You are receiving solid advice here. Please don’t take on that level of debt. There are so many excellent alternatives with AFROTC at another school. VMI is excellent, of course, but in these circumstances, a path leading to a massive financial burden.
Prove yourself by getting a commission, a great officer specialty area, a set of orders, and subsequently, a career path to be proud of - THAT is the goal. If you want that corps of cadets experience, do look into other SMCs. That means get on the phone with a prepared list of questions and advocate for yourself. It is also perfectly fine to go to a state school with AFROTC. There will be chances to excel and earn awards, to be totally into it and be close with other cadets, to kill the physical fitness training by pushing yourself. That is a fine and challenging path to a commission, because THAT IS THE GOAL, right? Seeing yourself in your shiny new 2LT uniform on your commissioning day, college degree done, with all all the joy and excitement of heading off to your next set of orders, and no uneasy sense of a big college debt - you will have plenty of ammo to knock the socks off of family nay-sayers.
Focus on the one goal - an AF commission - and drive toward that in a way that doesn’t saddle you with a horrible burden which will impact you for years. With your O-1 salary, you should start socking away a good percentage of your monthly pay into a Roth IRA and your government TSP (Thrift Savings Plan, works like a 401(k)). Starting that in your early 20’s jumpstarts the compounding value for the pile of dollars you will need to live on from your mid-60’s for another 30 years or so. Servicing a debt that hampers your ability to invest in your future - you do not get those years of growth in your retirement accounts back, and the difference can be huge later on.
The one goal. Drive toward that. Be smart about the money. It is not too late to consider other paths.
Scan the info at this link to understand the big difference it can make to start saving in your twenties vs ten years later.
You are probably paying off your student loans and retirement is 40 years away. Shouldn't you focus on eliminating debt and, maybe, saving for a home?
Lastly, when it’s time to get married down the road and merge finances, your prospective partner will also marry your debt. A big debt load can and will impact a credit rating.