I am trying to use the Chaplains, but am not hearing back. I got a vague response which was nice but not super informative. I asked if they could make sure he got my letter and haven't heard back. I scanned it and emailed it to them. I also sent it overnight USPS and Fedex ground. I just hate not knowing if the detailers are going to check the mail and get it to them. I have heard stories of plebe's not getting there mail for weeks. I just someone to make sure he gets it before he signs his future away.
Plebe summer numbers?
- Thread starter nodiva
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Navy92
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He will get it, especially in this circumstance. They will be looking for it. Prayers, patience, and positive attitude is key in my opinion. Stay strong...
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I'm also reasonably sure that Tango company for 2020 hasn't even been formed yet. Or at least it hadn't as of the end of last week. So even if a Plebe has asked to drop, there is no out processing company in place yet. They will be watched, counseled, etc., but the actually drop process won't start until they are transferred to Tango. At least that's my understanding.
Detailers check the mail everyday. Any delay in it getting to him will be due to the USPS, not the Academy. At the same time, if your son does decide to leave, he will have a chance to call home before the final decision is made. Also, while I understand you are only trying to help, I'd be careful about contacting the Academy too much. Your son is an adult and in the military. He doesn't need/want his mom calling to make sure he gets his mail. He will get it, and I'm sure he'll get a chance to contact you before making any final decision.
Blondie1
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write short notes everyday! Just write mundane stuff--weather, color of the sunrise etc--this might be wrong, but I've never told my DS-rising 2c-that "I'm proud of you for going USNA" for some reason I always felt that just put too much pressure on him. We did tell him during plebe summer to stick it out through the summer and if it didn't feel like a good fit we'd be open to discuss PPW. Just remind your plebe in daily notes--it's only 6 weeks--you can do anything for 6 weeks! Let him know you support him on HIS decision --no matter what it is! I think they really need to know that. Everyone makes such a fuss about them getting in ---that is a tremendous weight for an 18 yo to carry!! Knowing that those that love them will not judge, but support whatever direction they go is important. Seems for some PS is an emotional roller coaster and no one knows which will take to it and which will be looking for the nearest exit. There have been those that just wanted out PS and found the most desperate means to do so---and then upon reflection they often regret leaving--often wanting to go back!
Just be supportive, encouraging, and above all JUST listen when he calls. As a mom when one of my kids calls with a problem I'm always trying to figure out how to fix the problem--wrong--I'm struggling to realize they DONT want me to fix it--they just need me to LISTEN. when he calls and wants to separate it's going to be breaking your heart--bury that--and let him vent--sometimes we all just need to vent--and what we really need is someone who doesn't judge or even offers advice--but just really listens.
USNA is not for everyone--and its ok.
Hope your plebe finds his way--whatever that might be. Wish you well. Will be thinking of you and your plebe.
1. I just dealt with a woman who had sent something FedEx to USNA in hopes her Plebe would get it. It is clear that UPS/FedEx non USPS delivery services have their own drop off/pick up area and it is a complex process for the Plebes to get UPS/FedEx non USPS items delivered during Plebe Summer. If you have concerns about the USPS, it might be beneficial to ask the Chaplains if you can send it to them for delivery to your Plebe.
2. Another lady I know did contact the Chaplain services about an urgent family matter. The situation was unique but the Chaplains within 24 hours had found the right people to put a process in place to resolve it and communicated the process back to the Mom.
3. I can pretty much guess where you read about mail sometimes not getting delivered for 2 plus weeks. I have no doubt some things slip through the cracks, but the people that write that should be summarily shot for all the needless grief/angst they cause people (remember - the people that write that b*llsh*t are also selling a book on how to cope). 99.5% of the folks at USNA legitimately care about the welfare of the Plebes and are doing their best to help them.
