Plan "A"s Stress

O

Overwhelmed

5-Year Member
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Jan 3, 2018
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354
Ever since my DS was accepted to two incredible options our home has been nothing but stress. The joy of being accepted to these institutions has been overshadowed by the reality that he will have to pass on one. I realize that he is in a much better situation than many but I just never imagined it would be like this.
I thought it was going to be Plan A, Plan B, and Plan C like most other candidates.

My son's classmate went through almost the same exact thing last year.
He still keeps second guessing himself.

Are any other parents experiencing anything similar to this?
 
Actually, my DS was in this situation but for very short time. He got accepted to all three academies and when time came to decide (which he was kinda formulating in parallel while getting the nominations news). This forum and advise from the veterans came very handy.... which were basically, 2 points: 1) Think about the life at the academy for 4 years and life beyond the academies. 2) visiting the academies and *feeling* IT.
https://www.serviceacademyforums.com/index.php?forums/life-after-the-academy.54/

Based on these 2 points, we created a grid and went through it over the dinner. He decided West Point. Journey starts soon ... :band:
 
I realize it isnt easy decision, but the choice should be made made on the following criteria. What do you want to do for the next five years after you graduate Academy X. You are going to be an officer in the miltary and hopefully you will get your first or second choice in terms of jobs. Which branch of the military will allow you to do that. Some of course are easy. I want to be in a submarine, okay Navy. I want to be in armor, ok Army. I want to be in infantry, ok Army. Then it gets harder. I want to be a pilot. So its either Navy or Air Force except of course Marines and Army also fly. You want to fly fixed wing. Okay, AF has many more than all three other combined. I want to do Cyber, all three do Cyber but in a different way. Attending the an academy isnt the goal line. It is actually the starting point. So figure out where you want to be 2 years after you graduate and work yourself backwards to figure out which academy will get you there.
 
@Monarchs'19 and @Humey Thank you for your advice.

West Point was his "IT" as well but he was medically DQed.
Thankfully, he has other "its" to choose from.

May 1st will be here soon enough.
 
parentalunit2 said:
Humey - I believe OP's son is deciding between an SA and an Ivy.
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@Overwhelmed , based on your previous posts, Princeton AROTC and USNA are two amazing options. @Monarchs'19 posted a great link to an older thread which is key in deciding for the future. Focus on career, then work backwards. If I were your son I would head to USNA ;), the SA experience is second to none! He can always try for Ivies for grad school later on, which is something you can't do with the SA's.
 
parentalunit2 said:
Humey - I believe OP's son is deciding between an SA and an Ivy.
Click to expand...
This I didnt read but it does make the decision harder in one sense but it is still Navy vs Army. NOw if it was Princeton NROTC vs USNA, that would be a hard decision. Personally I would suggest to my kid to go to Princeton. My son's childhood friend goes to Princeton. He likes it but it is a hard school
 
@parentalunit2 That's exactly why he is agonizing over this. Half the people tell him he would be crazy not to attend USNA the other half said he would be nuts not to go to Princeton.
We went to a banquet yesterday and a stranger chased him around telling him he has to go to USNA.

Meanwhile, his own BGO told him to go to Princeton.

The best solution is to do what @USNAismyplace suggests.
 
On a light note ... I don't want to get added into this group of half/half. :) No matter where he goes, he will go further and do well to make his family proud (I am sure he has done it so far by reaching to this point). Therefore, this decision MUST be all his own and nobody's else; not even parents - other than guidance. Next 4 years (at any place) are going to be hard, so nobody should make it harder by influencing his decision. IMHO.
 
My advice to my sons when in the same predicament is to make their decision and never look back. You could spend your life looking back at the what ifs but it is time better spent looking forward to the possibilities. I listen during the decision making process but am a neutral party.
 
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As a parent , and a BGO - this is DS choice, not the parents. There is nothing worse than Plebe summer if you don't want to be there.
If DS's goal is to serve --the decision should be based on which branch of the service he wants to serve in.
 
Humey said:
I want to be a pilot. So its either Navy or Air Force except of course Marines and Army also fly.
Click to expand...

You can also fly in the Coast Guard (rotary and fixed wing) and would have the ability to reapply for flight school if not selected as first billet.
 
We are in the same boat. DS received an AFROTC Type 7 scholarship in December, which he was planning on turning into a 3-year Type 2 for private school. Then we got the call from his MOC on 3/7 about USAFA. I think we prepared him so well for not getting in that he didn't really think through the logistics of if he did get in. That first night my DH didn't sleep at all. We are going for a visit in April, and I think we have laid to rest many of DS's worries (mainly the distance & the rigor). It is definitely stressful, though, as every day his decision seems to change. No matter where he decides to go he is planning on commissioning with USAF and he will be a 3rd generation Airman, so we are all super proud. Especially Grandpa, who enlisted in the 60s and didn't get to graduate from high school. I just wish his health allowed him to fly out to visit with us!
 
claynjen1 said:
We are in the same boat. DS received an AFROTC Type 7 scholarship in December, which he was planning on turning into a 3-year Type 2 for private school. Then we got the call from his MOC on 3/7 about USAFA. I think we prepared him so well for not getting in that he didn't really think through the logistics of if he did get in. That first night my DH didn't sleep at all. We are going for a visit in April, and I think we have laid to rest many of DS's worries (mainly the distance & the rigor). It is definitely stressful, though, as every day his decision seems to change. No matter where he decides to go he is planning on commissioning with USAF and he will be a 3rd generation Airman, so we are all super proud. Especially Grandpa, who enlisted in the 60s and didn't get to graduate from high school. I just wish his health allowed him to fly out to visit with us!
Click to expand...

My DS is exactly the same. On Sunday he was 98% sure of the USAFA and on Monday he was 98% sure to take AFROTC Type 7 to our state school. Both are great choices. To make the decision harder is he also received a scholarship to go to China for 6 weeks this summer. He is going to the AFROTC office today to ask questions about the two options and we are visiting April 26th USAFA. We on the East Coast so there is the distance and he is worrying himself over the level of rigorous activity (not so much the academics). I know he will thrive in either location and in the end the he will commission and we are proud.
 
Similar boat here with DS. He's doing another visit to both in April. I appreciate the dialogue and will share it with him.
 
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