Venting about parents on FB

[Boozebin]

Man soooo many post I want to respond to so sorry for the long post from me in advance!

Boozebin, I know you started this thread based on the AP test "waste" the parent complained about, but come on, what about the mom who got a call on Doolie Day Out about her DS losing his retainer and the mom wanting to know how he could get out of Jack's Valley to go to an orthodontist and get a new one? I thought the responses were surprisingly very kind but predict a very LONG 4 years for that mom.

I saw that FB post as well! But since I've learned so much from this thread I laughed and moved on! But to be totally honest my fingers did twitch to post something helpful mind you, not condescending, basically saying he'll figure it out with cadre just give them time.

Were you around for the "got to do something about boxing because it is unsafe petition" that some parents pushed because they heard of another kid getting and/or their kid got a concussion during boxing? Eventually, a letter regarding boxing, its purpose and how it is run was distributed via news letters and parent groups. I can't remember if this response was from General Johnson or Williams.

I was not around for that one! If I remember right your cadet is a C3C now so mine was in Prep when that happened so I might have missed that one! That would have gotten under my skin because I box!! And taught my son how to box at an early age. If fact he got old enough and big enough to do a little damage and we were sparring and he hit hard. I went into full boxing mode hit him back just as hard. Then he went into full boxing mode and my wife (his step-mom) had to break us up and told us we couldn't spar any more. I'd hate to box him now he'd more than likely lay me out if I didn't box smart.

On top of that my DS had got a concussion at BCT playing handball maybe I should start a petition

I relayed this story in a thread on this board regarding Helicopter Parents a few years ago and was chastised for being one of the worse Helicopter parents because I messed with his orders. I only bring this up because there are times when you may be able to help that doesn't cross any lines. To be honest this is something I would have done for anyone, had nothing to do with being a helicopter parent. Had we waited and not called they said they would not have been able to get him back to school by air, it is a small college town. Once he commissioned we were out of the loop completely, heck we barely know when and where he's going anywhere and he's on his own if anything is messed up.

To be honest I'm glad we never had a parents group or facebook page, it was much better to just hear it from our son, give what little advice we could and wish him luck. I must say though that some of the stories he would tell us would make us either laugh or simply shake our heads, but we always understood there was nothing we could or should do about it. In the end, most of the best stories came from being in the Fraternity.

Jcleppe makes an excellent point. There is a huge grey area when it comes to helo parents. I wouldn't consider what he did being one while others may and did. On top of that with my thirst for knowledge joining all these groups, including joining this one 5 years ago, could I be considered a parent with his helmet and flight gear on running to the pad to jump into my own helicopter? I wouldn't think so but some of the old guard might think so. As generations change so must the definition of a helo parent?

Once again I would like to thank everyone for posting on this topic as a parent with some personal enlisted AF experience and zero academy and officer experience it has helped me a lot.

 

[Jcleppe]

Just as a side note, both my sons branched Army Aviation, so I guess by default I am a Helicopter Parent.

 

[USAFA83GradWife]

Just as a side note, both my sons branched Army Aviation, so I guess by default I am a Helicopter Parent.

My Dad (Army) calls that an "Apache parent."

 

[Jcleppe]

My Dad (Army) calls that an "Apache parent."

For my older son it would be a "Kiowa Parent"

 

[Boozebin]

Ok I was doing my daily where's waldo search on Web Guy and they had the following posted on the site!

First, please, please, please remember that our photos and video are snapshots in time. I know I repeat that over and over, but the reason for this is that every summer the Academy gets calls from anxious parents who perceive something about their child from their analysis of WebGuy photos and want reassurance of their well-being. Regardless of how your Basic or Cadet may look or seem in a photo, if something were truly wrong, the Academy would let you know. Remember that this is military basic training. It’s not meant to be fun. Basics do not smile while in formation. They are not happy all the time. Every non-emergency call you make to the Academy staff requires someone to stop their primary job, which is training your Basics, in order to research and respond to a non-emergency question. Multiply that by several hundred and that adds up to a lot of time away from the primary duty which is helping basic cadets successfully complete BCT. Keep in mind that out of the 61 classes to go through BCT at USAFA (including 2019), only 12 have been fortunate to have had WebGuy coverage. We want that coverage to continue at its current high level, but it is a delicate balance we have successfully maintained for those 12 years. If we are suddenly seen as a cause for increased workload to the Academy staff, it could have a detrimental effect on the number of events we are allowed to cover. So, I ask you all to continue to enjoy the coverage we provide and trust that everyone has your Basic’s best interest at heart.

