Should I stay or should I go?

Skipper07 said:
@Capt MJ Respectfully ma'am, I would like to claim credit for the original musical reference.
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I am so sorry, shipmate, I’ll have to go back and make the connection. It was all in the moment this morning when I read @THParent ’s rather odd but catchy post, and then The Clash started up in my head immediately, heck of a morning musical moment. Did I cluelessly breeze by your more nuanced reference?
 
MidCakePa said:
To the OP

You’ve received plenty of thoughtful viewpoints, so I have little to add. Though I do agree with @Devil Doc that your mind was made up and that you were probably looking for someone to tell you it’s OK. Well, it is OK, because it’s your decision to live with.

The main thing that struck me about your post was that there was nothing about becoming a commissioned officer. Plenty about being a pilot and majoring in criminal justice. So I suspect (and I say this respectfully) that serving as an active-duty officer was NOT at or near the top of your list of priorities when choosing a college.

To the lurkers contemplating an SA

Make sure an officer’s commission is your #1 goal. Not getting a prestigious degree or pleasing your parents or chasing a free education. SA life is as challenging as it is rewarding — many would say more of the former. It’s that commission that ultimately makes it worthwhile.

The DOD SAs are STEM schools, full stop! The original (USMA) on which the others are modeled started as essentially an engineering school. Warfare leadership demands highly technical competence and highly analytical mindsets. That’s best achieved via a STEM-heavy curriculum.

Whatever you think you want to major in, the statistics say you’ll probably change your mind. (Likely once officially, likely multiple times in your head.) Major in something you enjoy and will fight through during the darkest days of SA life. But also recognize that it will have little, if any, bearing on what you do on active duty. And even less as a civilian. Majors give you something to specialize in during college. They do not define you, nor should they debilitate you.

Finally, attending an SA is serious stuff — from when you start the application process until you’re discharged. Do some real in-depth research, and make a truly thoughtful and informed decision. Sadly, OP seems to have skimmed over that part. 😕
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The issue is that being an officer WAS my primary goal when I applied. My back up plan was to go to college and then to OTS. I just didn't really understand what being an officer entailed, until I got here and had the opportunity to talk to officers.
 
2025Candidate said:
The issue is that being an officer WAS my primary goal when I applied. My back up plan was to go to college and then to OTS. I just didn't really understand what being an officer entailed, until I got here and had the opportunity to talk to officers.
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Sounds like you know your answer then.
My advice then, is to make sure your next plan is realistic, attainable, and well thought out.
 
2025Candidate said:
The issue is that being an officer WAS my primary goal when I applied. My back up plan was to go to college and then to OTS. I just didn't really understand what being an officer entailed, until I got here and had the opportunity to talk to officers.
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It certainly sounds as if leaving USAFA makes sense. I am curious though and wonder if the lesson you learned could help others. What was it that you learned when you had the opportunity to talk to officers that was so different than your understanding while applying?
 
2025Candidate said:
The issue is that being an officer WAS my primary goal when I applied. My back up plan was to go to college and then to OTS. I just didn't really understand what being an officer entailed, until I got here and had the opportunity to talk to
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Your mind is set. So what’s next? Do you go home for Thanksgiving and not return? How does this look/work for you? Have you started the separation process?
 
2025Candidate said:
The issue is that being an officer WAS my primary goal when I applied. My back up plan was to go to college and then to OTS. I just didn't really understand what being an officer entailed, until I got here and had the opportunity to talk to officers.
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So after a few weeks at school and after talking to a few officers you now know that being an officer is not for you?

I’d suggest we have all failed in something moderately important to us. The only people who never fail are those who never try. You are no different.

Failure is a reality in life.

And leaving after a few weeks is in fact failure . Don’t make excuses be honest. Don’t sell some fairy story about other majors. This was just something you failed at.

What you do next is the key.

But an honest person does not hide behind excuses.

And will you regret this decision——-without question yes. Be prepared for regret.

Good Luck
 
Small Team Bacsi said:
So after a few weeks at school and after talking to a few officers you now know that being an officer is not for you?

I’d suggest we have all failed in something moderately important to us. The only people who never fail are those who never try. You are no different.

Failure is a reality in life.

And leaving after a few weeks is in fact failure . Don’t make excuses be honest. Don’t sell some fairy story about other majors. This was just something you failed at.

What you do next is the key.

But an honest person does not hide behind excuses.

And will you regret this decision——-without question yes. Be prepared for regret.

