R-Day question

[hopefulmominla]

Make sure you can STAND...Most of SSTP is waiting in line studying your indoc, but we don’t remember it that way, unless you see it as an outside staff who’s with the swabs all summer. HYDRATE weeks leading up to it especially if you’re not from New England. Run, run, run. Practice the stuff in the pre-reporting guide, push ups, sit-ups, Mountain climbers, squats, the whole bit. Easier said THAN DONE Cheers.

Yes hydrate and do yourself a favor and show up weaned off of caffeine…. You’ll thank yourself for sure!

 

[US?A]

I would spend the extra time at home with family and friends. Check out a couple of Youtube videos and get in great shape. You will be okay. Mom and Dad can connect with the local parents club and get good info.

 

[StPaulDad]

Let me tell you, in our experience, drop off itself in the morning isn't bad. It's a rolling drop off and it happens so fast. They hop out of the car and get in line. You're a little sad/nervous of course, but it's like ripping off a band aid. The 15 minutes in the afternoon is BRUTAL. Wouldn't have missed it, of course, but that's the time when everything has gotten very real!! They're beat down, their feet are already killing them, most shed tears at some point. Then they get formed back up with their company and get yelled at as they march back into chase hall. Then, in our case, we were all of a sudden empty nesters and had a long, emotional journey home.

The drop-off is remarkably quick: DD hopped out of the back seat and was gone into the gym within seconds, to both of our surprise. That's intentional, and the pace is sustained for the swabs for most of the day.

Regarding the rest: bring something simple for them to eat and drink since they won't eat much of what they are offered for lunch. Bring a couple extra sandwich/fruit/drinks and keep an eye open for other swabs who don't appear to have anyone to hang out with. Share your phone too. In fact suggest to your kid that she bring back any stragglers she can find from her company to be fed, although don't expect much on that front since they don't really have any chance to meet each other by then. My DD couldn't even recall her roommate's name at that point.

When together for the goodbye just try be a good sounding board for your kid. Just be you even if they aren't necessarily themselves. They'll be somewhat subdued more than likely, and as an outsider who hasn't seen what they've seen in the past six hours you won't be adding much at that point, so just listen and maybe mention that that it was always going to be a rough summer and most people both hate it and get through it. If they want to quit try to insist they give it an actual try and not bail before things get started. Many find it easiest to get through the summer a day or a meal at a time, but you're probably not going to be an authoritative figure on the field that afternoon so only mention things like that before arriving at the academy. They'll have read or watched similar sentiments on the internet, so on R day you might just want to refer to what you know they know. A good baseline is "They aren't going to ask you to do things you cannot do. Their goal is to see you succeed, just in their way." If you're an emotional person I can only say Good Luck.

And after the swabs march off it is over. There's nothing else for you there, so go home, write some letters, wait for the rare letter from your swab and pore over PDuddy and the Parents' Assn pages to search for your Waldo. It's all on them at that point, so consider them joyously launched just as you intended over the past 18 years. You may have to lie to yourself a bit at first, but eventually you'll come to believe that they are living a dream and are on their way to great things.

 

[scprepoh]

There is one thing to do. That is watch the parents descend into a mob mentality trying to get on the busses back to their cars. I've never felt so much like a lemming in my life. Maybe best to get an Uber to get out after you say goodbye. That or plan to take one last stroll around campus.

 

[StPaulDad]

Oh, a couple other things I was surprised by back in the day:

- No caffeine allowed, so read the ingredient labels on the Cliff bars and drink mixes and whatever else you send them. And if your swab has a big coffee habit they won't want to deal with the withdrawal headaches while being ministered to by the cadre, so cut back to decaf or milk and water a week or two beforehand.

- If you stop to think about the amount of yelling everyone does in a typical day the need for cough drops makes a lot of sense, but we hadn't considered it so it was something we had to send later. When we first heard from our swab on Mystic Flag Day at the half-way point she sounded like Peppermint Patty. These don't need to be medical so much as something to suck on to soothe a sore throat.

- A lighter is useful for loose threads and other sundry tasks like shoe polishing. Alas you can't bring one on a plane, so throw one in the box you can pack at the Parents' Assn tables. A lint roller is another easy add for later, though they are rarely dressed up during the summer and won't need one until the academic year starts.

- Do not expect a lot of letters during the summer. Oh sure, your kid may turn out to be the one who writes a book about their experience, but mine only wrote three letters in seven weeks and most were pieced together one or two paragraphs at a time as energy and free time allowed. The voice may be exhausted or crushed or elated or disjointed, but more than likely it'll be a mix of all of these depending on the last thing that happened before writing. A bad day with a lot of negative cadre attention can be completely wiped away with the tiniest approval from a voice of authority the next day, so don't fret over an individual cranky call or letter. A longer pattern of despair might be worth investigating, but roll slow knowing that your kid is being observed daily and that they are watching for signs of trouble. Questions will be asked if anyone spins out unexpectedly, so swab well-being is cadre well-being in the most important ways.

- Swabs do have to journal regularly and cadre are assigned to read the journals for signs of crisis or struggle. Additionally, swabs can request to see a chaplain if they desire, and there are regular chapel times on Sundays for everyone regardless of faith. (Even non-religious swabs often go just for the donuts and at ease time.) In fact the chaplains are there as counselors as much as religious figures, having seen and heard a lot and living outside the chain of command. They can listen and advise what cadre behavior is normal or expected, to help identify feelings and point out how justified they might be and offer ways to handle them, or to help discern if dropping out is proper for a particular swab. If your kid is struggling refer him to a chaplain with all the confidence in the world, knowing that there are only a few of them and they take the job knowing most swabs won't be of their faith (or perhaps any faith at all.) It's not a recruiting job, it's to help people in need and they are there for counsel and compassion. If you go to R day weekend early be sure to swing by and introduce yourself. They are great people and love to make contacts with the swabs and their families.

 

[27BearDad]

Do not expect a lot of letters during the summer. Oh sure, your kid may turn out to be the one who writes a book about their experience, but mine only wrote three letters in seven weeks and most were pieced together one or two paragraphs at a time as energy and free time allowed.

We were shocked that our kid wrote nearly every day this past summer. I think it was a good outlet/coping mechanism for her so she always seemed to make time to do it. It was amazing to see the range of emotions from day today - or even hour by hour as some of the letters were pieced together throughout the day.