4. I am very sorry regarding the current position you are involved. Legally, your son is an adult and a member of the US Navy, but I would be no less distraught as a parent if my child was in the same position plus the inability to communicate. You have to put a little faith in the system and believe that it is in place for the best interest of your son and the US Navy (easy to write, more difficult to live)
Best of luck to you and your son.
HopefulDad3210
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For the record, FedEx and UPS are a nightmare. I sent packages, one through each service using the address on the USNA website, which they have only in the last day or so indicated is for USPS only! Even so, when I contacted the companies and UPS and FedEx to give them the addresses for those services that were in the handbook, it was still not so simple. It was like they had never heard of the Academy. My advice? Stick to USPS for the summer.
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21412 is a mid-only zip for the USPS office there, those PO boxes. Not a delivery zip for FEDEX or UPS. Thise go to the Express Office which I think is 21402 but could well be 21412. When I lived in the Yard my zip was 21402, as are the USNA staff offices. It can be challenging.
What I don't know is any security measures the packages go through. At the Pentagon, official mail arrived with a faint burned smell because of what they went through.
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HopefulDad3210
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Parent Info Book on USNA site has Express Office with 21412 zip. Address is basically the same as USPS except for adding lines:
US Naval Academy
Bancroft Hall, EXPRESS OFFICE
Do we think that's a misprint on the zip?
HopefulDad3210
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Looks like I was somehow directed to an older booklet. Current one says nothing about UPS or FedEx. Does that just mean they can't be used?
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USNA Express Office scuttlebutt (Navy slang for gossip, intel, hearsay):
I called the nice ladies at the USNA Post Office this afternoon. The clerk with whom I spoke said the long-time Express Office employee retired July 1, and the office was being staffed only in the mornings with someone from another office. If only 50% of plebe parents sent a UPS/Fedex package the first week....I have a mental image of what the Express Office might look like. I am also sure the Commandant and his staff are well aware of the problem, IF there is one, and are taking steps to address the issue. Everyone understands the impact on morale.
The USPS lady said "send packages to us. We bring in extra staff and hand it over to detailers daily."
I tried looking in the online USNA phone directory for the Express Office but could not find a number. That's why I called the USNA USPS.
I called the nice ladies at the USNA Post Office this afternoon. The clerk with whom I spoke said the long-time Express Office employee retired July 1, and the office was being staffed only in the mornings with someone from another office. If only 50% of plebe parents sent a UPS/Fedex package the first week....I have a mental image of what the Express Office might look like. I am also sure the Commandant and his staff are well aware of the problem, IF there is one, and are taking steps to address the issue. Everyone understands the impact on morale.
The USPS lady said "send packages to us. We bring in extra staff and hand it over to detailers daily."
I tried looking in the online USNA phone directory for the Express Office but could not find a number. That's why I called the USNA USPS.
Agree send packages USPS. The post office staffs for it. It is chaos there from all the Ps packages. As a detailer we used to haul
This stuff up daily. Flat rate boxes are the way to go. Honestly they need letters more than boxes. They have everything they need and if boxes get sent every few days they will have an excess. A lot to Plebes eventually ask parents to stop sending stuff they end up with so much. Skip the express office.
This stuff up daily. Flat rate boxes are the way to go. Honestly they need letters more than boxes. They have everything they need and if boxes get sent every few days they will have an excess. A lot to Plebes eventually ask parents to stop sending stuff they end up with so much. Skip the express office.
CatChaser
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Two detailers were over at the house tonight (sponsor mids). To their knowledge only one plebe has left. They also said Tango Company would not open until next Tuesday or Wednesday.
navymom17, this post got to me! I have been a reader on this forum for several years , having one son commission in 2015 and another who is currently a youngster. I have never felt compelled to reply- until now. I will probably never post again, but I need to share this with you. Our youngster only wanted USNA- just like yours. Then we got "the letter . " Then the "phone call". Then he "Tangoed"..... ugh!!!
