ex SECNAV, and an ex SECDEF, I think it's an amazing opportunity even if it sounds nice to be relaxing in a dorm room.

Weeks ago I opened a NROTC scholarship application. I saw the part where it said "Recommendations by counselers" and "Previous attendance to Academies" and instantly knew I would be a failure if I left to go back. Assuming I would get another scholarship, which I probably wouldn't.

My attitude is slowly changing because of that. Wishing you had a comfortable life at a normal college is a complacent thought. Friday nights I could have been playing xbox, or watching a movie with friends. Instead, I am being lectured by a General, or learning practical life lessons that will set me apart. I may be discontent at times - good, time to grow and become better. I am honored to be here. I am interested in how having gone to USNA has benefited everyone's life? How do employers view it? What has it done for you that ROTC can't?
Click to expand...
So glad you are doing well, you have made the right decision so keep working hard. USNA has the strongest alumni connection. Don't listen to others, USNA is the best!
 
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