The Law Enforcement Officer (LEO) thread - Post the funny stuff, please!

THParent

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I am not a LEO, but I know a few and they have a pretty difficult job now more than ever because it's considered fair in some circles to characterize them all as power-crazed thugs. What I do know about them is that they have some pretty funny stories from their years on the Job, trying to serve and protect us. I'll start off with this one...

It's not easy being a Sheriff's Deputy in California. This guy exercises a lot of restraint, however. I think that I would have found it hard not to burst out laughing, to be perfectly honest :

Wasn't San Dimas where Bill & Ted began their Excellent Adventure?
 
I saw this the other night. Can't credit this officer enough. Just imagine if this woman had someone attempting to break into her home. Who will be the first # she calls? Of course it will be 911. And of course the police will show up and do their jobs.
 
I have a cop story. I've had a handful of police encounters in the last few years and the force to which I pay into salaries is made up of professional and courteous officers. Even, no, especially when I got my last ticket. My development has community mail boxes and mine is just three doors away. One afternoon Buster and I stopped to get the mail. I was expecting very important correspondence from the VA and it was in the stack of ads and solicitations. Yeessss. I closed the little mail box door and the kid from the house closest to the mail box ran out of his front door and their dog Ollie came running out as well.

Ollie ran straight for Buster and started to mix it up. They barked and snipped and I was stuck in the middle. I was wearing flip-flops and ended up with paw nail scratches on my feet and burns on my right wrist from the nylon leash. Out ran the woman of the house and tried pulling off her dog. She couldn't do it. Ollie was much younger and getting the best of my dog. I carry pepper spray on dog walks and gave Ollie a face full of oleoresin capsicum. He ran off squealing and crying. The woman, who I didn't know was pregnant, started cussen me and calling my mom names. I was somehow still holding our mail and she grabbed the stack and ripped it in half and threw it on the ground. She then stood up next to me and I stared down at her. She said, "Come on. Hit me. Hit me you <bad name about my mom> hit me. She was well-rehearsed in that skit, believe me.

"I'm calling the cops," she said. I said, go ahead. I'll be standing right here. By then my wife had come out and surprisingly took the dog inside whereas she usually gets into the fray. Pregnant woman's husband came out and she went to their porch and cried. I told him the story and pointed to the torn mail and informed him she had committed a federal offense. The police showed up and I walked with one officer to my house and another stayed with Mrs. Rocky Balboa. The department recruits heavily from the Marine base and my chances of having a Marine interview me were huge. He was, and we swapped sea stories and he checked out my injuries which ended up not being serious but looked bad at the time. He looked at Buster to see if any skin was broken. It was not. The two cops got together and both came back and asked if I wanted to press charges. I told him I didn't want to send a pregnant woman to jail and to just relay to them I wanted to be left alone to the point of not even looking at me when we meet in the street or around the neighborhood. He said Roger That and that pretty much wraps up the story.
 
In my mind the best cop stories are the smallest ones that illuminate the real reason these folks chose that life. Getting shot or catching Dillinger very rarely happens, but every day, all over the world, moments of kindness, fortitude, humor and patience form the real image of law enforcement. But yeah, the funny stories can be really funny.
 
I'm not sure if this story is true or not, but I've heard enough versions of it...

LBJ was pulled over for speeding in TX right after he left office. He was driving by himself on some back roads near his ranch. When he rolled down his window, the officer recognized him and said, "Oh my God!"

LBJ looked at him and said, "You got that right." And promptly sped off....
 
My mom has a good friend who's a Sergeant, calling her Sarge for the sake of the story.

Mom took my little sister, at the time she was 5, down to the police station to drop something off to Sarge. My sister was obsessed with Dora the Explorer, and was asking Sarge if she's ever arrested Swiper the Fox.

Fast forward a couple weeks later, at a event where they have a police car on display, Sarge took my little sister over to the car and in the backseat, was a Swiper the Fox stuffed animal, handcuffed to the seat.

That made my day.
 
I’ve got a story for y’all (ironically approaching the 20th year of 9/11/01 anniversary) #NeverForget

In 2001, police attended a memorial service for a veteran and highly decorated FDNY firefighter (RIP) lost and still unrecovered at the WTC, along with so many other unfortunate and innocent souls.