Our advice to you is to write him as many letters as you can- let him know that you realize he is questioning his decision, but encourage him to give it more time. If there is a coach or scout leader that knows him well, call them and ask them to write him. If he goes to Tango, he will be able to call you as often as he needs to. When he does call, make sure to ask him about the positive things he's experienced and get him to focus on those. Going to Tango does not mean the end of the line. I think it actually gave my son the quiet time he needed to sort things out. Once the yelling stopped, he had a little more clarity and could evaluate his choices and the effects they were going to have. He was that kid that liked making his own decisions, and my daughter hit the nail on the head when she pointed out that USNA was making every decision for him now. The only decision he had control over at that point was leaving! I suspect your son may be feeling some loss of control over his life as well.
It was a tough time for us as a family. We all questioned ourselves and how we should react. It sure brought the six of us closer together! Our ensign son was just remarkable through it all and his perspective was priceless. He recommended that our plebe take it a step at a time-finish the summer, then reevaluate. Finish the academic year, then reevaluate. etc. When he reaches out to you, give him all the time he needs to talk it out. Our son started to second guess his decision to separate when he got to Tango because he had made some buddies, etc. Then you can remind him that he owes the Navy nothing until his 2 for 7 is signed his 2/c year- and he can take advantage of all USNA has to offer until that time! As a parent you see it is an incredible opportunity he has worked towards for years- remind him of that. Whatever the outcome is, know this: the officers and chaplains know what they are doing and are very good at getting the plebes to think through their decision. He must make the one that is best for him. It is your job to support him no matter what, but it is also ok to remind him why he was there on I day in the first place! Hang in there navymom17, hang in there! Your son will figure things out.
Fast forward 1 year - our youngster loves USNA and can't imagine being any place else.
Having been through this, I wish you both the best. It will make you both stronger, you can be sure of that!
Wow!!! Thank you so much for sharing your experience with me. I am so glad that your son is loving USNA. You hit the nail on the head with being told what to do. He does not like it at all, which is why I was so surprised he wanted to go that route. It is a relief to hear that there has been as least one to make it out of tango and back to the brigade. I hope to hear from him this weekend, but he may be hesitant to call due to the amount of crying he heard when he called on Tuesday to tell me the news. I will continue to write. Do you know if they let them leave once they get to Tango or do they have to stay for so long? Also, if he does Tango, do I have to address my letters differently. Once again, thank you.
Thank you!
Once they get to Tango they start to meet with all kinds of people to really think this through. They will also start to out process. They are escorted throughout the process by Tango Detailers. They can't leave until they out process. If he Tango's he can address the mail question with his Detailers. Don't give up hope yet. Come Sunday his kind might be totally different. Be positive and reassuring, remind him he can and will do this.
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OK, I know this will be difficult, but IMO you should really try to hold it together during the next call. He may perceive your crying as disappointment in him and it will probably feel like added pressure. He's probably already worried enough about letting people down. If you can, be calm and reassuring without crying. Let him know you believe he has what it takes to do this, that he doesn't need to think too far ahead yet. He has time to give it a try and get a more realistic experience of what it will be like before committing. Let him know it's OK with you if after Plebe summer and a semester or year if he doesn't want to continue. You can let him know you really believe it's best to hang in there for a while longer to make a better decision without feeling like you are pushing him into a military career he may be questioning now.
LongAgoPlebe
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@navymom17 This was my first post 6 years ago. Maybe it'll be helpful to you. BHM was another plebe mom like you.
Definitely be strong on the next phone call as Dadof2 recommends! He may still be emotional, but if you are calm it will calm him down. Tango is usually a few days but it differs for each person- our son spent almost 2 there. He told us that until he stepped out of the gates he could turn back. He isn't much of a talker and we joked that having to explain himself several times was going to send him back to his company! Also, he did receive all his mail while in Tango. He admits that he "got broken", but that it happens to everyone in one way or another. If you can, suggest that he do his best and make the most of each hour so that he has no regrets.
Best regards.