Nominations essay

Beter

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how do you guys think this will do in the ”why do you want to go to a service academy” question on the nomination forms

I see The USMA as an unparalleled opportunity at education and service, the reputation of West Point is enough by itself to entice hard workers and high achievers who desire to become leaders. With legendary USMA graduates such as Dwight D. Eisenhower and Ulysses S. Grant, there is no doubt that West Point is a major contributor in shaping true leaders and patriots. I'd like to seize this opportunity and use it to develop and mature, all while knowing that I’m part of something bigger than myself. I want to graduate with a bachelors degree and be commissioned as an officer knowing that I have been taught the skills required to lead, and West Point is a perfect way to do so.
 
With all due respect, that’s a boilerplate statement. It could have come from anyone and says nothing about you as an individual — your motivations, aspirations, goals. Your statement needs to be personal and make you stand out as a candidate.
 
how do you guys think this will do in the ”why do you want to go to a service academy” question on the nomination forms

I see The USMA as an unparalleled opportunity at education and service, the reputation of West Point is enough by itself to entice hard workers and high achievers who desire to become leaders. With legendary USMA graduates such as Dwight D. Eisenhower and Ulysses S. Grant, there is no doubt that West Point is a major contributor in shaping true leaders and patriots. I'd like to seize this opportunity and use it to develop and mature, all while knowing that I’m part of something bigger than myself. I want to graduate with a bachelors degree and be commissioned as an officer knowing that I have been taught the skills required to lead, and West Point is a perfect way to do so.

The essays on both nominations and SA/ROTC applications need to give the selection panels a view of who you are as an individual. As such, please weigh the responses you receive from individuals that you do not know in an anonymous internet forum very carefully. We do not know you, we don't know what would make you a stellar cadet, etc.

That said, your statement, IMHO, could have been written by any of the applicants to the USMA and is not likely to set you apart from the other individuals seeking a nomination.
 
stealing from JFK's quote sort of- Ask not what USMA can do for you ask- or write about what can you do for USMA.
 
That essay could be written by anyone to apply to anyone. Why do YOU want to go to USMA? What can YOU contribute to the college and the Army? BTW they already know they're a terrific institution that folks wish to attend. You don't need to tell them that. That's why they end up turning folks away.
 
I used personal experiences I had with the Academy and filled my essay with things that would only be recognizable to me and generally to other people
 
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