On the long, silent car ride back to Manhattan from the memorial, one of the officers spotted a possible jumper on a passing highway overpass. The vehicle of officers, in the funeral dress uniforms, pulled over on the highway shoulder, and ran upwards to the female (20s) who was readying herself to jump onto the highway below, Needless to say, the officers, spoke to her calmly, and distracted her, while the other officers ran up and grabbed hold of her.

The officers called for an ambulance and the local authorities, and once the young lady (bursting in tears) was safe and on her way to receive necessary treatment, the officers entered their vehicle (down below on the highway) and drove off anonymously.


There are amazing police officers, firefighters, military personnel, medical staff, educators, common men and women, etc that make this country the greatest ! We need to use social media much better and promote all the goodness that we live amongst.
 
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I had two dogs as a kid and two as an older kid. My current dog is very undisciplined and does the opposite of what I say. Before him we had a German Shepherd who basically trained us. Very smart. The dog. Not us.

Anyway, I love working dogs and I linked one of my favorites. Mattis is a recently retired police dog and is as cool as they come. Just don't run from him.

 
My Grandfather was a Captain in the NYPD. When I was a bout eight he took me to the station house one day. He walked me down stairs and put me in a cell. He closed the door and told me "Don't get used to it".

My uncle was a sgt. in the NYPD. He had a habitual that he had told never to come back to the neighborhood. So the guy is back and tells him he can't do anything about it. As the guy is getting into his car my uncle tells him I will cite you before you get two feet. The guy laughs and gets in his car and begins to move. Cited for failure to signal when leaving the curb.

Late at night and brother in law stops an obvious drunk driver. While approaching the car he gets an emergency call over the radio. He tells the driver give me your keys. He takes the keys and throws them as far as he could into the woods. He told me Hey I knew he wasn't going anywhere that night.

Another brother in law and my wife are in his cruiser going to pick up a new TV for our house. A guy in a pickup pulls over gets out and runs into traffic on the interstate. Off duty brother in law stops and grabs the guy and drags him toward his cruiser. The guy decides he still wants to commit suicide in traffic. They are rolling across the hood of the cruiser and down the embankment all the while my brother in law is yelling to my wife "get my cuffs" but he forgot to tell her they were on the brake handle. They are still struggling in the grass when another guy gets out of the passenger side. My 5'2" wife gets out of the cruiser and in her best teacher not pleased voice says "get back in the truck" and he did. Backup soon arrived.
 
I've been a Police Officer for 26 years and have had experiences that run the gamut from knee slapping funny to heart wrenching. Unfortunately the funniest stories I could tell would cause you to look at me like I'm a warped lunatic. Although the job it especially hard these days, I still wouldn't trade it for anything. It is a calling and a passion.

DW has been a Registered Nurse for the same amount of time. We both started our first jobs when we got back from our honeymoon. It is her calling and passion too; and she's damn good at it. If you are in the hospital, you would be lucky to have her as your nurse.

This year Nurses Week and Police week overlap. It is a special week for me.

polie and Nurse.JPG
 
Boston Police story from the late 1980s - early 1990s time frame.

Police chase ends with suspect wrecking his car and running away, down a dead end alley. From behind a dumpster he fires his gun at a chasing Boston cop, hitting him in the right had. Cop retrieves his weapon with his non-shooting left hand, returning fire. Suspect attempts to surrender, tossing his gun out in front of the dumpster. Boston cop continues to shoot wildly, not being a lefty. He reloads a couple of times and keeps shooting. Suspect yells "I give up! Stop shooting!" Cop responds, "You shot me in the hand and I'm not stopping until I shoot you in your hand, you SOB!"
 
I've been a Police Officer for 26 years and have had experiences that run the gamut from knee slapping funny to heart wrenching. Unfortunately the funniest stories I could tell would cause you to look at me like I'm a warped lunatic. Although the job it especially hard these days, I still wouldn't trade it for anything. It is a calling and a passion.

DW has been a Registered Nurse for the same amount of time. We both started our first jobs when we got back from our honeymoon. It is her calling and passion too; and she's damn good at it. If you are in the hospital, you would be lucky to have her as your nurse.

This year Nurses Week and Police week overlap. It is a special week for me.

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Bless you both sir.
 
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