Parents

Good stuff Doc. I always thought there was a pretty good balance of kids and parents asking some tough questions here. They get great advice especially when it concerns DODMERB! I do recall one Mom on here about a year ago who said that she'd contacted her dd's BGO about something or another & people hammered her pretty good. Don't think I've seen her around since.

Parents are really big scaredy-pants
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I swear this is the most perfect sentiment ever. You kids freak us out. I even like to wear a blind fold around sometimes. You young folks might wanna think about keeping parents around for a while longer than just the application process cause when you're a Plebe & they are removing the very marrow out of your little Plebe bodies with a dull shovel, parents have access to food boxes, postage & a label with your name & box # on it. :biggrin:
 
Wolfdad, I'm curious about the reason for your question. Are you getting inaccurate or inadequate information from parents? I would think you'd be grateful (as I am -- and my son's a Mid) for all you can learn here.

If parents weren't here, you might not get the diversity of opinion you'll find in this forum, and answers would probably be slower in coming (BGOs are generally pretty busy w/ lives + USNA responsibilities, and midshipman rarely spend their little free time here).

So: how come?
 
I think wolfdad has made a valid observation based simply on the fact that the forum is composed mainly of parents. The reasons they are valid are many folded.

First, information from a parent to another parent and ultimately a candidate goes through many opportunities to be distorted and changed. ALL the information is on either the admissions website or in the online catalog. It is relatively obvious which of the parents have read these items and which haven’t. For one who hasn’t and relying solely on information gathered here to commence advising his candidate WILL prove disastrous. Allow the candidate to go to the official sources to gain the proper information.

As those few who took the time to understand wolfdad’s comment noted, he stated that parents should be a support group, not a guide. So true. And, yes, the difference can be a very fine line. But you parents know more than anyone where the line is and should stay on the support side of it. Allow them to totally make their own decision. If you get too involved, as RetNavyHm points out, it will come back and haunt you. The ‘ranting’ BGO gives good advice. One of the primary tasks of the Admissions Dept to the BGO is to ascertain undue parental influence. They highly recommend the interview be conducted in the candidate’s home with the parents available and recommend all types of ways to help ascertain this influence. And we will find it. And the effect of the interview will go well beyond the few whole person points gleaned from an outstanding interview. The Board does read them and the results can be critical. I have only this year returned to two households where previously I had to deal with a hovering mom. One was the younger brother of a candidate who did not become scholastically qualified at USNA and was forced to attend his backup, USAFA. The other was the repeat of a candidate who, last year, was unsuccessful. Both moms were smart. They had realized the errors of their previous ways. Neither was in the house during this year’s interview.

Profmom2 seemed overly concerned about my relation with my son. Ten years after graduation I remain his number one go-to source. Do I tell him what to do. Never. Do I lay out both all the good and bad points of both sides of the event at hand. Absolutely. Does he make his own well informed decisions. Sure. However, I will confess that, for reasons I do not wish to get into here, I attempted to dissuade him from attending USNA. And I will confess that when he was initially selecting a platform out of flight school, I told him that if it were me, I would not want to go through life knowing that I had passed up the last chance to fly arguably the greatest fighter of all time. He was leaning toward the new shiny one and I changed his mind. Additionally, he did not want to fly an aircraft with a backseat. He has since thanked me profusely many many times and has also become a proponent of someone in the backseat, so long as they don’t claim to be pilots.
 
Profmom2 seemed overly concerned about my relation with my son.
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Hardly, I was just pointing out that all of us at some point in our relationship have provided advice or a listening ear to our children, or even sought the advice of our aging parents. That is what a healthy family relationship will do.

Many parents are on this sight, that is true. Many of or reasons for being hear it to help the new parents through this bumpy ride. Many of the information is on the USNA sight, however much is hard to find and some is also out of date.

I admit the sometimes neither the parents, the BGO's or the applicants get it right but at least we are here to provide some direction.

The best advice to new applicants and their parents, do not let your mom or dad do any of this for you. Take ownership and run with it. If you have a question, make sure you are the one calling your admissions officer. If you have questions about your transcript or letters of rec. ask your school guidance counselor. Bottom line is this has to be your application. As for DODMERB, my son was 17 when applying and he was able to schedule all appointments on his own - he did not need to be 18. MOC applications should also be handled entirely by the applicant and mom and dad do not need to accompany you to the interview. Most 17 and 18 year olds are capable of diving themselves.
 
My son is a junior in high school. He has talked about going to USNA since he was 12. I came across this forum accidentally when I was searching for the answer to a question he had for us (his parents). There was so much information that is already in the materials on the USNA site, (and yes, he read through the info and so did we) but then there are those questions that are not directly answered. DODMERB questions, especially. And all the conflicting information from folks who upon learning that he wants to go to USNA offer all kinds of conflicting information. It has been great to get real answers from people who have already been through the process, from parents who have already guided their student and from the students themselves.

