Unexpected appointment to USNA

[nxioususer]

Son has a decision letter on USNA portal saying he is guaranteed an appointment to USNA. He is a well rounded kid, varsity athlete but not Div 1 material. SAT > 1500. Awesome community service record.

Dad was the main driver in his decision to apply for USNA. We are Asian immigrants and don't have any connections to the service academies or the military.

In my mind and his, through out the process, we thought that the chances of him getting nominated were extremely remote. He had clearly done his research and given it his best shot. I had not even bothered to research USNA till the day the LOA arrived a week ago. I still don't know all the abbreviations used in many of the posts on this site . I thought the LOA letter was no big deal because it says he will get an appointment only if he gets a nomination. Well, two days later his portal says he has a nomination! Only today, I found the other candidate portal where the decision has been posted.

Needless to say, when the LOA and nomination came through, Dad was ecstatic but myself and son were in shock!

For the past week I have been reading all I can about USNA. Website, Youtube.. and anything else I can get my hands on. I know he has been reaching out to whoever he can as well to gain more insights into life in and after the service academies..

Son has acceptances from State universities that we can afford to help him with so he won't have loans if he decides to stay in the civilian life..

We are extremely proud of our son for giving his best shot and getting this chance to go to USNA. I just don't know what to advise him. He clearly put in the hard work necessary to get to this point. I don't think he expected this to actually come to fruition. But he is now torn on whether to accept this impending appointment. He has not said he does not want to go. He is just not sure.
I have told him not to choose USNA for the full scholarship or just because Dad wants him to. But other than this, I don't know what to say to help him make
the right decision for him. I have seen videos on a day in the life of a plebe, and so many more videos where the kids look mostly happy to be there and serve the country later. Any advice or words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated!

 

[Don't Give Up the Ship]

Son has a decision letter on USNA portal saying he is guaranteed an appointment to USNA. He is a well rounded kid, varsity athlete but not Div 1 material. SAT > 1500. Awesome community service record.

Dad was the main driver in his decision to apply for USNA. We are Asian immigrants and don't have any connections to the service academies or the military.

In my mind and his, through out the process, we thought that the chances of him getting nominated were extremely remote. He had clearly done his research and given it his best shot. I had not even bothered to research USNA till the day the LOA arrived a week ago. I still don't know all the abbreviations used in many of the posts on this site . I thought the LOA letter was no big deal because it says he will get an appointment only if he gets a nomination. Well, two days later his portal says he has a nomination! Only today, I found the other candidate portal where the decision has been posted.

Needless to say, when the LOA and nomination came through, Dad was ecstatic but myself and son were in shock!

For the past week I have been reading all I can about USNA. Website, Youtube.. and anything else I can get my hands on. I know he has been reaching out to whoever he can as well to gain more insights into life in and after the service academies..

Son has acceptances from State universities that we can afford to help him with so he won't have loans if he decides to stay in the civilian life..

We are extremely proud of our son for giving his best shot and getting this chance to go to USNA. I just don't know what to advise him. He clearly put in the hard work necessary to get to this point. I don't think he expected this to actually come to fruition. But he is now torn on whether to accept this impending appointment. He has not said he does not want to go. He is just not sure.
I have told him not to choose USNA for the full scholarship or just because Dad wants him to. But other than this, I don't know what to say to help him make
the right decision for him. I have seen videos on a day in the life of a plebe, and so many more videos where the kids look mostly happy to be there and serve the country later. Any advice or words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated!

This is a tough one. Generally, it's best for people to attend a SA ONLY if they really want it. It appears that Dad and finances may have an undue influence on your DS. He must decide for his own reasons. Success at a SA is difficult in the base case, being at USNA for the wrong reason can be a huge mistake. Good luck with letting your son make the decision that is right for him. In either case, it sounds like he will be successful.

 

[OfficerToBe750]

Well, you've come to the right place. I am relatively new to this board, so while I don't have advice for you, others here will. That's one thing I have to say for the people on this board, they have a wealth of knowledge and can be so thoughtful in sharing it with others. I save many of these threads just so I can reference the advice in the future. Good luck and congratulations to you and your DS.

 

[Skipper07]

If your son PM's me on the forums I will answer any questions he has without sugarcoating. I'm not always super active on here, but I seem to have had some extra time on my hands this week.

 

[THParent]

If he wants to be an officer in the Navy or Marine Corps, it will be an exceptional opportunity. Does he have a strong desire to serve, or is it just Dad's idea?

If it's the latter, he needs to have a heart-to-heart with Dad.

