Roller coaster II: Get Me (The Parent) Through Plebe Year Class of ‘25 🎢

Heatherg21

USNA mom Bacon Lover Dog Lover
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Jun 26, 2019
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2,779
Hmmm, sounds like our family. Big DD mid flies in. Little DS cadet picks her up. They head to Five Guys or Raising Cane’s for a bite and a chat. Sharing military experiences that the other will understand in a way that parents can’t. A little sibling love goes a long way, especially since future times together will be few and far between. 🙁
It sounds perfect. And my civilian DD and her MIDN brother have their own language, I swear. I don't understand half of what they say to one another. I think they speak in Sponge Bob references. It's beyond me. Makes me wonder sometimes how that boy got into 3 academies when I hear them chatting. :screwy:
 

Capt MJ

Formerly Known As Attila The Hunnette
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Hmmm, sounds like our family. Big DD mid flies in. Little DS cadet picks her up. They head to Five Guys or Raising Cane’s for a bite and a chat. Sharing military experiences that the other will understand in a way that parents can’t. A little sibling love goes a long way, especially since future times together will be few and far between. 🙁
Is your DS cadet going to give his big sis her first salute on Comm Day?
 

LT360

Member
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Apr 9, 2021
Messages
280
BRW, in case you aren’t aware, and you Mid is open to it, family can accompany departing Military. With a gate pass. So y’all can wait with them up at the gate.
Where do obtain the Gate pass? From airline ticket desk?
 

Lamikesell

Member
Joined
Sep 10, 2020
Messages
24
For the “been there, did that” folks— I could use some advice.

My DS is excited to come home for Thanksgiving (normal) but is not really excited to see his friends. In fact— I think he’s almost actively trying to avoid them. I’m not sure what to make of it.. more importantly, I not sure how to support him, what to say, what to NOT say, etc. What’s normal? When do I worry? Is this all just FOMO for his friends who have a “normal” college experience ?

This damn roller coaster….
 

Capt MJ

Formerly Known As Attila The Hunnette
10-Year Member
Joined
Sep 27, 2008
Messages
12,953
For the “been there, did that” folks— I could use some advice.

My DS is excited to come home for Thanksgiving (normal) but is not really excited to see his friends. In fact— I think he’s almost actively trying to avoid them. I’m not sure what to make of it.. more importantly, I not sure how to support him, what to say, what to NOT say, etc. What’s normal? When do I worry? Is this all just FOMO for his friends who have a “normal” college experience ?

This damn roller coaster….
He has bonded with a new and very different family of friends and culture now. It can be exhausting to explain what it is you are doing, why you took this oath, where it will lead, what your typical day looks like, remembering to use civilian time and civilian-speak with them. His path has diverged. There is a saying, “there are friends of an age, friends of a stage and friends of a lifetime.” Let him navigate this transition on his own. I remember when I came home from my first duty station in Spain and caught up with HS friends who had not yet traveled far from home. I kept my mouth shut about all the places I’d been and things I had done in the space of a year or so out of college. When you’re around military people, you are with your tribe and think nothing about “name-dropping” about places, adventures, famous people. At my first duty station, my sailors were chosen to crew a boat for President Carter when he visited Venice, I and my chief went along to lead the det, met interesting people, scored swag - my HS buds were talking about fun things much more local and low-profile - I didn’t want to sound braggy, so I edited myself around them and focused on the pleasure of hearing their news and stories. You bet I shared that story with OCS classmates, though.

Don’t overwhelm him with huge and broad questions such as “tell me all about it.” Ask ones that elicit a “sea story” and often lead to other discussions. What is the coolest thing you have done since I-Day? What’s the worst thing you have eaten? What was the thing you didn’t expect at all? Who is the most impressive classmate you have met? Who is your favorite prof? What are some of the things you have learned from your senior enlisted leader? Any good roommate dramas?
 

MidCakePa

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May 22, 2018
Messages
3,565
DD loved high school and her friends from that stage of life. Surprisingly, when she came home for the first Thanksgiving and Christmas, she wasn’t necessarily eager to see them. I never asked why but chalk it up to a few things:

One, she missed home and family, and wanted to spend most of her time focused there. (I should just stop here, shouldn’t I? 😉)

Two, she was very busy with schoolwork, since finals came up very quickly after break. She actually did buckle down on the books while in her bedroom.

