Hey guys, I have a first draft of an essay and I would like to see what you all think of it. Please feel free to be brutally honest:
Discuss your reasons for wanting to become a Marine Officer. Specifically comment on leadership positions you've held, the challenges you have faced and the lessons you have learned. (Limit 2500 characters)
For as long as I can remember, I have always looked up to the military as my calling in life. There was something I saw about the way a military member carried him or herself whenever they were around at a family function or school activity, which is best described as commanding. As a child, I always wanted to defend my country and be part of something bigger than myself. Even now, that is my focus in life, as I have no desire to make the most money out of my peers or have the most fun. To me, the most selfless people are the most admirable, and I want to be one of those people. My fulfillment will come from when I can say that I helped people in my life and tested my limits in doing so. I find it most fulfilling to use my talents to work with and lead others. I feel like I would do all of these things best through leading Marines as a Marine officer.
After school and sports, service is perhaps an activity that takes more time than any other activity, and perhaps one of the most time-consuming of my activities is St. Michael’s Church Retreat Team. This Retreat Team organizes Confirmation retreats for high school students and it’s led by the youth minister in partnership with a group of teens who were already confirmed in the Church. We make the schedule, decide who gives the witness talks, and rehearse skits. I have another responsibility, which is music. I plan out which songs to play, organize the band to play those songs, and take the role of guitar player in that band. I take great joy in being able to use my talents not only lead my peers in something but also in bettering the spiritual experience of the Confirmation students. However, Retreat Team was no easy job, especially when our youth minister last year was a rather difficult leader to deal with. Our group often times put up with her strong will, requiring us to use our best tact in order to convince her that her ideas were perhaps misguided. However, I find that having difficult leaders allows you to learn what not to do as a leader, which is a valuable lesson in itself. I soon discovered …With all of this in mind, Retreat Team has taught me much about leadership, from delegating work to meticulous planning to the exercise of tact and even how to guide others.
With these experiences under my belt, I hope to become the effective officer that the Marine Corps wants and needs. Furthermore, I hope that I will have the privilege of using my talents and skills to serve others in the Marine Corps.
Discuss your reasons for wanting to become a Marine Officer. Specifically comment on leadership positions you've held, the challenges you have faced and the lessons you have learned. (Limit 2500 characters)
For as long as I can remember, I have always looked up to the military as my calling in life. There was something I saw about the way a military member carried him or herself whenever they were around at a family function or school activity, which is best described as commanding. As a child, I always wanted to defend my country and be part of something bigger than myself. Even now, that is my focus in life, as I have no desire to make the most money out of my peers or have the most fun. To me, the most selfless people are the most admirable, and I want to be one of those people. My fulfillment will come from when I can say that I helped people in my life and tested my limits in doing so. I find it most fulfilling to use my talents to work with and lead others. I feel like I would do all of these things best through leading Marines as a Marine officer.
After school and sports, service is perhaps an activity that takes more time than any other activity, and perhaps one of the most time-consuming of my activities is St. Michael’s Church Retreat Team. This Retreat Team organizes Confirmation retreats for high school students and it’s led by the youth minister in partnership with a group of teens who were already confirmed in the Church. We make the schedule, decide who gives the witness talks, and rehearse skits. I have another responsibility, which is music. I plan out which songs to play, organize the band to play those songs, and take the role of guitar player in that band. I take great joy in being able to use my talents not only lead my peers in something but also in bettering the spiritual experience of the Confirmation students. However, Retreat Team was no easy job, especially when our youth minister last year was a rather difficult leader to deal with. Our group often times put up with her strong will, requiring us to use our best tact in order to convince her that her ideas were perhaps misguided. However, I find that having difficult leaders allows you to learn what not to do as a leader, which is a valuable lesson in itself. I soon discovered …With all of this in mind, Retreat Team has taught me much about leadership, from delegating work to meticulous planning to the exercise of tact and even how to guide others.
With these experiences under my belt, I hope to become the effective officer that the Marine Corps wants and needs. Furthermore, I hope that I will have the privilege of using my talents and skills to serve others in the Marine Corps.
