Turned down Navy Pilot slot

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startswithJ

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I have been lurking on this site for a year or so, so I have some idea how this thread may go but I wanted to put it out there anyway.

January 2022 I was informed that I had been selected to be a pilot in the navy. This was something I had wanted to do my whole life (I’m 27 right now) I was excited at first. But I was having some doubts, I work as a civilian engineer for the Navy currently (have since college) and I mostly like life, but, flying planes for the navy (and hopefully jets) is still something I want to do. I got an OCS date for October, I needed to put in my two weeks at my job and start packing my things. I didn’t do it, I asked for a roll out on the OCS date. I was granted an extension till January 2023. Great, more time to stress about the decision. During this time I was in constant mental turmoil, give up a life I was comfortable (but not completely happy with) or pursue something that I had always wanted to do (a big caveat is that I did not think I would be happy if I didn’t select for Jets). I planned a trip to Japan with friends that overlapped my ship date to OCS it was getting even harder to make going to OCS make sense. My girlfriend was a mess because she wasn’t sure if I was leaving or not. I was a mess because I didn’t know what to do.

In the end I waited until the two week deadline to quit my civilian job passed. I was forced to sign a declination letter for OCS. My recruiter tried to talk me out of it, it was the hardest decision I ever made to decline. The recruiter kept saying he thought I was making the wrong choice.

It’s been a month now, he was right.

I reached out to him to see what I could do, he said that unfortunately at this time there was no path back into the Navy.

I have been depressed and constantly frustrated with myself for not going to OCS and getting over the fear of giving up my comfortable life.

I have considered trying to apply to the Marine or Air Force pilot programs.

Does anyone have any words of advice or know if there is really no way to get back into the Navy OCS pipeline?
 
No advice for getting back into the pipeline. But mom advice/life advice. First off, don‘t beat yourself up. You were not ready, or you would have jumped in with both feet, the first time. You actually passed on moving forward twice. I think that is impactful. And a pilot who isn't ready, isn't a good idea imo. Absent finding a way back into the pipeline, it’s time to find joy where you are! Joy, and happiness, are two different things. We may not be happy doing something….but we can find joy. By appreciating what you do have: in your case, you friends, job, GF, and comfortable life! Which, BTW, are all things that most people strive for in their lives.

You may ultimately have been looking back, and wishing you HAD NOT given up your comfortable life, as a pilot somewhere. You just never know. Deal with the hand you have been dealt, in the here and now, and find your joy. Because it sounds like it’s there. BTW, constantly searching for something else, or something better, will drive a person batty. If you were mine, i would say to be focus on your life now, and put you energy into being the best xxx at your career that you said you are ’mostly happy with’, and soar….be open to that journey. And accept that being a Navy pilot wasn’t in your plan. But other, amazing things, are. If you let them.

Best wishes! And if flying is your dream, you can also do that recreationally.
 
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You turned down a life changing opportunity because you had a vacation planned. Military service is not for everyone. And your comment about not being happy if you didn't get jets? I think you made the right choice.
 
A wise boss of mine once told me not making a decision or delaying a decision, is a decision.

Your actions speak louder than your words; your actions consistently pushed executing your orders down the road. And that’s okay. Something held you back from committing 100%. Maybe you can’t articulate that clearly to yourself right now, but in many small ways and large ways, you showed you didn’t want this right now. Perhaps you wanted the end result - Navy pilot - but balked at the years to get to that point, as well as the service obligation after. You made conscious choices and prioritized other things over a set of orders to OCS and a Navy pilot slot.

Navy OCS is directly driven by needs of the Navy. Your spot was likely filled by someone ready to go and get on with it. The Navy has decided it gave you enough chances and has moved on.
 
Above post is candidly more refined/ articulate /focused but I'll post mine anyway in case it may help.