 

[MidCakePa]

You seem to be doing the right thing, by leaving the decision to him and letting him know that if he pursues USNA, it should be for himself and not for anyone else. Help him see all sides of the equation, but let him make the final call. It does start with the basic question of whether he's committed to becoming a commissioned officer. From there, does he support the Navy's mission? From there, is he ready and willing to pursue arguably the most challenging path to butter bars. If all affirmative, then go, go, go!

Those who drop out during plebe year -- and yes, even plebe summer -- for the most part never wanted to be there. They were trying to please others, whether it was parents, grandparents, teachers, etc. Once there, and they saw what it entailed and realized it wasn't a path they genuinely wanted, they were miserable.

Yes, watching videos and reading articles is very helpful. They provide a good snapshot. But they're just that: a moment in time, often through a public-affairs lens. Suggest you have your son do two things: (1) Go back and read his application essays. Do they still genuinely apply, ring true, pass the BS test? (2) Seek out Naval officers and veterans, and USNA alumni and mids. The BGO should be able to help with this. Ask them about their experiences, good and bad, from I-Day until the day they resigned their commission.

And then remember: If the heart says go but the head still isn't sure, or vice-versa, he gets two years to try it out and decide if it's really for him. If it is, wonderful. If not, no worries. Many have left before 2-for-7 signing and gone on to outstanding careers and lives.

 

[THParent]

If he wants to go to a civilian college, that's fine. It's a whole lot better if he is undecided about becoming an officer in the military. He could go through college and change his mind then. After college has started, he could switch to ROTC. After he gets a degree, he could decide to go through Officer Candidate School. He could also decide that civilian life is the better option. Much more flexibility there.

All of you can be proud of him and humbled by the fact that of say 20,000 or so applicants, he was selected to be one of a class of only 1,100 Midshipmen. Not only that, but LOAs are very few and far between. Only (approximately) 1 in 10 of those incoming Midshipmen (about 110) are selected for an LOA. That in itself is an achievement of which to be proud.

 

[Old Navy BGO]

Dad was the main driver in his decision to apply for USNA

We are extremely proud of our son for giving his best shot and getting this chance to go to USNA. I just don't know what to advise him. He clearly put in the hard work necessary to get to this point. I don't think he expected this to actually come to fruition. But he is now torn on whether to accept this impending appointment. He has not said he does not want to go. He is just not sure.

Why did he apply ? Did he apply because of pressure from Dad ? Because of the prestige of getting accepted ? Because free tuition ? I can assure you, none of those reasons seems so good in the heart of Plebe Summer, or during what will be a very long 4 years if he doesn't truly want to be there.

My advice ... back off and let him make his own decision. Be supportive, and if let him know that he is free to make his own decision, no judgment.

Does he have a strong desire to serve?

^ This is the key question. Attending USNA isn't "going to college." The mission of USNA is to produce Navy and Marine Corps Officers. It is not fair to the young men and women in our Navy and Marine Corps to commission Officers who aren't committed to serving.

 

[Givvit90]

I'll give you a different perspective than most on here. I applied to USAFA 35 years ago on my father's advice. I received an appointment and decided there was no harm in giving it a shot (I could always leave for a "State" school in the first 2 years). I never had a desire to be an officer in the military. In fact, the mission of USAFA is to organize, train, and equip cadets to become career officers. When I saw that, I thought no way; I'll do my 7 years and go to the airlines. Long story, short. I enjoyed my time at USAFA, spent 24 years as an officer, met my wife in the AF, and have 2 sons in the AF. I couldn't have asked for a better path. I just didn't know it when I was 17 years old!

I know several people that went to a SA because of their parents and left. However, I also know several people that were gung ho military and left. IMHO, the rewards of going there far outweigh the risk of giving it a try. Best of luck with your decision!

 

[Heatherg21]

Congrats to your son. A big accomplishment he and you should be proud of regardless of his decision. Our DS is currently at USNA as a plebe. Feel free to PM me and I can put your DS and mine together via email for a Q and A if you would like. No matter how shiny and revered USNA is, my personal opinion is that if you don't ultimately want to serve as a commissioned officer and live the life of one, it would be a mistake to attend. Granted as others mentioned, you can try it out and not sign the 2 for 7. But ultimately, a desire to serve as a commissioned officer should lead the decision making.

 

[HCopter]

Congratulations!!

For your DS, I highly suggest he reach out and speak with BGO, current Cadets, alumni. Since he is an appointee, it puts him immediately into a different category and he can now get unfiltered, This-is-How-it-Really-is discussions. My DD had her BEST telephone calls AFTER she received her appointments, after that elephant-in-the-room of "Am I going to get appointed?" was out of the way, and there was no shortage of her mentors finding past candidates, now current Mids/Cadets/alumni to "tell her how it really is". The SAME goes for you - reach out the the local parents group, and if you don't have one, reach out the nearest and largest group to speak with other parents for the Parent Perspective (for USAFA, that would be the Colorado parents group if you don't have a local and/or active group).

