What's the word limit?
My two cents, you should always have an introduction, body, and conclusion in an easy. Introduction and conclusion should be 10% each of the word limit. The problems I see with many nomination essays are too much space is devoted to the introduction and not answering the question.
Example
Question: Gives reasons why you want to attend a service academy in 250 words or less.
Intro #1: I want to attend a service academy to [reason #1] and [reason #2] 13 words. 237 words remaining
Intro #2: President John F. Kennedy once said "Ask what you can do your country, not what your country can do for you." I can serve our country in many different ways, but I believe I can best serve the country by attending a service academy. 44 words. 206 words remaining.
With intro #2, I am wondering how the writer is going to serve our country by attending a service academy.