Voluntary Decline/ Rescind Appointment?

T

throwaway123123

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Apr 20, 2021
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Let me get this straight to the point. It has been a dream of mine to attend a service academy for years. I eventually got an appointment a couple of weeks ago and all the accolades, congratulations, and even the appointment means nothing to me. For a while I could not place my finger on it but after much introspection and deliberation I now know why. I lied. On my dodmerb forums when filling it out I lied about the amount of times I have used alcohol. I low balled the number intentionally even though the real number was around a couple times a month for the span of a few months (over 1.5 years ago). I have tried to inquire about this problem and some people are telling me they may never find out as the secret clearance is not too in depth. However, I would not feel comfortable and believe I should tell the truth. I would quite frankly not be able to stand myself attending a service academy knowing that I stole this spot from another hard working citizen of this great country. I could not see myself at the academy living by the honor code that I myself had defiled to get in. I was wondering if I should contact admissions and come clean or voluntary decline my appointment. Again I have no excuses and was so obsessed with into getting into a service academy, that I did not fully comprehend what the ideals at an academy and what integrity meant until it was too late. It pains me to write this but I know I will still serve this country to a lesser extend whether it be volunteering with local groups or being an informed citizen who participates in local and federal government elections. I know that this is a hard choice for me to make, but I really do feel as if there is no other choice for me than to contact admissions and be honest or decline my appointment. I also know my intentions were to serve but I also realize the gravity of my mistake and lapse in judgement. Even if telling the truth or declining my appointment is giving up on my dream, it is the right choice to make. I just hope I do not get prison time for falsifying a federal form but I am ready to face any consequences. I can take some comfort in the fact that a cadet that is more qualified to serve will be taking my spot.

And yes I know there will be comments that will say if it was your dream for years that I should never have done x,y, or z and I fully agree with this notion as well.
 
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@MullenLE
Paging Mr. Mullen who has no doubt encountered those who have not been accurate in their medical histories in the past. He may offer to communicate with you privately to discuss how these misstatements can be corrected and next steps.

Second, look yourself in the mirror and ask yourself if you have a problem with alcohol consumption. Are you still drinking with a quantity and frequency that gives you unease, or have you stopped? (No answers required here.) If it has caused problems for you, then you have a health issue to deal with.

Third, it may or may not be fixable at this point, but if you want to go to USNA and serve as a commissioned officer, you have made an important first step. The earlier you correct these errors, the less you have to keep lying about them. If you want this, you owe it to yourself to give a good faith try and not just quit.

I would consult with Mr. Mullen at DoDMERB first. See what he recommends. Get the lay of the land before contacting Admissions. Let any “no-saying,” if that happens, come from them.
 
This is in the USNA forum, but you refer to "cadet". Did you get an offer to West Point (USMA)?
There is no need to rescind/decline your offer. Tell them what you lied about and leave it in their hands.
Nobody is going to prison here. Lighten up on yourself. People make mistakes.
 
I agree with @Capt MJ, if you have a drinking problem then that should be your priority.

I agree with @THParent. Don't give up being a cadet at USNA.

My contribution is: two times a month? That's not even a warm up for life in the military.

Or, you don't really won't to go to West Point anyway and are using your fraudulent statements as an excuse.
 
THParent said:
This is in the USNA forum, but you refer to "cadet". Did you get an offer to West Point (USMA)?
There is no need to rescind/decline your offer. Tell them what you lied about and leave it in their hands.
Nobody is going to prison here. Lighten up on yourself. People make mistakes.
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Realizing the issue and trying to fix it is a step to maturity and responsibility, but do not beat up yourself on this. Everybody makes mistakes and it takes strength to admit and correct.
 
A mom here. Don’t beat yourself up for not being perfect. I think a lot of people attracted the SA route, are high achievers...some perfectionists. I also think another misconception, is that these are the only kids at a SA...IOW, looking from the outside (you), one may think they dont belong bc of a perceived self imperfection.

They are not perfect. No one is. And you will encounter all types of people at a SA. So if that’s your part of you thought as to not Ben g ‘worthy’? Put that aside. And take that expectation off of yourself.

Great, pertinent, meaningful advice already from people who know what they are talking about. Don’t give up on the SA. Let them decide. Unless this is a health issue...or something else driving your query (no need to answer). But, don’t ASSUME all is lost. Have an adult conversation about it with whomever you need to. This is an important, adulting skill.