Good Luck
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Or maybe he won’t! So many judgmental people in this thread. Every mistake isn’t a failure. One could argue that failing to correct a mistake and spending the next 9 years of your life doing something you hate is a failure. There’s nothing wrong or shameful about recognizing the mistake early and correcting it.

It’s his life and he has to live it the way he sees best, and he’s the one who suffers the consequence if he doesn’t. I get the bias towards staying, this is Service Academy Forums after all. But stop and consider that you browbeating him into staying may be exactly what landed him here in the first place. Family pressure is often cited as a reason for attending by those who DOR.

To the OP - you seem to have already made up your mind - good for you. Knowing what you don’t want to do is half the battle. Now go find out what you do want to do. And hold your head high on the way out the door. There is no shame in choosing a different path.
 
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Korab said:
Or maybe he won’t! So many judgmental people in this thread. Every mistake isn’t a failure. One could argue that failing to correct a mistake and spending by the next 9 years of your life doing something you hate is a failure. There’s nothing wrong or shameful about recognizing the mistake early and correcting it.

It’s his life and he has to live it the way he sees best, and he’s the one who suffers the consequence if he doesn’t. I get the bias towards staying, this is Service Academy Forums after all. But stop and consider that you browbeating him into staying may be exactly what landed him here in the first place. Family pressure is often cited as a reason for attending by those who DOR.

To the OP - you seem to have already made up your mind - good for you. Knowing what you don’t want to do is half the battle. Now go find out what you do want to do. And hold your head high on the way out the door. There is no shame in choosing a different path.
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I am in no way saying the OP should stay. I don’t think they should. Or should not. Their decision to leave or stay means absolutely nothing to me. And in the short and long run it will mean nothing to the AF

In fact where would the pride be in graduating if everyone did graduate or could graduate?

But there will be regret. And this will be seen as a failure by the OP and by those that know the op. Failure is not at least finishing the year out. Not finishing the year is cutting and running when things first got tough.

And the OP needs to at least realize that regret will be coming. And instead of silly excuses about criminal justice they should realize this and not be surprised when that regret comes.

Not everyone is cut out for this journey. And that a good thing.
 
2025Candidate said:
The issue is that being an officer WAS my primary goal when I applied. My back up plan was to go to college and then to OTS. I just didn't really understand what being an officer entailed, until I got here and had the opportunity to talk to officers.
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You have just answered your own question. You apparently do not want to be an officer, which is a perfectly reasonable choice. If you don't want to be an officer, you will be miserable as will those who you work with. It is admirable and mature to realize and be honest about it.

I would recommend talking to your AOC, after, of course, you talk to your family. You will have regrets/questions no matter what your decision is.

It is, at the end of the day, your decision, and yours alone. It sounds like you've already decided.

Good Luck!
 
Korab said:
Or maybe he won’t! So many judgmental people in this thread. Every mistake isn’t a failure. One could argue that failing to correct a mistake and spending the next 9 years of your life doing something you hate is a failure. There’s nothing wrong or shameful about recognizing the mistake early and correcting it.

It’s his life and he has to live it the way he sees best, and he’s the one who suffers the consequence if he doesn’t. I get the bias towards staying, this is Service Academy Forums after all. But stop and consider that you browbeating him into staying may be exactly what landed him here in the first place. Family pressure is often cited as a reason for attending by those who DOR.

To the OP - you seem to have already made up your mind - good for you. Knowing what you don’t want to do is half the battle. Now go find out what you do want to do. And hold your head high on the way out the door. There is no shame in choosing a different path.
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I agree with your statement. Maybe it just isn't for him. Plenty of people want to be a lawyer. So they an intern for a law firm, then go law school going in knowing what it is to be a lawyer. Obviously, they can still quit law school but at the very least they got a good flavor of what is to be a lawyer and work for a law firm. As a 16/17-year-old who decides to join a military academy, you have nothing but your perceived assumptions of what the military or the academy is like. As i have said many other times, i think it weirder that more people don't quit. There is the idea of you worked so hard to get in, so you won't quit, you feel you will regret if you do quit so you don't and or the idea that it will get better later or once you commission plus another half dozen reason not to quit. I am not saying they aren't legit but in some cases you are justifying staying even if it's not the right thing to do. I don't know the academy but i do know Rotc. What happens at AFRotc is not what happens in the Air Force. My guess is what happens in the academy isnt what happens in the Air Force either, especially for pilots. Stay, dont stay, you need to decide what is right for you. Is it a shame you spend some much time and effort to get into an academy?, absolutely. Use that save drive and determination to kick butt in a civilian college. However if OTS is you goal later on, first OTS is very competitive (probably not as hard as getting into USAFA) and secondly you already have a guaranteed route, wh change the path to the same destination.
 
