Sending Cadet to I-Day Alone via Air?

Q

Qdog

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My DS accepted his appointment. Many thanks to those of you on this forum who responded to our question about math concerns, as it put him at ease and I believe it was critical to his decision. He also met with the husband of one of his teachers who is AF pilot who went ROTC. He recommended he go to USAFA and that sealed the deal.

Anyway, last night my wife and I talked about whether we should spend the money for me to fly out for I-Day. with him. I'd rather come to Acceptance Day and we will try to bring the whole family to Parents Weekend (we have 4 kids, so its pricey). We read that somewhere that only 50% of parents bring their kids.

A concern I have is that if he had to fly alone, get to a hotel, then get to the academy etc. it would add some stress to an already stressful day - primarily if something goes wrong (delay, etc). He really does not like to be late to stuff. That said, I see benefits to him actually having to take this on b/c well, it's time to start taking on more responsibility. Moreover, this is minor compared to what he will face in the future. He's flown alone before but never had to things like get to a hotel, etc.

Does anyone have thoughts or experiences that they could share? The 2025 appointee guide and parent handbook don't seem to recommend one over the other.
 
Different academy, but that is what we did with our Midn. USNA had special shuttles running for that day only, and only for the plebes to be. And, they allowed them to spend the night there the night before. I would think USAFA would have similar arrangement?
 
Our son went alone and it was the best for him. He flew in the night before and stayed with one of my uncle’s USAFA classmates’ house (Class of ‘63) Through the Academy Bed and Breakfast program. They fed him a good breakfast and took him to I-Day and dropped him off. He said it was good to not have the distractions of family in the morning. I am not sure if they will have the B&B program this year as it has not been available the past two years with Covid.

This couple also became our son’s sponsor family for the rest of his 4 years there and they are still close even 11 years after he graduated.

Our son also literally took just one set of clothes in his backpack and his boots with him to the Academy. He is kind of independent.

Stealth_81
 
If you are able to take him it is an amazing and emotional experience watching them walk up the steps. If he goes alone make sure he packs minimally as he will need to carry whatever he brings to IDay all day in his left hand. (Look for reference to box boy and flip flop girl for what not to do).
 
Long ago, my parents put me on a plane in Eugene, OR and sent me on my way to USAFA by myself. Not sure of the procedure now, but it was all arranged from COS airport to hotel to USAFA the next day. Probably the easiest thing about I-day. The next time I saw my parents was on Parent's Weekend. This was the best and I'm so glad that they spent the money to come see me (they didn't have a lot of expendible cash back then so it was a sacrifice for them). It meant a lot to me and still does today.

My dh and I have decided to drop our ds off for I-day and not attend Acceptance Day. I'd rather see him take the oath than be accepted into the wing. Then, we are bringing the whole family out (we also have 4 kids) out for Parent's Weekend.
 
If you think traveling solo would be stressful to him, you ain't seen nothing yet. Seems to me you are more stressed out than he probably is. I strongly recommend you contact your parents' group to decompress. I promise someone there will help you now and for the next 4 years. Been there and done that.
 
If you have to choose between I-day and A-day, I would pick I-day. We went as a family for I-day. We showed up a couple of days prior, did a few touristy things, and really enjoyed our time together. There is a picnic for the parents after drop off, and lots of commiserating among tearful moms. The day prior to I-day, a huge group of parents and cadets went to Garden of the Gods. It was a nice way to let them ease into things. I was able to go to A-day (free due to work), and although it was nice to see DS for a couple of hours, IMO, it isn't worth spending money and time with parents weekend just a month later. Having said all of this, loads of cadets show up to I-day alone.
 
If you do decide to send him via plane highly recommend reaching out to the Facebook page to find out about other 2026's flying in. USAFA is a bit tougher with the different report in-times on I-day but if you send him the night before there will be people willing to share a hotel room. The nerves lessen when you know you'll be meeting someone else who also doesn't know what to expect. Calms both cadet and parent worries when the DS/DD says "I found the other person! We're good" This has been my experience with travel at least.
 
Qdog said:
My DS accepted his appointment. Many thanks to those of you on this forum who responded to our question about math concerns, as it put him at ease and I believe it was critical to his decision. He also met with the husband of one of his teachers who is AF pilot who went ROTC. He recommended he go to USAFA and that sealed the deal.

Anyway, last night my wife and I talked about whether we should spend the money for me to fly out for I-Day. with him. I'd rather come to Acceptance Day and we will try to bring the whole family to Parents Weekend (we have 4 kids, so its pricey). We read that somewhere that only 50% of parents bring their kids.

A concern I have is that if he had to fly alone, get to a hotel, then get to the academy etc. it would add some stress to an already stressful day - primarily if something goes wrong (delay, etc). He really does not like to be late to stuff. That said, I see benefits to him actually having to take this on b/c well, it's time to start taking on more responsibility. Moreover, this is minor compared to what he will face in the future. He's flown alone before but never had to things like get to a hotel, etc.

