Spouse at BOLC

[whitneyr3000]

Hey all!

My husband is going to BOLC in January, and I am going with him. (I know there are differing opinions whether spouses should go to BOLC or not, and for my husband and me, we've decided it will be best for me to come.) We will be there on a TDY basis.

As it gets closer, I'm getting nervous about quitting my job and figuring out what I'll be doing with my time while I'm there. Is it possible to get a temporary job while we're there?

Even though it will only be a few months, I need some advice and help on what to do to keep busy.

 

[Jcleppe]

What did your husband Branch?

Has he checked to see if you're allowed to stay with him?

Since this is TDY and not a PCS move, the Army will not pay to have all your household goods moved. He will need to see how that will work if you both move from you're current residence. You don't want to be in a situation where the Army will not move your belongings to his new unit once he finishes BOLC.

Someone will correct me if I'm wrong but I believe he would receive BAH for the location of your current residence while he is at BOLC, I'm not sure how that will be effected if you move with him to his BOLC location since it is a TDY.

 

[NavyHoops]

That is also my understanding. In the Marine Corps, if a spouse decided to tag along to the USMC equivalent of BOLC no one would really care. He would draw his BAH for wherever his previous address was and then draw whatever per diem he rates at BOLC. Not sure how the Army works but for our equivalent of BOLC we live in either BOQs or hotels. Not sure what the expected temp housing is for him, but if you divert from this, that is on you guys and your money to make up the difference. If it is a hotel, not a fun place to live for a few months. Also agree you need to get household goods straightened out, more than likely pack it up and goes to storage until you land at your future permanent residence. There are limits on storage times before you incur costs, ensure that is clear.

It is fine you guys made this decision together, won't try to talk you out of it as its none of my business. Just be aware that he will probably have watch obligations, studying, field time, etc. Not sure on his branch, but field time could go for days to even 2 weeks. Also this is the start of his Army Profession, there will be after class beers and things that he will need and want to do to build a relationship with his peers. These peers are those he will run across in the active duty Army and those relationships can be key as he advances. His command might even do a dining in or formal event. At entry level types of these schools they tend to be not inclusive of spouses as most don't have them or they aren't there, don't expect an exception. Not trying to be Debbie Downer, just aware of what you might face. Keeping busy is key. Finding a job for a few months will be tough. Base spouse clubs and employment offices can be helpful for this. Keep busy with volunteering or other activities. And most importantly best of luck!

 

[jocomom]

Hey all!

My husband is going to BOLC in January, and I am going with him. (I know there are differing opinions whether spouses should go to BOLC or not, and for my husband and me, we've decided it will be best for me to come.) We will be there on a TDY basis.

As it gets closer, I'm getting nervous about quitting my job and figuring out what I'll be doing with my time while I'm there. Is it possible to get a temporary job while we're there?

Even though it will only be a few months, I need some advice and help on what to do to keep busy.

My son is TDY at Benning for IBOLC. Housing is furnished at IHG Army Hotels Abrams Hall. He is never there. He is out overnight in the field for part of nearly every week and will have a multi-week stent in the field in the near future. When he is not in the field, days are very long. IBOLC is only 16 weeks so it would be nearly impossible for a dependent to find a job. Many, many years ago, I followed my spouse to graduate school. It was a two year program and finding a suitable position was a challenge. I had no way to explain away the move other than to admit that I was the trailing spouse. The minute those words left my mouth I became a short-term prospect. My recommendation, steel yourself for being alone.

 

[Capt MJ]

Much more attention is being paid these days to military spouse career and employment challenges. You will probably not find a traditional job short-term, but I have some ideas for you below to explore looking longer term over the years ahead.

