Prep School parents saying DS or DD are attending the academy

duke24

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Dec 21, 2015
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Our DS received an appointment to USNA for the class of 2020 and will be attending the class of 2020. We could not be more proud of his accomplishments. Coincidentally a classmate was applying to a different SA and didn't get an appointment but was offered the prep option. The parents and prepster are telling our community he is going to the SA. Even at the prepsters grad open house it was understood by our community that the prepster was attending the SA. Our family is speechless and offended but have not tried to educate anyone on the differences.
Very small community and frankly uneducated on the SA process! Praying for the right words!
 
You won't regret taking the high road and modeling that for your DS.

Truth has a way of coming out.

If you are asked directly, you can always say something, with true warmth and sincerity, along the lines of "We are so pleased for X because prep school gives him an excellent chance at an appointment; we understand a high percentage of prep schoolers gain an appointment if they do well there. It's great for him that Service Academy Y believes in X enough to offer him the prep school. We are so proud of both DS and X." All of that can be said with truth by you. If it comes up.

Let it be a tempest in a teapot. X knows he doesn't have an appointment. There is nothing wrong or "lesser" with going the prep school way. They tend to do extremely well at the SA, because of the additional maturity, time away from home, academic grooming and increased exposure to military environment. X should own his prep appointment with pride. No one cares once at the SA. One path is not better than others.
 
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Agree with Grunt. Honestly who cares. If they don't make it through the Prep School or don't earn an appointment then they will have lots to explain. Your DS has enough pressure and nerves on himself right now as he prepares for the summer. Focus on the last few weeks at home, who cares what someone else is doing or saying.
 
Agree with Grunt. Honestly who cares. If they don't make it through the Prep School or don't earn an appointment then they will have lots to explain.

This. Getting in to an academy is much much much easier than graduating from an academy. I wouldn't sweat it to much.

The academy system has a nasty way of taking care of people who think too highly of themselves. I watched this happen more than once, even as late as 1/C year.

The talk of the town when I graduated high school was the "only" graduating senior who was accepted to a service academy. He wasn't the only one, I was too, but I quietly went along on my way, because I knew all I could do was take care of business to get ready for plebe Indoc. I think I did feel a little heart burn about not having the same recognition, but it quickly passed and I forgot about him as I sweated it out on Long Island.

He was disenrolled for an honor offense his 4/C year. He has told everyone at home (...including me) he quit because he didn't like it, but the academy alumni network is tight, and things like that won't stay a secret.

I understand this is frustrating, but try not to sweat it, vent a little to someone who can keep a secret and move along. As my little anecdote demonstrates these things tend to come full circle in some very heavy ways.
 
Our DS received an appointment to USNA for the class of 2020 and will be attending the class of 2020. We could not be more proud of his accomplishments. Coincidentally a classmate was applying to a different SA and didn't get an appointment but was offered the prep option. The parents and prepster are telling our community he is going to the SA. Even at the prepsters grad open house it was understood by our community that the prepster was attending the SA. Our family is speechless and offended but have not tried to educate anyone on the differences.
Very small community and frankly uneducated on the SA process! Praying for the right words!
I am going to give you another perspective. The perspective of a parent whose child is going to a prep school. When my son first got acceptance to his SA prep school, we explained the process and how it worked. Going to prep and then appointed (hopefully) to the SA the next year. As much as we explained the process, all anyone heard was that he was going to an SA. I personally have explained the process numerous times to people and they are just not getting the concept. At some point, you say to yourself - why even bother. Now I am not sure if this is the case with those people but explaining the whole prep school concept is a bit difficult - his grandparents aren't even getting it and I have told them like five different times.

That being said, I am not sure why you are offended. Whether you got into the SA right now or got selected to go to the prep school and then to SA, both are equally as awesome and difficult to achieve. Both kids should be excited and you should be excited for both kids.
 
It's so much easier to say your DD/DS is going to USxxA than it is to explain that he/she is going to USxxA Prep school to most people. I don't think they would care much anyway. Just let it go. Enjoy your child's accomplishments and let that family enjoy theirs. Don't let this take that pride and joy away from your family. Life is too short to worry about someone else's issues. Just my $0.2.
 
^^ I agree. Prep can be a route to an appointment and once there no one really cares how you got there. Many people not directly involved with service academies and/or the military are probably not familiar with all of the details about how such things work. I agree with those who posted above that it isn't something to worry about and it might just be a misunderstanding of the terminology.
 
Agree with Grunt. Honestly who cares. If they don't make it through the Prep School or don't earn an appointment then they will have lots to explain. Your DS has enough pressure and nerves on himself right now as he prepares for the summer. Focus on the last few weeks at home, who cares what someone else is doing or saying.
Thank you!
 
It's so much easier to say your DD/DS is going to USxxA than it is to explain that he/she is going to USxxA Prep school to most people. I don't think they would care much anyway. Just let it go. Enjoy your child's accomplishments and let that family enjoy theirs. Don't let this take that pride and joy away from your family. Life is too short to worry about someone else's issues. Just my $0.2.
 
I agree, it is not that easy to discuss prep , and may not be intentional, my DS got a prep sponsor appt. we have explained and explained and still even when graduating they still put academy appointment on the grad info. We gave up correcting and DS has said one way or another, how ever long it takes- he will get an appointment to make it true and correct . Although we know it's not "class of 2020"... :(. I hope Duke can be happy for their prep achievement too, and encourage them to get a direct appt next year.
 
Agree with Skismuggs. While we have a large military community and they understand "attending a service academy," most had no knowledge of USMMA. Since USMMA does not have their "own" prep school, our DS was sponsored to go to MMI. Which would have made explaining his plans even more challenging. It was just easier to say DS was attending a service academy. You should be happy for the kid. So what if he's going to prep school first, at least he is willing to raise his hand and swear to support and defend our nation.
 
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