Does anyone have thoughts or experiences that they could share? The 2025 appointee guide and parent handbook don't seem to recommend one over the other.
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If cadet is traveling alone for I-day have them stay at Academy hotel where other cadets will be. Join the Facebook Parents page for class of 2026 and post your cadet will need a ride. We took another cadet on I-day that was travelling alone from the hotel after his mom posted that he would need a ride. So many families will be there and will offer to assist. If you have to choose when to come pick Parents weekend. OMG it is very fun for the whole family. Congratulations on his appointment.
 
Flying and ground transportation should be easy. Just make sure that if he's staying at a hotel by himself, the hotel allows check in at his age. Most do at 18yo, but some require 21yo.
 
Hockey10 said:
If you think traveling solo would be stressful to him, you ain't seen nothing yet. Seems to me you are more stressed out than he probably is. I strongly recommend you contact your parents' group to decompress. I promise someone there will help you now and for the next 4 years. Been there and done that.
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somuchbetterthanme said:
Where is your DS flying from ?
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He's flying from Raleigh/Durham. I don't think it would be stressful to him really, he's pretty independent and is ready to be out from under us. I'm more interested in making sure to control for any variables. Based on what people are saying, I think we'll end up sending him off on our own.

Love to hear any more input though as others may have the same question.
 
Having experienced my own I-day, and having dropped my own DS off for his I-day, I see merit in parents NOT ATTENDING. It sounds odd, but let me explain. This day marks quite a transition in a young person's life. Goodbyes are hard and you enter into a situation (at I-day) that you do not control. The appointee is eager to get started and join their new classmates. Parents want to hold on because letting go and saying goodbye is the final act of an 18 year journey to get to this point. You've been there to catch them when they fall. You've been there to console them when they are down - and after this point, that role transitions a bit into distant cheerleader.

It is a harsh and abrupt transition that will shed ugly tears because we simply do not want to let go of the prior situation. A situation of which both sides of the equation likely took what they had for granted but are faced with the clear reality that change is upon you and this is that moment.

In a scenario whereby you drop them at the airport, you control more of the variables but the departure time is fixed and all parties are aware. It is a familiar environment. It is a familiar routine - "now boarding flight XYZ to Colorado Springs." The familiarity of the place and the action allow you to focus more on the activity of what truly is a pinnacle achievement in any parent's life as we usher our kids into the next chapter of their life.

The plane ride serves as an intermission as they now begin to focus on thing. Getting to the hotel. Joining others that are also journeying solo to this life changing event. Mentally processing their anticipation of what they envision I-day to be like and having their first shared experience with classmates in a quasi-natural setting as they embrace their collective nervous energy. With so much coming at them, they can focus on tomorrow rather than the dreaded act of saying goodbye.

Joining for A-day is something I wish my own parents could have seen. It is an extraordinary feeling of accomplishment having survived what is assuredly the toughest 6-weeks of your life up until that point. It is a moment of celebration rather than a moment of separation and sadness.

My "goodbye" was captured in photos by the AOG and shown to the class during a picture montage on the 4th of July. At that point you are several days into a challenging experience and you are laser focused on helping your classmates make it to the next meal. Seeing that was actually kinda sad because I could see how emotional my mom was. It was lost on the other 999 basics in that room but it tore me up for a bit.

My 0.02 cents... There is no "right answer" here and both approaches will be taken. Just one perspective on the mental side of the event for the appointee.
 
In 2017 I dropped my DS off at the Memphis airport the day before Iday and he never looked back. He later said it was scary but was the best thing for him. Myself and his Grandfather made the trip for Aday and I think that was the most excited I have ever seen him. He was glad to see us but he was even more proud of his accomplishment. Icing on the cake was getting to spend a few hours with him after the parade, he showed us around the inner part of the base to include his room. He was so proud to be able to be a "man".
 
There are some mixed thoughts on this board on this topic. I STRONGLY recommend saying goodbye at the airport and letting him go alone. I think my parents offered to come to I-day but I decided I'd rather they didn't. They also didn't come to A day, but then my whole family (3 sisters + parents) came out for parents weekend and that was awesome.

For me this gave me time to start leaving my home life behind and to get my mind set for basic. There are plenty of basics that will be going alone and parents groups can definitely provide support and help with rides. See many threads on this topic from previous years.

My parents were super emotional at the airport and I would have had a much tougher time if that goodbye had happened right before I-day. It's already a rollercoaster and the last thing I needed was my parent's emotions on top of my own.
 
Qdog said:
My DS accepted his appointment. Many thanks to those of you on this forum who responded to our question about math concerns, as it put him at ease and I believe it was critical to his decision. He also met with the husband of one of his teachers who is AF pilot who went ROTC. He recommended he go to USAFA and that sealed the deal.