Three, high-school friends do drift apart. And it often happens quicker than we anticipate. Many are friends due mainly to proximity. Going away to school, and being exposed to those who might be more naturally your tribe, gives you a different perspective on prior friends from home.

It’s a natural evolution, I believe. It happens to virtually all of us. Let your mid find their way.
 
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StPaulDad

Member
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Feb 24, 2017
Messages
598
I think there's a piece of this is that is nothing more than finally facing and acknowledging the changes over the past year, and the gulf that's opened between the new life and the old. You can avoid folks, or sit and be polite, but at the end of the break you are concretely aware that you have new people and not everyone made the jump. Sort of sad maybe, I suppose it depends on the person, but part of the path to walk.
 

txfwindian

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Aug 6, 2019
Messages
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Our is a different story for right now, let's see how it unfolds in the future. As soon as DD lands, one of her HS friends is coming over for a sleepover ( Wednesday night), another sleepover ( thursday night) and last one on friday night. We ( poor parents) will only spend some day time with her. We are hoping that she is equally excited to see us ..;)
 

justdoit19

Proud parent of an ANG, USNA X2, and a MidSib
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Apr 9, 2017
Messages
5,183
For the “been there, did that” folks— I could use some advice.

My DS is excited to come home for Thanksgiving (normal) but is not really excited to see his friends. In fact— I think he’s almost actively trying to avoid them. I’m not sure what to make of it.. more importantly, I not sure how to support him, what to say, what to NOT say, etc. What’s normal? When do I worry? Is this all just FOMO for his friends who have a “normal” college experience ?

This damn roller coaster….
Been there, done that x two Mids..and can tell you this is as unique to each one as they are themselves. So dont worry. And its isn’t necessarily a SA thing….its a normal growing up, maturing, changing, thing that eventually happens to all kiddos. There is SO much change, especially their first year in college (and, a SA is that times 100 on steriods!). This is all healthy and normal. My oldest still treasures coming home and hanging with buddies. My youngest?? Isn’t even coming home for Thanksgiving, preferring to stay with HIS tribe of besties that are local. Youngest has moved completely away from his high school buds, sans one. Partly bc he identified in high school with a crew through a girlfriend that is no longer in the picture, but same premise: he is so different than who he was then. And identifies with his new self, new buddies. They ARE his people.

Just go with the flow. The bonds forming and already formed through their new experiences are stronger than any Ive seen elsewhere. It’s pretty spectacular! And normal. How many of your own high school Buddies are your present besties? Maybe a couple. But not the whole group.

Enjoy your time together. And dont worry.

Signed,
Been there, done that

Adding this: it could also be that this is such a quick turnaround, he just wants to decompress. Period. He has been around friends and company mates 24/7, and this is his first chance to just BE. Don’t worry. Also adding this!! A timely meme i just saw, on a popular Mid account…yes its NORMAL

DA661E8B-6895-446A-B471-C7C1870DA45B.jpeg
 
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93RN

⚓️ Proud USNA Mom 🦀
Joined
Mar 17, 2021
Messages
186
We weren’t even home an hour, then all of a sudden we hear yelling and screaming outside on the driveway 😱
Then several of DS’s friends pile through the kitchen door as if they were running onto the football field! 😂
Most of them have been together since Pre-K ❤️
 

Old Enlisted Marine

The only title better than Marine is DAD
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Sep 16, 2021
Messages
173
The front door has been swinging in and out since DS got home yesterday. So much so the door handle broke, not kidding. Not sure I even want to know what shenanigans caused that. BUT I love it! All Hoovered all of the breakfast DW made and now they are out at the beach in 40 degree weather! Speaking of breakfast today was the first time the friends he brought home had a pork roll breakfast sandwich. I was told it is FIRE! I think thats good.
 

Capt MJ

Formerly Known As Attila The Hunnette
10-Year Member
Joined
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Messages
12,953
The front door has been swinging in and out since DS got home yesterday. So much so the door handle broke, not kidding. Not sure I even want to know what shenanigans caused that. BUT I love it! All Hoovered all of the breakfast DW made and now they are out at the beach in 40 degree weather! Speaking of breakfast today was the first time the friends he brought home had a pork roll breakfast sandwich. I was told it is FIRE! I think thats good.
Taylor Pork Roll?
 

Old Enlisted Marine

The only title better than Marine is DAD
Joined
Sep 16, 2021
Messages
173
I love it but we reserve it special occasions since it’s probably not the best for the old ticker. We make it when people stay over or on things like snow days. Sooooo good but bad !
 
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