Small Team Bacsi said:
And will you regret this decision——-without question yes. Be prepared for regret.
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If you are predicting "regret", then you are predicting that OP will look back on this being a bad decision and will wish he had stayed. I think you are out of your lane in doing so. He has only begun his life as an adult.

I think you may intend to say that OP will inevitably second guess his decision at some point. That is only normal, and done thoughtfully in a cold-blooded manner, can be a good thing.
 
I was an electrical engineering major at a civilian university. There were many courses I had to take to learn the breadth of EE that i was most certainly not passionate about. But I enjoy the result of that degree in that i was trained in problem solving and working as a team.
So think about not just "college" but what you will do after.

Be practical...finish the semester (if you are passing.)...consider finishing the year if you do well enough you can transfer.
 
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Small Team Bacsi said:
I’d suggest we have all failed in something moderately important to us. The only people who never fail are those who never try. You are no different.

Failure is a reality in life.

And leaving after a few weeks is in fact failure . Don’t make excuses be honest. Don’t sell some fairy story about other majors. This was just something you failed at.

What you do next is the key.

But an honest person does not hide behind excuses.

And will you regret this decision——-without question yes. Be prepared for regret.

Good Luck
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I was expecting judgmental replies on this post, since leaving the Academy is usually seen as a bad choice, especially on here, and I had decided to just read, and not reply to those comments. However, you are not only judgmental, you are wrong, so I feel the need to defend myself and clarify some things about my situation, which may be unclear. This might be the immature decision, but this is the internet, so I'm sure I'll fit right in. If I were to leave the Academy after this semester, it would not be a failure. I am in the top 5% of my class, academically, militarily, and physically. If I were to choose to leave, it would not be because I was failing here. I have excelled here, by all measurable standards. I would not be leaving because "It's too hard for me." I have been here for almost 5 months, so not a few weeks, which I'm sure you were just exaggerating, but still. I am aware that that is a short amount of time. If I DO decide that this isn't what I want from my life, since staying here for another year and a half means that this is my path for the next 9 years, STAYING would be the failure to myself. Nothing I have said is an "excuse," as I have nothing to hide from. I like it here at the Academy. Saying is the easier choice in this decision and I know that I'd be able to make it through my time here. Yes, to you, me wanting to leave over a lack of major choices and passion about my future, seems trivial. Maybe you're the type of person who doesn't enjoy learning and just "got through" high school and college to get to the rest of your life. There is nothing wrong with that. But I loved taking classes in high school and I loved learning. I don't think I will find that here at the Academy, which matters to me. Yes, I'm young and I haven't been here very long, but that doesn't mean that I'm stupid. I'm going to stay here until I am 100% sure that this is not the place that will get me to my goals. But if I left, it would not be a failure.
 
bopper said:
I was an electrical engineering major at a civilian university. There were many courses I had to take to learn the breadth of EE that i was most certainly not passionate about. But I enjoy the result of that degree in that i was trained in problem solving and working as a team.
So think about not just "college" but what you will do after.

Be practical...finish the semester (if you are passing.)...consider finishing the year if you do well enough you can transfer.
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I would definitely finish the semester.
 
OP, I would finish out the year. Going a full year would give you time to apply/transfer to other schools, staying on the school year cycle, and a more natural place to make the transition. You'd get the best of both worlds and experience Recognition and fun things your second semester. Graduation parade is sort of fun (for your parents to surf Webguy). Getting out of parade duty is more fun (for you!). Either way, embrace the experience, glass is always half full.

Were you selected to apply for Academy Scholars Program? My DD loves it! It's all that socratic seminar stuff and she said she really likes writing all the papers. She was invited to a Rhoades and Truman information session. Have you considered these, if you are interested in learning? Not everything, not even in a civilian school, will be directly tied to criminal justice.

What you call judgmental, I see as constructive criticism. It's up to you to either ignore advice or see past perceived harsh tones and embrace a full range of opinions/mindsets. Since we don't know you personally, don't take it personally. Why post here at all, if ONLY are interested in opinions that align with yours?

Spend your time setting up meetings with the people that KNOW YOU WELL. That would be your high school principal, GC, E and M teachers, whoever did your 3rd SOE, CFA administrator, coaches, volunteer supervisors, church leaders - everyone that had a hand in getting you to USAFA. It is with those people that you want to have this discussion.
 
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