Anyway, last night my wife and I talked about whether we should spend the money for me to fly out for I-Day. with him. I'd rather come to Acceptance Day and we will try to bring the whole family to Parents Weekend (we have 4 kids, so its pricey). We read that somewhere that only 50% of parents bring their kids.

A concern I have is that if he had to fly alone, get to a hotel, then get to the academy etc. it would add some stress to an already stressful day - primarily if something goes wrong (delay, etc). He really does not like to be late to stuff. That said, I see benefits to him actually having to take this on b/c well, it's time to start taking on more responsibility. Moreover, this is minor compared to what he will face in the future. He's flown alone before but never had to things like get to a hotel, etc.

Does anyone have thoughts or experiences that they could share? The 2025 appointee guide and parent handbook don't seem to recommend one over the other.
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Fly him into Springs Airport, it is small and easy to navigate. Take a Lyft/Uber the day prior and stay at the Academy hotel. Only a minute drive, seriously like .2 miles from academy. Hotel may have a transport or a lyft in morning would work.

I live in Colorado and I may do this if my boy gets his appointment, so I don't get emotional the next day. He's my baby and when his big brothers left to Navy and Army I sent them off with recruiter the day prior, so they didn't have to deal with mom's emotional self on their minds.
 
I've had the pleasure (or anguish as it may be ;)) of experiencing two different versions of I-Day. DS (Class of 2020) travelled alone to I-Day and utilized the Bed & Breakfast option. His B&B host picked him (along with other incoming appointees) up at the airport, housed and fed him for the night and transported him to USAFA the next morning. This provided some reassurance to the parental units that at least he was with someone and not alone. Spending I-Day eve with other incoming appointees also acted as an ice breaker for him and the other appointees. As was previously mentioned, the B&B option was discontinued a couple of years ago but hopefully it will be restarted as it does provide the resources needed for them in terms of transportation and lodging. On a side note, this host also became DS's sponsor family during his time at USAFA. And as was mentioned in a previous response the travel time acted as a nice "intermission" for DS to process the change in life that was taking place. Not sure it helped mom and dad but that's another story. One of the main reasons we didn't attend I-Day then was that I was unemployed at the time and DS has two younger sisters, so we decided to send him alone and save resources for Parent's Weekend.

Last summer we went to I-Day with our DD (2025), accompanied by her older sister. I think the biggest influence as to why we chose to go this time around was because she is the baby of the family and not quite as independent as her older brother. It also gave us another opportunity to travel to Colorado as we fell in love with it during our DS's time at USAFA. Being familiar with USAFA because of DS's time there also was a factor as we wanted to experience I-Day from another perspective. Plus, she was entering as an IC so there was opportunity to meet her teammates and their families the day prior to I-Day. Pro Tip: Don't climb Manitou Incline the day before I-Day!

As a little humorous aside, DD joked during PW last year that he couldn't believe we just put him on a plane to fly halfway across the country just to sleep in a stranger's basement the night before starting a new journey in place we truly knew very little about. In hindsight that was a pretty fair representation of his I-Day experience but his pleas didn't gain the sympathy he was looking for from mom and dad. At that time, we just felt he was ready and capable of doing it alone.

The bottom line is that there is no right or wrong answer on whether to go to I-Day or to send DS alone. Both have their merits. I think the biggest factor is what resources you have to spend going to Colorado Springs to see him. If you can afford to go to I-Day, A-Day and PW, that is awesome and I highly encourage it. But if you have to pick and choose, I suggest this order:

1) Parent's Weekend (a must)
2a) Acceptance Day
2b) I-Day.

I put A-Day before I-Day because it is a significant moment when the shoulder boards are put on, albeit the first of many significant moments. Because I went to the Appointee Tour in April with my DS, we planned for his mother to attend A-Day. At the last minute (literally the day before she was to fly out) we decided that I should go to A-Day and I am so glad I did. If you do attend A-Day you'll be amazed at the growth of your DS during BCT. That said, I did enjoy my time at I-Day last summer.

Phew! I know that was a lot but tried to share both experiences while being brief about it. That was a challenge. The biggest takeaway, as mentioned by other posters, was the DS should travel light. He should only take what is on the list. The rest will be provided.

Congratulations on the appointment.
 
Many appointees prefer to come alone to I-Day. While the AOG Bed and Breakfast program no longer exists, we hosted many appointees through the program who came alone (be sure to book airline ticket to land in Colorado Springs and not Denver). They ALL said it was a much easier transition for them when the emotions of leaving their families was not part of the mix on I-Day (especially if their moms/dads were likely to be very emotional/crying that morning!)
Agree with the recommendation to book a room the night before at The Academy Hotel (appointee can get an Uber from COS airport). There will be a lot of appointees & their families there and it will be easy to find someone to offer a ride to USAFA on the morning of I-Day.
 
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