The Institute for Veterans and Military Families, at Syracuse U. Good resources, as well as free online courses.
http://vets.syr.edu

Federal civil service. Military spouses get a certain number of points preference. This is a very portable career, as there will be Federal civil service of some kind almost everywhere you go.
www.usajobs.com

Army Community Services (ACS) will be on all sizable Army bases. They will have free classes on applying for Federal jobs (see reference above), very helpful when you are trying to slog through a Federal application, and many other useful courses. ACS will also have job boards, especially with MSEP (Military Spouse Employment Partners). Take a look at all ACS has to offer. All military bases have similar programs, with slightly different names.
http://www.benningmwr.com/a-message-from-acs/

Telework jobs. There are all kinds of these now, and it's not all telemarketing. For example, Tutor.com is a well-established online tutoring company. If you have the right kind of background, and a computer, you can tutor from anywhere.
http://www.tutor.com/apply

http://www.teleworktools.org/index.asp?Type=B_LIST&SEC={6BCA0633-A935-4B29-9C43-CDFF96D68E0D}

http://www.militaryonesource.mil/ed...on-and-career-opportunities?content_id=281008

http://armywife101.com/2013/09/top8placesformilitaryspousestofindworkathomejobs.html

Use search string "military spouse telework" in Google, and all kinds of sites come up from legitimate companies.

As many military spouses who post here will attest (where are you @Pima), you will learn to lead an independent life when your uniformed one is off doing things. The healthiest thing for your relationship is for you to feel like you are contributing to your marriage and continuing to experience personal growth. While you are cheerfully supporting your spouse 100%, you must also look after yourself and what makes you feel happy, energized, fulfilled, confident, etc. One drop of unspoken resentment about having to leave jobs, or dealing with a zig-zaggy career, can be detrimental to your relationship health. Enough said there, that's your business, but it is meant kindly from someone who was both AD and a military spouse, with plenty of craziness along the way.

Hope you get it all sorted out. You will quickly become a pro at all this, and will find support from other military spouses.

 

[Jcc123]

My son is TDY at Benning for IBOLC. Housing is furnished at IHG Army Hotels Abrams Hall. He is never there. He is out overnight in the field for part of nearly every week and will have a multi-week stent in the field in the near future. When he is not in the field, days are very long. IBOLC is only 16 weeks so it would be nearly impossible for a dependent to find a job. Many, many years ago, I followed my spouse to graduate school. It was a two year program and finding a suitable position was a challenge. I had no way to explain away the move other than to admit that I was the trailing spouse. The minute those words left my mouth I became a short-term prospect. My recommendation, steel yourself for being alone.

It sounds like your son is National Guard. If you're active duty, IBOLC is a pcs move and regardless, the entire process takes way longer than 16 weeks. Son was there anout 11 months, including IBOLC, holiday block leave, Ranger school and Airborne school. Also, the Army only furnishes housing to Guard LTs - everyone else is on their own to find a place to live. Several of my son's friends brought their wives, however. It seemed to work out fine.

Edit: I realize OP's husband's BOLC is TDY as well, was just pointing out the difference for AD folks at IBOLC.

 

[NavyHoops]

Good point JCC. If this is a situation where he is only going for a few months and they aren't headed to another duty station after (and its TDY so less than 180 days) that is a totally different situation.

 

[Capt MJ]

Hey all!

My husband is going to BOLC in January, and I am going with him....

Whitneyr, may I suggest you use something other than what looks like a personal photo for your avatar? This is an anonymous opinion forum, not a a FB-type social site (though it is very conversational), for everyone's protection and privacy. If you look around, you won't see many personal photos as avatars.

Best wishes for figuring out Army life!

 

[Pima]

Whitney,

Why is it best for you to go? I am not seeing it right now, especially since you have a job.

I married Bullet at 23. Married on Friday, he left on Sunday for TDY. I left for a good 6 weeks later to meet him at his TDY. I am 51 now, and loved, loved, loved the 21 yrs he was ADAF.
~Something that runs in my family. DS got married on 5/24/14. Honeymoon for a week. She got on a plane to go back to NC, he got on a plane to a different location. 6 weeks later she left NC to meet up with him. They will be having our 1st grandbaby in Nov. Want to know how he found out he was going to be a Dad? Via Skype 7 days after he left for a 6 mos. deployment. Just saying, that this is the military life, and my DS is AF (the corporate/banker/prima donna branch) . He has yet to go to 1 OB apptmt bc the military comes 1st. She built the baby's dresser by herself bc he is TDY again.