Funny thing is, yesterday morning, I was feeling like I was looking at this site a bit too often - I look at it at work (my boss is fine with it) but we don't have internet access at home. I was feeling as though I was becoming too excited about the whole process and maybe giving my son more information than he was wanting each night. But then I saw this thread and read through the comments.

My son is 16 years old. He is being approached from some Ivy League schools for football and by his football coach and his baseball coach is wanting a list of at least 25 schools he is interested in. He is looking at baseball showcase info, being invited to football camps at colleges, etc. He is being told by teachers that he has so many choices. It is a lot for him to sort through. One thing has remained - his desire to attend USNA. Now he wants to talk to graduates who are out there working in the Navy - what are their jobs, what are the opportunities, where do they serve, what are their days like, etc.

Someone on here said that their child was busy doing what they do at this point--same here. He is at football once a week at 5:45 in the morning, school starts at 7:30 until 2:45. Then he has baseball everyday. Saturday mornings there is baseball training. After that he is either volunteering with a kids group or working at his part time job, or doing trig homework, chores at home, etc. He works with a drama team, plays an instrument in a band, etc. (All the stuff he should be enjoying at this point). And, we don't have internet at home.

Thankfully, the process has begun. He has talked with several graduates (on his own), set appointments with them (on his own). Submitted his NASS application (on his own), keeps his own calendar. However, I am thankful that he still includes us in what is going on each night at the dinner table and my husband and I are happy to tell him something new we read on this forum. And, we regularly remind him that this is on him. It has to be, don't you think? He is the one who has to walk the walk. Not us. I am humbled that there are 12,000 wonderful young men and women who are willing to walk that walk each year - the ones who put themselves out there to possibly become Navy officers. The ones who are willing to protect this nation.
 
This is incorrect/bad advice Profmom2. :thumbdown: My son was 17 and guess who had to be there and sign for him for his med exam at the exam office, his guardian/dad/me. My son plays varsity sports at school (like most applicants), which means practices keep him there till well past closing hours of even 9 to 5 military offices which he needed to set up for DODMERB remedial exam. Cell phones are not allowed to be used from the H.S. This means that playing phone tag with the military offices from home even for working parents is tough.

He made the first couple phone contacts and ran into dead-ends. It took his mom a month of calls and phone tag with umpteen military med offices in our area to find out who did the test. Most had never heard of it, and had a vague idea of who should do it or who to call next. When she finally contacted the right place, they strongly questioned her on why he needed this or why they should they do it, -read downright RUDE! When he had the appointment guess who had to go with him at O'darkthirty because it was 100 miles away, he was under 18 and security would not allow him on the grounds without an adult. I'm all for independence but navigating the military bureaucracy on your own at 17 for something that means your career should not and could not be left 100% to a high school kid. Sign, phone and drive, if nothing else that what parents are for. :thumb:

Profmom2 said:
As for DODMERB, my son was 17 when applying and he was able to schedule all appointments on his own - he did not need to be 18. MOC applications should also be handled entirely by the applicant and mom and dad do not need to accompany you to the interview. Most 17 and 18 year olds are capable of diving themselves.
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I need to disagree as well about the MOC interviews. We live outside Atlanta, and as a matter of course, our kids do not drive into the city. Traffic is horrific and they are not experienced with it. Finding interview sites is tricky...so a parent accompanied the kiddo...most everyone at senate interviews had parents along.
 
Applying to the academies is the job of the candidate - who will usually need the support of the guidance counselor and his family to successfully complete all the steps, or, in the case of our prior enlisted candidates, the help and support of their companies or sqad...remember every candidate's experience will be different. Some apply to one and have no DoDMERB remedials, others apply to three or four and have remedials and DQ's to deal with. Some live in the same town as their MOCs and others live 100 or more miles away. There is no right or wrong - as long as the push to apply is coming from the candidate. This is a difficult process and I am glad there are parents and candidates standing by on this forum to help and understand. You guys are great! :thumb:
 
acronyms

Is there anywhere on line where one might get an overall list of acronyms used by USNA?
Thanks
Teddy
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I guess each of us have had a different experience. Taking time out of their busy schedule should be a priority when applying to college. When my son had the state Cross Country Meet the same time that he had his interview with Senator Chambliss, he called himself to reschedule, he was told by the aide that it was time to take care of himself and learn to deal with conflict and make a decision that was right for him! A lesson that my son took to heart. That if he could not take five minutes out of his schedule, weigh the issues and take care of business himself how was he ever going to learn to lead. Consequently as Captain of his XC team he turned down his interview with the Senator and lead his XC team to a 3rd place finish at the State Championships. A week later the senator called him to do an interview.