I guess they have to deal with the outcome of helo parents too!

 

[ca2midwestmom]

Wow!

 

[bookreader]

On one of the parents' pages, there was much discussion among some of the moms that they were worried that their cadet looked sad, tired, exhausted, unhappy... (fill in the blank). Most of the times the cadet had a serious face because they were not allowed to smile during that march/exercise, etc. So these parents were all in a tizzy over nothing. And even if their snowflake was tired, unhapy, etc, everyone knew that this summer training time would be very difficult. So what did they expect? This isn't summer camp!

 

[Boozebin]

Agreed bookreader. After that Web Guy post I saw that same post repeated on all the Parent groups I'm part of. It spread rather fast. What surprised me there weren't a lot of comments on them. I mean I saw some, mostly about supporting web guy, but not a lot.

I hope this helps sink in for some people. For web guy to make a comment, someone from AFA staff (I assume) had to have said something to them and then in turn Web Guy says to the parents please pump the brakes is rather telling. I've done Web Guy since last year with my DS in Prep and I don't ever remember a post like that.

 

[bookreader]

What/who is Web Guy? My son at at West Point and I've not heard this name before.

 

[Jcleppe]

"Multiply that by several hundred and that adds up to a lot of time away from the primary duty which is helping basic cadets successfully complete BCT."

Holy Crap!!!!, several hundred?

Thank God they don't do these Web Photos for schools like SERE, CDQC, Winter Mountain Warfare, these parents would all have heart attacks on the spot.

What is the deal with the SAs and calls from some parents, are these parents somehow so nervous because of what they hear ahead of time in regard to how tough things are.

I remember when my son went to CDQC his sophomore year or ROTC, we had watched an episode of Surviving the Cut that showed some of the course (the parts they were allowed). My only comment before he left for the school was "Sucks to be You"

 

[Boozebin]

What/who is Web Guy? My son at at West Point and I've not heard this name before.

Sorry bookreader I put this in the parents section and Web Guy is a specific AFA thing so I should have expanded. The Association of Graduates has a service where parents can see pictures of the basics going through BCT. You pay something like $15 a month for access and you can see and download pictures. And I'm not talking a few pictures for my DS alone I found him in 212 pictures and counting. Prep school I got 344 pics.

Holy Crap!!!!, several hundred?

Agreed I was shocked by that number and also the fact that like they said if the AFA finds it a hindrance they won't let them have access to the cadets. Which in turns means no recurring revenue for monthly accounts which hurts the AOG and in turn hurts the cadets and parents to a point.

 

[bookreader]

Well, WP does not have a WebGuy, but I think that lots of parents would be thrilled if we did! I think we've found 6 pics of our new cadet. Quite the counterpoint to your experience.

But if we did, I have no doubt that the Supe would be getting calls from worried parents. Thanks for the explanation.I had a feeling it was something like that but decided to ask and be sure.

 

[Boozebin]

Well, WP does not have a WebGuy, but I think that lots of parents would be thrilled if we did! I think we've found 6 pics of our new cadet. Quite the counterpoint to your experience.

But if we did, I have no doubt that the Supe would be getting calls from worried parents. Thanks for the explanation.I had a feeling it was something like that but decided to ask and be sure.

I have to admit I love the thing! It's like crack I can't help but go on at least once a day to see pictures.

Saw him on crutches once (wasn't worried) just made me think can't wait for that story. My DS did upset me that he made the rope swing no problem when I did it for enlisted basic I went right into the water. He's not going to let me live that one down that he made it and I didn't.

 

[Boozebin]

Ha! 10AM wake up call? That's the dark ages when I was in. Now they let them sleep to 12 and go to DFAC in their footy PJs. See back in my day it was hard!

 

[Jcleppe]

Hey for fairness can't one of you lifers start an idiot officer thread for your Darwin Award winners of which there may just be a few...

