Hello Texana:
I read your original post yesterday and decided to mull your words overnight before writing a response. Like you, I am new to this forum and have a DS who is seriously considering service via an academy or ROTC. Also like you and your son, we live in (conservative, bible-belt, small-town) Texas. That however, may very well be where our similarities end.
My son and I are those conservative neighbors to whom you ascribe, or at minimum insinuate, a certain incapability to empathize with people who hold ideals that differ from our own. I can assure you that is not the case. Your statement your that your son, "is very turned off by reflexive patriotism..." was particularly distasteful, given your example of what constitutes reflexive patriotism.
Your example of Colin Kaepernick's peaceful protest is a bit hypocritical. You present the example in a way which presumes that anyone who disagrees with your son's view, does so because of a shallow, distorted understanding of the underlying issues. The hypocrisy is rooted in your assumption that any disagreement comes from a place of ignorance and is merely a knee-jerk reaction. Again, I can assure you that is not the case. My son and I have discussed this story, and he does disagree with Colin's behavior. My son believes Colin has the right to kneel during the National Anthem; however, just because you can...doesn't mean you should. DS sees this protest as somewhat self-serving, given Kaepernick's position with the team and the way it subsequently raised his national profile. DS also sees it as counterproductive, in view of the negative reaction from the general public and the law enforcement community, to whom it was directed.
I do not raise these arguments to re-litigate whether Kaepernick is patriotic, anti-American, or somewhere in between; but to disabuse your son of the notion that one side or the other has absolute moral or intellectual high ground. More importantly, you and your son should understand that the individuals who are appointed to any of the academies will be the best of America, all outstanding individuals. They will be intellectually curious, open to new ideas, and very diverse in a multitude of ways. Your son should be ready to be challenged on his beliefs, when he presents them, and it will not be a reflexive, ill-conceived argument from the other side.
One last thought about the Service Academies and how they compare with an Ivy League education. I do believe that the academies will lean more conservative than the Ivies. Ivy schools have always proudly proclaimed that they are a place where students learn critical thinking and diversity of thought. That said, it has become common practice at these colleges for students and even faculty to protest speakers with whom they disagree. Often those protests result in the cancellation of these engagements. Now that certainly can't promote diversity of thought. Can anyone on this forum imagine academy cadets doing anything other than politely and conscientiously listening to a speaker with whom they disagreed. I can't.
Texana, I know it was not your intention to entice an argument with your post. In fact, based on some of the answers you received, many readers found nothing about your post objectionable. For me, there was a subtle arrogance in it that just struck a chord and required a response. As stated above, I believe that you underestimate the caliber of the cadets with which your son will matriculate. I believe that you will find this community extremely helpful in your son's quest to become a "leader of character" from the USMA. Based on your description of him, it appears that he will make a fine candidate and exceptional cadet. I wish you and him the best of luck.
JDB