As for driving, each family has there own rules but I guess IMO you can drive them to the venue but you certainly do not and should not accompany them into the facility where the interview is being held. We have had our son driving all over Atlanta since he was 16. Lots of experience with very heavy traffic and on the interstate. The last thing I wanted to do was turn him loose with a car in an unfamiliar city and no city driving experience. When he gets his car in Annapolis next fall he will be ready for heavy traffic and Washington DC freeway traffic. Again each family has there own rules, this has worked well for us.

The beauty of this forum is we can disagree and state our opinions. All opinions will help each decide how to handle situations that work for their family.
 
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Yes, this is a great place, and the information is so very valuable. Thank you to everyone who takes the time to post, refute, object, opine, and kvetch!
 
To add my two cents here: For my D's congressional interview we decided I would not accompany her inside the building although I did have to drive her-- she did not have her license at the time though she was 17 at the time (she does have it now). What was interesting however was that afterwards she told me she was one of very few that was there WITHOUT a parent. The waiting area was set up for parents with their kids and she said she would have felt very comfortable if I had been with her and actually felt a bit weird that I wasn't since so many had parents with them :rolleyes:. In the end it turned out just fine.

She also happens to be one of those who has a completely uninvolved BGO. One who came over, interviewed her, submitted a review and that was that. My D has tried to initiate more contact but there is no interest.

We are all having different experiences, getting different feedback, having different challenges and have kids with different personalities. I don't think helping them at different points along this road (if they need it ) means they don't belong at the academy or will not make fine officers.
 
Personally, the only thing that my Mother has done for me at all is to find me a ride to my BGO interview. He asked that she come along and she doesn't drive so we had to find a ride. All he wanted to do was make sure that she knew what I was "getting myself into." She had no idea and I'm fairly certain she doesn't care. It was like pulling teeth to even get her to come when he asked her to. If anything, my Mom has been more of a hindrance than a help to me throughout the entire application process.
Ever since I filled out the Preliminary Application I have had a stressful time of it, doing everything by myself with no help. It's also been a little disturbing to me that I know someone who's parents filled out her entire USMA application (including writing the daughter's essay). Now that I have received my appointment I am glad that I did everything by myself. It makes me feel more independent and capable of going through rough times alone.
 
I know someone who's parents filled out her entire USMA application (including writing the daughter's essay).
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yes this is seriously disturbing.

Now that I have received my appointment I am glad that I did everything by myself. It makes me feel more independent and capable of going through rough times alone.
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Good for you. Congratulations on your appointment!!
 
USNA2K12, you did it the correct way. It will pay off in the long run, many times.

Congratulations. Please stay in touch next year.
 
I just know that whatever it is that you want to do, it's not 100% necessary to do everything the parents' way or let them put their two cents in all the time. Ultimately, the one going to the Academy is the one who has to deal with the consequences of all actions taken, so if there is too much parental influence it may not necessarily be a good thing. Parents' views and actions shouldn't always have an impact on the way the student does what needs to be done. Yes, they are older and have more experience, but they don't always know everything (although most insist they are infallible). It's up to the mid/cadet to know the difference between the correct and incorrect way of doing something.

My friend basically rubbed it in my face that she didn't have to do anything to get into USMA because her mother did it all for her. Cold truth: When she gets to West Point, there isn't going to be a Mommy there to fall back on when things get tough.
 
USNA2K12, I was the EXACT same way. You said it all. I'll be seeing you July 2nd!!
 
USNA2K12 said:

When she gets to West Point, there isn't going to be a Mommy there to fall back on when things get tough.
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Yes, this is true. The Army is your family once you say good bye on R-Day. The resources are there for each New Cadet to succeed.

But parents can make a good sounding board. It helps to have someone who is not at West Point, who is ready to listen.

Congratulations to you, USNA2K12! Best wishes for your success at West Point!
 
Actually, I'm going to the Naval Academy. It is my friend who is going to West Point, but she doesn't understand that her mother may have crippled her by doing everything for her. No one really even thinks she'll be able to make it at West Point just by her personality and most feel the only reason why she got in is because the Swim coach at West Point wanted her. Yes, we're all rooting for her to make it, but in most of the people that know her's eyes... it's going to be a shock for her when she gets there.

I know it will be nice to have someone to listen to your experiences who isn't at the Academy... I'm kind of hoping I get great Sponsors.
 
Oops, I know that was an insult! Sorry! You will be in the Navy Family. Many congratulations on your appointment to Annapolis!

The same idea applies. The USNA has the resources ready for their mids and will do all they can to help them succeed as long as they do their part - which may include asking for help now and then.

I have heard many positive comments about the Annapolis sponsors.

Best wishes to you!
 
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