My point is, as a spouse that followed her DH around the world for 21 yrs., and had to recreate herself with each move, why do you say it is best for you, when from my position that financially it is worst for you to join him.

I am not trying to be rude, mean or harsh. I am illustrating these points to emphasize why I am asking it is best for me to go. Deployments and TDYs will happen, and alot. I truly get wanting to be with each other, and the two of you are assuming as soon as he gets to his permanent station he may be deployed within 60-90 days. However, as a spouse I am 1000% with Capt MJ. regarding you have to be happy too.
~ I am an AF family. I don't know BOLC. Is he going to leave at 5:00 a.m. for PT and get back home at 5:00 p.m. only to hit the books until 10 for the next days academics?
~ Is he allowed to live off post? If yes, have you looked into how much it will cost per month?
~~ Realistically you can find a job, but not sure financially you will make up the money from TDY pay. TDY pay is paid in arrears. IOWS you pay it out of pocket 1st and they will pay it when you report back to your post. It can be a financial hardship. Same with DLA for a PCS. DLA is move pay to set up your next home. It is intended to pay for all of those deposits (aka water, sewer, electric, gas, etc). If they ALLOW him to live off post, he will not get DLA for the TDY. You will have to pay for the rental deposits, and the utilities. Plus, they will not ship any Household Goods (HHG) to a TDY, and at least for the AF they will not ship from a TDY anything. That means you need to rent a furnished aptmt.

I went with Bullet only 1x in his career when it came to TDYs. Newlywed. No regrets at all. I was one of maybe 4 in a class of 23. Lived in a furnished aptmt. Took me maybe 45 minutes to clean it, add 45 minutes to prep dinner. I was left with 6-9 hrs to kill until he came home. I became a pro at Tetris. I became so bored that I went to MWR and learned how to not only frame pictures, but woodworking. I would go to the commissary daily for ingredients for that nights dinner

If you decide to go, than look into being a sub teacher on post or the county. Look into volunteering with Family Support/Resource, thrift shop, etc. Look into getting an advanced degree.
~ I have a Master degree. The AF paid 75% since I was a spouse. It was a base (post) program where I applied every semester. Bullet did not have to sign on for a longer commitment. I went to the education office on base and they walked me through it.
~ I do not see you getting any "career position" while he is at BOLC. It is just not to the advantage of any employer to hire you on for 2 or 3 months. Hence, look into being a sub at the schools. Being a sub also gets you out of the house.
~ Volunteering will also be positive bc to them you did not sit at home for the last 180 days. You worked without pay. You gave back to the community. You have a new insight.

I wish you luck and hope that you will love this life like I did.

I also agree with Capt MJ change not only your avatar, but also your name. This is not a private setting site like FB. We all see it. I don't think it is a biggie for you compared to an ROTC scholarship candidate, but still not somewhere I would post a pic like that. I think my closest pic compared towards yours was my DS and Bullet from a profile angle.

 

[ENwifeArmyMom]

Hey all!

My husband is going to BOLC in January, and I am going with him. (I know there are differing opinions whether spouses should go to BOLC or not, and for my husband and me, we've decided it will be best for me to come.) We will be there on a TDY basis.

First, CONGRATULATIONS!! I married at 22, my husband was active duty Army for 22 years! This is a wonderful, amazing life you have in front of you!
Second, everyone's marriage works differently. If it is better for you to go, then go and have a great time! I hope every future CMDR will tell your husband that one of the greatest achievements in an Army career is balance. Balancing career, marriage, faith, children and whatever is left!
Third, if you look hard enough you can find a job, even short term. I was a young college graduate still "looking for the right job" and I babysat. I loved it! Or take a class at the local college, or volunteer at the local library, hospital or elementary school. Omg you could take a cooking class, so much fun!!! There is always something, somewhere! Most important, keep busy!
The busier you are the happier you will be and make as many friends as you can. Have as much fun as you can, life is short!! I'm so excited for you!!