(Possibly the wrong section of SAF but as close as we could get.) My family has become aware of the existence of the Massachusetts Maritime Academy. After exhaustive research they have concluded (1) it provides a thorough maritime education (2) it is picturesquely located on a Cape Cod peninsula and (3) instate tuition is less than fifteen hundred bucks. They have therefore asked me to raise the following questions: a) Is there an age limit for students? b) Would the required letters of recommendation be acceptable if their authors, quite decrepit when they wrote the letters, are now, alas, in a post-moribund condition? c) Could an inobtrusive boat with a cuddy cabin be tied up alongside a portion of the extensive unused bulkhead? It would of course be available for use by the MMI during business hours. d) If the answer to c) is affirmative, could a 160 ounce canine accompany the vessel as an ever-alert guard and boon companion? A corollary benefit would be that it would be a primary source of my board, skillful as it is at catching and dispatching nuisances such as frogs, snakes, moles and voles. The family believes this could be an excellent solution for my declining years, a real win-winner for all concerned. In addition to generating incremental tuition revenue for MMI, the family is willing to guarantee the campus would see a reduction in the aforementioned pests. It would be much cheaper than putting me in adult daycare or a nursing home. At the same time they could get rid of my damn boat and my damn Jack Russell.