OK, very respectfully and constructively, I’ll point out this - to get through OCS and Pensacola, regardless of airframe, typically one can observe in those trainees/ new officers a tangible grit/ determination – they WILL meet their goal, shore up their gaps, and make it. Their certainly of wanting to fly and to serve is pinned solid on “YES”, and not wavering. Their resolve is indefatigable. It’s who they are at-core, and that inner drive propels them through the challenges, aches/pains, through the next phases of training, and beyond where they thought their limits were when they signed up. I don’t “see” that resolve in your descriptions – I see doubt, inconvenience, conditional interest (if and only if I get to fly jets),and when the rubber met the road you didn’t dive in but pulled back. If you’re asking for feedback – I think you at least a month ago weren’t ready, and recommend you have a good chat with the person you see in the mirror, and decide if you want to amp-up your commitment/resolve to be “all-in”, or move on. Sounds like the door to your navy dream opportunity has closed since you burned that bridge in the way you waffled/ handled that – why don’t you call an Air Force OCS recruiter and explore your options if that’s what you want *after aligning with yourself if you’re committed to do it. Good luck to you.
 
I’m a Navy OCS grad. Right out of college. I made my decision in the early spring, when I fortuitously ran into OCS recruiters visiting the campus. I had been internally waffling about grad school. I realized I had places to go, people to meet, things to do, and as one of my supportive profs put it (he was an Army vet), “You can always go to grad school, and you know I and Dr. F (another adviser, also a vet) will help you do that if you want, after you complete your service obligation. The Navy will be the making of you.” I certainly had moments of sweaty armpits, knowing I was committing a significant chunk of my life and not knowing where I would end up. I broke up with my “comfortable” and very nice, but astonished boyfriend, shocked the profs who thought I was headed to grad school on a fellowship, surprised my parents, who were supportive but slightly bewildered. I liked the idea of service, learning new things, being challenged to be a leader, and of course, all things related to the ocean, which I had grown up seeing every day. I felt absolutely right about signing the papers and going, leaving a familiar world behind. Either you are willing to do that, understanding there will be massive change in your life, or you’re not. I had returned from an academic period abroad in my junior year, and as I look back, that’s when the urge kicked in about “places to go, people to meet, things to do” kicked in. I had had a glimpse of other cultures and realized there was a world out there I wanted to explore.

You have to know that leaps of faith can scare the pants off you sometimes, but you have to have confidence in yourself you will figure it out. There has to be something driving you that will make you willing to put your current life aside. And - it is absolutely okay if you realize that perhaps you didn’t want it enough. I think all humans have dreams we have to retire.

No regrets. 26 years.

P.S. I’m researching expedition ship cruises to the Antarctic right now. Places to go…
 
Capt MJ said:
A wise boss of mine once told me not making a decision or delaying a decision, is a decision.

Your actions speak louder than your words; your actions consistently pushed executing your orders down the road. And that’s okay. Something held you back from committing 100%. Maybe you can’t articulate that clearly to yourself right now, but in many small ways and large ways, you showed you didn’t want this right now. Perhaps you wanted the end result - Navy pilot - but balked at the years to get to that point, as well as the service obligation after. You made conscious choices and prioritized other things over a set of orders to OCS and a Navy pilot slot.

Navy OCS is directly driven by needs of the Navy. Your spot was likely filled by someone ready to go and get on with it. The Navy has decided it gave you enough chances and has moved on.
Click to expand...
Must have been a Rush fan - "If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice". Lyric from their song appropriately named "Freewill"
 
8th Wing Refugee said:
Must have been a Rush fan - "If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice". Lyric from their song appropriately named "Freewill"
Click to expand...

It’s definitely not a new concept. I paraphrased my admiral boss. I’ll have to go find the song.
 
Sometimes you make decisions in life that you regret at the time. Hopefully they are decisions that help define you in a positive way and, in later years, you can view them more as crossroads than regrettable decisions.
If you want to fly, then fly. Don’t let a GF who may, or may not stick by you decide this for you. I almost did this, and started out on a path that was making me miserable. She’s long gone, but the flying is still there and very enjoyable.
There are options to becoming a military pilot. You mentioned AF and Marines. Also look at the Air Guard and Air Force reserves.
Not jets, but there is the Army as well, commissioned and warrant route.
I’m not sure how many Coast Guard OCS slots there are, but check there as well.
Good luck.
 
You want to have your cake and eat it too...totally get it. Explore the Air Guard. Active duty life is not for you - flying is a very small part of the job and requires 100% unwavering commitment just to get through training. The grass will always be greener and you made the right decision for you...on active duty you would have been miserable with the lifestyle and been looking for the nearest exit.
 
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