Do what @Heatherg21 says! Reach out! She is also a teacher/educator, probably has seen every variation of student...and parent! She knows her stuff!!!

 

[A1Janitor]

Congratulations. Your family should be very proud.

Help guide him to make his own decision. I suspect he will be successful no matter what path he chooses.

 

[NextGen89x2]

Congrats to your son! As a family of 2 USNA grads, it sounds like you are doing the right thing to let him learn and make his own decision. It is an incredible opportunity, but not a normal college experience. Encourage him to reach out to local parents' groups and alumni groups. Talking to younger alumni in particular, might be really helpful. Good Luck!

 

[nxioususer]

If your son PM's me on the forums I will answer any questions he has without sugarcoating. I'm not always super active on here, but I seem to have had some extra time on my hands this week.

Thank you for your response! Will reach out as soon as I hit the 5 posts milestone to send a private message

 

[nxioususer]

Congrats to your son. A big accomplishment he and you should be proud of regardless of his decision. Our DS is currently at USNA as a plebe. Feel free to PM me and I can put your DS and mine together via email for a Q and A if you would like. No matter how shiny and revered USNA is, my personal opinion is that if you don't ultimately want to serve as a commissioned officer and live the life of one, it would be a mistake to attend. Granted as others mentioned, you can try it out and not sign the 2 for 7. But ultimately, a desire to serve as a commissioned officer should lead the decision making.

Thank you for your response and kindly agreeing to connect my son with yours. Will reach out asap.

 

[nxioususer]

Congratulations!!

For your DS, I highly suggest he reach out and speak with BGO, current Cadets, alumni. Since he is an appointee, it puts him immediately into a different category and he can now get unfiltered, This-is-How-it-Really-is discussions. My DD had her BEST telephone calls AFTER she received her appointments, after that elephant-in-the-room of "Am I going to get appointed?" was out of the way, and there was no shortage of her mentors finding past candidates, now current Mids/Cadets/alumni to "tell her how it really is". The SAME goes for you - reach out the the local parents group, and if you don't have one, reach out the nearest and largest group to speak with other parents for the Parent Perspective (for USAFA, that would be the Colorado parents group if you don't have a local and/or active group).

Do what @Heatherg21 says! Reach out! She is also a teacher/educator, probably has seen every variation of student...and parent! She knows her stuff!!!

Thank you for your response. Will research local or near by parent groups as you suggested,.

 

[nxioususer]

Why did he apply ? Did he apply because of pressure from Dad ? Because of the prestige of getting accepted ? Because free tuition ? I can assure you, none of those reasons seems so good in the heart of Plebe Summer, or during what will be a very long 4 years if he doesn't truly want to be there.

My advice ... back off and let him make his own decision. Be supportive, and if let him know that he is free to make his own decision, no judgment.

^ This is the key question. Attending USNA isn't "going to college." The mission of USNA is to produce Navy and Marine Corps Officers. It is not fair to the young men and women in our Navy and Marine Corps to commission Officers who aren't committed to serving.

Thank you for your response. All good probing questions for him to ponder over as he makes his decision.

 

[Dr. Strange Love]

... Any advice or words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated!

.

 

[Personal Organizer]

When my friend's son got his appointment last year, she made him wait 2 weeks before committing. His parents are borderline anti-military but highly supportive of their son. He talked to a lot of different people concerning USNA during the application process and after getting the appointment. At exactly 2 weeks he accepted the appointment, is there now and in spite of all the Covid stuff, he plans on going all the way. It was NSS that caused him to pursue USNA in the first place, students there are definitely his peer group. My son is keeping his fingers crossed for an academy appointment but plans on going ROTC (N or AF, he hasn't told me which) at our state university if he doesn't get in. He really wants to be an officer in either the AF (first choice I think???) or Navy.

 

[nxioususer]

When my friend's son got his appointment last year, she made him wait 2 weeks before committing. His parents are borderline anti-military but highly supportive of their son. He talked to a lot of different people concerning USNA during the application process and after getting the appointment. At exactly 2 weeks he accepted the appointment, is there now and in spite of all the Covid stuff, he plans on going all the way. It was NSS that caused him to pursue USNA in the first place, students there are definitely his peer group. My son is keeping his fingers crossed for an academy appointment but plans on going ROTC (N or AF, he hasn't told me which) at our state university if he doesn't get in. He really wants to be an officer in either the AF (first choice I think???) or Navy.

Thank you. Is NSS the summer seminar? Son did attend the online version of it last summer. I was truly hoping he could've gotten a chance to attend an in-person camp so that could've given him an idea of what to expect at USNA.