Major, forced to show up for morning PT, spontaneously combusts

THParent

THParent

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https://www.duffelblog.com/2019/03/major-forced-to-go-to-morning-pt-spontaneously-combusts/

Fort Bragg, N.C. — An Army major met a disastrous end when he was forced to attend morning PT formation for the first time in seven years, sources confirmed today.

Maj. Eric Hindenburg burst into a ball of fire the moment the battalion commander called the unit to attention.

“We couldn’t tell if it was the sun coming up or one of the joes lighting more fireworks or what. I’ve seen some strange things before, but I’ve never actually seen a major at PT formation,” Sgt. Mark Tunguska told reporters.

Famous for delegating nearly all responsibility, sitting in eight hours worth of meetings a day, and a near universal acceptance of the dad bod, majors have long been an acceptable and simultaneously disdained reality the Army has sustained to keep the wheels of the machine coasting forward.

“Major Hindenburg was … well, come to think of it, he was sort of like all the other majors I’ve ever met. Uh, he was a guy. I guess that’s the only thing I remember about him,” continued Tunguska.

Fellow majors reacted with shock and remorse. Maj. John Morrison, the battalion operations officer, buckled and wept at the news of Hindenberg’s demise.

“Oh, the humanity!” he cried.

The battalion’s majors scheduled a vigil to take place tonight at the local Waffle House.

Hindenburg is survived by ten cats, an air stream trailer, and a fridge full of micro brews in his garage.
 
What gets me about that MCPON is that if he has 29 years in, that makes him about 47. He doesn't look a day over 30 in that photo.
Maybe all that sitting around having people fetch you things, keeps you young?
 
I made Chief aboard ship and as the Doc, about the only change was my uniform and where I ate and slept. When I transferred to a clinic with numerous Corpsmen and civilians “working for me,” I found out I really worked for them. Leave, education and training, family and debt issues, staffing, budget, supervising civilians with civil service stuff, and oh by the way, I still had a bunch of patients to see every day.

I then transferred back to Camp Lejeune with 100 plus Corpsmen with the same responsibilities minus the civilians but add arranging a lift to the field, LTI on gear that’s always missing the stuff you need most, and as an IDC, was often on the next op out of town.

So, I agree. That fella was living the good life and apparently had not learned who really worked for whom.
 
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