This is from the Army ROTC perspective.
I have had 2 sons go through the process, one in the Fall of 2007 and the younger this year. The process in 2007 was different then it is now, the individual schools gave out the scholarship offers rather then the centralized method today.
On the day my older son was to have his interview we received a call from the ROO asking if I would be coming with my son. I told her yes but I would wait outside for him so I didn't get in the way. Her comment was No, we want you to come in as well and that the Colonel wanted to talk with me. When we arrived the ROO asked me to come in with my son, we all talked for about a half hour, I then left to meet with the Colonel while my son had his formal interview. The Colonel asked me a lot of questions and answered any that I had, he spent the time giving me information about the program and the school, also spent time trying to get me to convince my son to attend their school, he ended up going to a different school. They seemed very interested in the family dynamic and the level of support we had for our son.
Now skip ahead 3 years. The selection process is different but we found the interaction with each school to be very similar. We were always encouraged to sit with our son during visits and ask whatever questions we had. We tried hard to make sure our son did most of the talking but it was obvious they wanted us engaged in the conversation.
My younger son's interview was a bit unorthodox. He was visiting his brother at school and had set up a time to just meet and greet the PMS and ROO after a morning PT he was allowed to participate in. He was in his shorts, T-shirt and running shoes from PT when they met. During the meeting the PMS asked if he just wanted this to be his interview, luckily he had a printed resume sheet with him. He said sure, he was a bit worried and told the PMS that he didn't have any nice clothes to change into. The PMS just laughed and said he was just fine, and that he was interested in what he had to say, not what he was wearing. It was a bit out of sequence because my son was still a junior in high school and had not even begun the application yet. The PMS held onto the interview and sent it in once my son completed the application. I will always believe that one of the reasons my son was selected on the first board was the result of the interview.
One observation I can make from the experience is this. My older son had really no idea what to expect when ROTC began, we had never read any of these boards and knew no one that had gone through it, he was going in blind. In the end I think he has excelled because he was able to learn the program with no preconceived idea of how it all worked. My younger son has heard all the stories so it will be interesting to see the difference in how he adapts.
I guess my best advice to parents of first time cadets is don't over think it. You can pour through these boards and get all sorts of advice. In the end your son or daughter will have to find there own way through everything that will be thrown at them.
It's a different world from just going to college and not everyone will take to it right away, for some it may never happen, others will take to it like a fish to water.
Clarksonarmy is very correct when he says that there are many diamonds in the rough, and the cadre is pretty good and shaping those raw lumps of coal. My son's PMS put it very well...."Once they start day one we throw out all that stuff that was in there resume, it doesnt mean anything now, what counts now is how they proceed from here".
My younger son has decided to attend the same college as his brother, they will be a MSIV and a MS1 for a year, it should be exciting.
Time to cut the cord and let them find their own way, Good luck to the class of 2015.