Hello all,
Well aware of how annoying these threads can be, however I can think of no better community to help me strengthen my NROTC essay. I appreciate ALL input and thank you for simply taking the time to read it. Specifically, I would like comments regarding my essay's appeal to officers who read it rather than flow.
As follows,
Every veteran I have ever met demonstrates an inspiring sense of purpose and fulfillment in life, a vigilance provided by a universal goal of making the world a better place. My first reason to become a Naval Officer is to live this creed every day, embodying the core values all Officers share. This ambition can be traced back to my childhood when my father instilled in me a strong desire to find purpose in life by his accounts of service in the Navy. It is his heritage and the tradition of Naval Officers worldwide that sparked within me a commitment to become a Naval Officer. It is their valor that led me to my purpose in life, a dedication to honor, to hold true to the sacrifice of every serviceman past. Our world was built on the lives and deaths of a select few men and women brave enough to fight, and this selfless act is not something you can ask of a person; it is something they must ask for themselves. I strive constantly to emulate this principle, one that I will stand and sacrifice for. The desire to live out the courageous actions of the Navy is a major purpose in my life, the creed all Officers share that powers me forward even now.
The ambition of becoming a Naval Officer has fueled all other aspects and passions of my life, including education and leadership. This goal has given me a second reason for seeking a NROTC scholarship, to earn the quality education and training that only the United States Navy can provide. Naval Officers don?t just become elite warriors. They become superior engineers, pilots, or doctors. Most importantly, through a higher education, they learn how to protect without firing a single bullet, how to mend rather than destroy in order to protect peace globally. This quality is what I desire, an education of strength and of purpose. In turn, I can use this guidance to further the mission of the United States Navy.
Rights aren?t rights if someone can take them away and as a part of the United States Navy, I would be a key piece in a system devoted to the purpose of defending not just this country, but a global reach of land and sea. This principle is the third and most important reason of my desire to obtain an NROTC scholarship. Through the ambition of becoming an Officer, I also undertake the constant necessity of protection, the privilege of inspiration, and a lifelong purpose, a commitment to excellence.
Well aware of how annoying these threads can be, however I can think of no better community to help me strengthen my NROTC essay. I appreciate ALL input and thank you for simply taking the time to read it. Specifically, I would like comments regarding my essay's appeal to officers who read it rather than flow.
As follows,
Every veteran I have ever met demonstrates an inspiring sense of purpose and fulfillment in life, a vigilance provided by a universal goal of making the world a better place. My first reason to become a Naval Officer is to live this creed every day, embodying the core values all Officers share. This ambition can be traced back to my childhood when my father instilled in me a strong desire to find purpose in life by his accounts of service in the Navy. It is his heritage and the tradition of Naval Officers worldwide that sparked within me a commitment to become a Naval Officer. It is their valor that led me to my purpose in life, a dedication to honor, to hold true to the sacrifice of every serviceman past. Our world was built on the lives and deaths of a select few men and women brave enough to fight, and this selfless act is not something you can ask of a person; it is something they must ask for themselves. I strive constantly to emulate this principle, one that I will stand and sacrifice for. The desire to live out the courageous actions of the Navy is a major purpose in my life, the creed all Officers share that powers me forward even now.
The ambition of becoming a Naval Officer has fueled all other aspects and passions of my life, including education and leadership. This goal has given me a second reason for seeking a NROTC scholarship, to earn the quality education and training that only the United States Navy can provide. Naval Officers don?t just become elite warriors. They become superior engineers, pilots, or doctors. Most importantly, through a higher education, they learn how to protect without firing a single bullet, how to mend rather than destroy in order to protect peace globally. This quality is what I desire, an education of strength and of purpose. In turn, I can use this guidance to further the mission of the United States Navy.
Rights aren?t rights if someone can take them away and as a part of the United States Navy, I would be a key piece in a system devoted to the purpose of defending not just this country, but a global reach of land and sea. This principle is the third and most important reason of my desire to obtain an NROTC scholarship. Through the ambition of becoming an Officer, I also undertake the constant necessity of protection, the privilege of inspiration, and a lifelong purpose, a commitment to excellence.