Hello; I am a cadet in the Class of 2023. Your concerns are valid and I had a bunch of folks tell me the same things when I told them I wanted to come to the Academy. Some of those things are rooted in half-truths, but I certainly don't consider myself a robot and have no regrets in my chosen path.
From what I was told by a BN CDR from the 82nd when he visited one of my classes, there are two groups of people at West Point and from what he described also in the Army: the "cool to care" crowd and the "cool not to care" crowd. If you get to West Point and you are eager to take every opportunity it presents to you, invest time and energy into your studies, your military development, and your "subordinates," you will get a lot out of it and it makes everyday irritants seem minute. If you get to West Point and decide that you are just going to survive, neglect even an ounce of the Kool-Aid, and think that you are above its developmental systems, you will become cynical and have regrets. I truly believe many of those individuals would've been better off in ROTC in the best-of-both-worlds environment, however it is of note that you cannot just decide to suddenly start caring when it becomes important to care.
I will give you a comparison of two prior-service individuals of whom I am both friendly-acquaintance and friends with--both are tabbed and scrolled and deployed with the 75th. One used his expertise to better those around him, joined military clubs and crushed academics, and ended up high in Corps leadership because of his successes. The other became cynical upon arrival, decided he was too good for a lot of West Point's programming, and has fallen off quite a bit with disciplinary issues regarding alcohol. It is what you make of it; you have to have the right mindset to succeed.
One of my friends is doing Army ROTC at a highly-regarded university. She would've done great at West Point, but did not get a medical waiver from the Academy. She is disappointed by what ROTC is, and said to me that she believes it is a copout in comparison to the training opportunities we receive. I have no perspective on this and am just sharing her thoughts with you.
The immersion in pseudo-military life at West Point has its downsides, no, I cannot go to a frat party every weekend. But I also don't think that has much appeal after the first or second time, anyways. But that immersion allows me to talk to hundreds of officers whose paths I am following, talk to NCOs about what it takes to be a great platoon leader, and hear from Medal of Honor recipients, division CSMs and CDRs, etc. I have had one-on-one conversations with SMA Grinston, GEN Milley, and Sec. Esper, have strolled through the Pentagon and run through the tunnels in NYC with the Corps surrounding me, and have had mentors and instructors in every branch to learn from. It is insanely cool to be a cadet and have these opportunities. I realize that a lot sitting around a fire with my high school friends who have chosen other college routes. The challenges are worth it, and I am stronger, faster, smarter, and a better person than I was a few years ago.
If you have targeted questions about being prior-enlisted I am more than happy to link you up with some of my friends; just shoot me a PM.