Ad the most important thing is that you learned and grew from going through it.
 
throwaway123123 said:
On my dodmerb forums when filling it out I lied about the amount of times I have used alcohol. I low balled the number intentionally even though the real number was around a couple times a month for the span of a few months (over 1.5 years ago).
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throwaway123123 said:
I would quite frankly not be able to stand myself attending a service academy knowing that I stole this spot from another hard working citizen of this great country. I could not see myself at the academy living by the honor code that I myself had defiled to get in. I was wondering if I should contact admissions and come clean or voluntary decline my appointmen
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First, do you have a drinking problem ....do an honest assessment. Not uncommon for a high schooler to drink, and couple times a month doesn't signal a drinking problem unless it leads to other problems like police record , DUI, etc or you ar drinking to relieve stress. If you have a drinking problem, a Service Academy may not be right for you -its not going to get better.

Second, look at the DODMERB regs and determine what level of alcohol consumption /abuse is a disqualifier. If you would be disqualified under that standard, then your answer may have resulted in an undeserved Medical qualification. If not, it didn't have any impact on your qualification for Appointment., and you did not "steal the spot" from someone else.

I am not condoning lying on the DODMERB questionaire , or any other portion of the Application, but don't think you need to fall on your sword on this unless you would have been disqualified.

As an aside, if the question you answere was the standard "how often do you drink/how many drinks ", I don't think that is really a screener for alcohol problems, but more a general health question. I don't think anyone has ever answered that one with "I get black out drunk every day starting at 10 am.", and suspect that more candidates than not shade the truth a little on that question if their parents are reviewing them. It's not right, but it took me almost 50 years before I realized that I should be telling Dr's everything,
 
If you are concerned about the honor/dishonest answer piece, then by all means flesh it out with DOBMERB or the SA. If you are worried about the drinking alcohol piece (short of having a verified problem with alcohol) then you are fretting over an activity that is legal at your age in more countries across the globe than not.

Every single person on these forums gets screened by their doctor every visit regarding how much alcohol they consume. This is more for the health side of things and not used as a disqualifier for anything, and many of us have likely undershot our answers by more than 1 drink on many occasions.

You have a personal decision to make regarding the honor piece, but if your concern is recreational drinking as a "minor" in the US, I wouldn't sweat it one bit.
 
You and perhaps a thousand other appointees. Not saying what you did was good, but it also doesn’t mean you totally lack the integrity to serve your country. You’re gonna have to go with your gut on this—are you sure this is the reason you’re having second thoughts? Or could you have deeper hesitancies that you’re ascribing to the alcohol question?

In any case, I hate to say it but drinking more alcohol than you care to admit puts you right at home at the Academy, while feeling guilty over it does not. If this really is bothering you then as mentioned above, rectify your mistake to Admissions and let them make their determination.
 
Perhaps I'm wrong, but I don't think you need to speak to admissions at all. Correct your DoDMERB record however Mr. Mullen sees fit. IF you then become disqualified, the academy will act as they see fit. If you aren't disqualified, then you have nothing to worry about and you can rest assured you did the right thing.

I think that honor is the single most important mission area at USNA and the other Academies. However, I don't think talking to admissions is necessary in this case. Do they even see the answers to your questions if you are qualified?
 
For the OP, one thing to consider (and I may be totally off base here) . . . are your concerns about the DODMERB form or are you having other doubts about USNA that are manifesting through it? Some doubt is normal and expected but if you other deep-seeded concerns about USNA, don't ignore them. Be sure it's right for you, as best you can.
 
Old Navy BGO said:
An aviation thing... Flight surgeon's were the enemy ! I tried to avoid Doctor's whenever I could.
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I heard the flight surgeon lessons literally at my father's knee and all through my childhood.
The annual Flight Physicals was definitely a matter of discussion in our house.
 
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Did your alcoholic consumption give you delusions in any way about wanting to apply to and attend a SA and to join the military?

This is another one of those posts that I can’t figure out, and it doesn’t seem to measure up.

Anyway, if you did apply for a good reason, then go ahead and “fess up”, tell them the truth, you should feel better for it ...

2nd Corinthians 12:8-9 [8] Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. [9] But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
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Skipper07 said:
If you aren't disqualified, then you have nothing to worry about and you can rest assured you did the right thing.
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I second @Skipper07. I'd suggest reaching out to Mr. Mullen, as he can answer questions pertaining to the incidents and what to do going forward. Trust me, you'll be glad you were honest.
 
Thank you all for the responses. I have contacted dodmerb and am awaiting a response. The best case scenario is that the incidents were long ago and my medical status stays the same. However, during the eqip/ sf-86 process, I will be no less than honest. I will hold myself accountable but I will also try to retain my status to attend a service academy. I appreciate all the advice the community has given me.
 
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