Are you referring to something like this?

Back in the dark ages we were coming back to the base from a seminar in DC, as was common in those days there was an open bar at the end of the seminar. One of the new Ensigns decided it was a good idea to flash a big BA out the rear window of the van as we were nearing the base.

Fast forward to the next morning, the Captain came to our office and said with a very sly smile, "Next time one of you morons decide to flash a BA, just make sure that my daughter is not the intended target" From the look on the Ensigns face the Captain knew exactly who had done the deed. The Ensign had some interesting assignments for a while.

 

[NavyHoops]

Wow, just wow. I would be concerned if I saw them and they weren't tired! This training has been going on for decades and decades... It is more regimented, hazing has been removed and much more supervised than back in the day. They will all be okay. My buddy was the Supt's aide awhile ago... They said the office was flooded with calls... Ridiculous. The pictures are great for parents, recruiting, etc. at some point if stuff like that keeps increasing it will limit photos being posted.

 

[ebotterb3]

On one of the parents' pages, there was much discussion among some of the moms that they were worried that their cadet looked sad, tired, exhausted, unhappy... (fill in the blank). Most of the times the cadet had a serious face because they were not allowed to smile during that march/exercise, etc. So these parents were all in a tizzy over nothing. And even if their snowflake was tired, unhapy, etc, everyone knew that this summer training time would be very difficult. So what did they expect? This isn't summer camp!

I have to admit, DH and I fell for this one. DH was in the Army and knows how tough basic training is or was in 1989, and I thought we were prepared for the separation from him but when we saw pics of DS looking bad ( we found out later that he had Jack's Hack) but it was upsetting. What we did was just worry between the two of us. We told nobody. We just assumed it was tough for him and he would get threw it. I must admit, it was a roller coaster ride until we saw some better pics. The unknown is always the hardest part, just not knowing if they are ok.

 

[Sledge]

What is the deal with the SAs and calls from some parents, are these parents somehow so nervous because of what they hear ahead of time in regard to how tough things are.

I can only speculate based on what I've seen on the West Point Parents FB page. Thank God I don't have FB and have only seen it through my wife's account (she has forbidden me to post - probably for the best).

There seem to be a good number of parents, not all certainly, that are totally wrapped up in the prestige and "no-cost" aspect of West Point. To them, the whole "Army thing" is just a side note. They want the prestige, cache, and network that a West Point education will provide their child. For them, there is a total disconnect about the end goal: to produce outstanding officers to lead the enlisted soldiers in defense of our nation.

Wow, just wow. I would be concerned if I saw them and they weren't tired! This training has been going on for decades and decades... It is more regimented, hazing has been removed and much more supervised than back in the day. They will all be okay. My buddy was the Supt's aide awhile ago... They said the office was flooded with calls... Ridiculous. The pictures are great for parents, recruiting, etc. at some point if stuff like that keeps increasing it will limit photos being posted.

They need more "hazing." To weed out the weak. Hell, they can't make them do more than 5 push-ups as corrective training. Weak sauce.

 

[NavyHoops]

I think there is a fine line of hazing and corrective action. Was I hazed? Yes, not much. Some sweat parties, ring thumping here and there. Was life miserable as a plebe, every waking moment. Plebe summer was miserable. We pushed, squares, flutter kicked, leg levered and ran all freakin day. Man nothing like doing a fire drill with the meet up point on hospital point over and over and over. I think they can make it miserable without crossing that line.

And I 100% agree with you assessment that some, not all, lose site of what a SA is for, to make officers! This is more college, it's a leadership lab to make officers and the education is one aspect of the training.

 

[Sledge]

I think they can make it miserable without crossing that line.

<<< Not a grad. Not military even.

What I read and hear, though, most of it admittedly not from official sources, is that the upper class cadre are forever in fear of a hazing accusation. I know, from time immemorial, that each class has it "easier" than the class before them. But, it appears, at least to me, just a parent, that the "strictness," if you will, is indeed softening. At West Point, they've said, since probably 1803, "The Corps has... (gone to hell)."

Is it a generational thing? Is it because of parental monitoring through social media? Is it because of a desire to keep certain demographic percentages?