Chockstock
You've gotten some great responses here. Pima always hits the nail on the head (except when she bashes the Army life
). I am married to a retired Army officer. I met him when we were in college. He was ROTC and I didn't realize it at the time. My Dad was Army enlisted when I was little and got out because my Mom didn't like the lifestyle. He went back into the Reserves when I was in high school and stayed to retirement. So I knew a little about bit about the Army. I always swore I would NEVER marry a man in the Army. Ooops! But I went in with my eyes wide open and a bug in my ear from Dad that if the Army wanted him to have a wife, they'd have issued him one with the duffle bag. I don't regret any of it! It wasn't always fun and there were times I was unhappy. But I learned something and grew from each of the bad times. I've seen plenty of civilians go through bad times too. That's life. I've learned that you play the cards you are dealt and make the best of it.
As for worrying about your spouse's career, that is not limited to folks in the military. It is a given these days for any couple. Our son is about to graduate from college. His girl friend attends a college about an hour away from his school. She is also graduating. That means they are both embarking on some serious job searching. They're not ready to commit to marriage. So what are the odds that they'll both find jobs near to each other? DS has already had to reconsider his plans for entering the Peace Corps because of the relationship.
As you've probably gathered, DS is not the reason for my screen name. That's our DD. The little traitor is now in the Navy reserve.
What Pima said about one day joking about the sister service and the next praising and supporting them is very true. At one point in our Army career, we moved 4 times in 5 years. In the midst of that, we made the decision to homeschool. It gave the kids continuity for their studies. But they were always involved in Boy and Girl Scouts (or Girl Guides when we lived in Canada for 2 years.) There were always organizations they joined. DS learned curling while we were in Canada, a sport he continues to enjoy and that he was able to participate in here in Belgium. DD danced for years. How many kids would whine "Do I
have to go to Paris again when Grandma comes to visit?"
Don't ask them to list the number of countries they have visited! There aren't many in Europe they've missed. They call themselves spoiled!
My husband's career was never on the fast track. Sometimes I thought he spent too much time looking after his soldiers and he was known to stand up to superior officers in defense of his soldiers. I think he made the better choice. But it meant he was never going to advance beyond Lt. Col. So be it. We had some really fun assignments. In the end, we were able to stay in one place for the kids to finish high school where they started. The Army let DH extend a year for DS to finish. Then he chose to retire and take a civilian job here so DD could also finish. At one point they even asked him to come back onto Active Duty. But he decided it wasn't fun any more, so he turned that offer down.
Yes, there are stresses and deployments. Yes, we moved a lot. But we also got a lot out of the experience. My career aspirations went on hold. But it worked out for the best because I finally realized what I really want to do as a profession and have started back to school. Maybe it will soon be his turn to follow me around now. I know folks in their mid-40s sound old to you, but we're easily young enough to start again - and that retirement pay makes I nice cushion.
Oh, on promotions, through O-3 they are pretty much automatic by time in grade. Then you go before promotion boards based your year group. They look at schooling - both military and civilian, evaluations, jobs, assignments, etc. when choosing who to promote. You will be reviewed multiple times for promotion. My husband was always selected within the zone - at the average time. What didn't happen was selection for on site schools and a combat arms battalion command. It actually freed him up to take some fun assignments. The retirement pay is a bit less (OK, it does add up to a lot over time), but we live quite comfortably and he had a job he loved.
Best of luck as you make your choices!
Thread is bookmarked. I feel better now...