Wanting to Leave

[professorm804]

I used this forum a lot during my high school years while I was applying and it was very helpful so I thought I would post since I’ve reached a point where I need advice yet again.

I am a current Plebe who has really been wanting to leave lately. At first it was great here. I was meeting a lot of new people and seeing things I had never seen before like New York City or Boston for trip sections. However, as we settle into halfway through the first semester I have started to take a turn for what seems to be the worse. Or maybe I’m just being dramatic I’m not sure.

To put it bluntly, I feel very depressed. It’s like I am living life as a robot. Only existing and not truly living. I go on trip sections to a city area and feel so upset when I have to come back to campus. Even to the point that sometimes I get emotional about it.

So I guess my question is am I experiencing regular Plebe blues or is this something deeper than that and I am truly unhappy here and should leave? I am doubting myself a lot and my choice to come here. The upperclassmen tell us that happens to everyone. But it seems like for most people it happens during the gloom period after they get back from Christmas leave. Not this early.

Furthermore, where is the line between sacrificing fun and living normally for something worth doing and genuinely being depressed to the point that it is harmful to a person’s mental health to continue what they’re doing?

Any advice or insights would be appreciated.

Fellow plebe here. DM me if you need someone to vent to or if you just want to talk about things! You don't have to if you do want to but anything helps!

 

[Jarhead713]

When I was at Fort Knox this summer, hating my life, questioning my decisions, I got some of the best advice I've ever had.

We were at our patrol base, and we'd just set up for the night. My battle has to take a leak, so we both get up and head to the porta johns. Where we were situated, our PB overlooked a hill, and we both stopped and sat down to watch possibly the most beautiful sunset I'd ever seen in my entire life.

And my battle said something to me I'll never forget "We could've done anything. We chose to do this, you know why?" I was like "No man, I've got no clue."

And he said "No one else in the world gets to see stuff like this, at this very place, at this very moment."


You're somewhere so so so so so many people wish they could be. You're doing things so many people wish they could do but can't. It sucks right now, but one day you'll look back and be greatful.

Prioritize your mental health, get help if you need. Lean on your friends.

Good luck!

 

[AROTC-dad]

When I was at Fort Knox this summer, hating my life, questioning my decisions, I got some of the best advice I've ever had.

We were at our patrol base, and we'd just set up for the night. My battle has to take a leak, so we both get up and head to the porta johns. Where we were situated, our PB overlooked a hill, and we both stopped and sat down to watch possibly the most beautiful sunset I'd ever seen in my entire life.

And my battle said something to me I'll never forget "We could've done anything. We chose to do this, you know why?" I was like "No man, I've got no clue."

And he said "No one else in the world gets to see stuff like this, at this very place, at this very moment."


You're somewhere so so so so so many people wish they could be. You're doing things so many people wish they could do but can't. It sucks right now, but one day you'll look back and be greatful.

Prioritize your mental health, get help if you need. Lean on your friends.

Good luck!

SUCH a great post.

 

[unkown1961]

Prioritize your mental health, get help if you need. Lean on your friends.

That is advice and insight beyond your years. Spot on! Mental health is an issue! Suicide is the second leading cause of death for people aged 10-34 and the even the Army is having record levels of suicides ( https://taskandpurpose.com/news/army-suicide-rate-2020/).
But as you said - prioritize mental health and talk to someone.

 

[justdoit19]

When I was at Fort Knox this summer, hating my life, questioning my decisions, I got some of the best advice I've ever had.

We were at our patrol base, and we'd just set up for the night. My battle has to take a leak, so we both get up and head to the porta johns. Where we were situated, our PB overlooked a hill, and we both stopped and sat down to watch possibly the most beautiful sunset I'd ever seen in my entire life.

And my battle said something to me I'll never forget "We could've done anything. We chose to do this, you know why?" I was like "No man, I've got no clue."

And he said "No one else in the world gets to see stuff like this, at this very place, at this very moment."


You're somewhere so so so so so many people wish they could be. You're doing things so many people wish they could do but can't. It sucks right now, but one day you'll look back and be greatful.

Prioritize your mental health, get help if you need. Lean on your friends.

Good luck!

This reminds me of a skill I use. Instead of focusing on what’s wrong, focus on what’s right. COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS. Focus on the good. Not the bad. Even make a list and pin it up Can take you out of a funk.

Also get some exercise. A walk. To look at that special sunset. It releases endorphins, and changes your mood.

Rooting for OP!

 

[Heatherg21]

Stellar advice above. I know our plebe pretty much hated most of his plebe year during Covid at USNA. He had injuries, pain, missed home, but dug deep. He found his tribe and remembered his why.

He was so happy to be home for break at Christmas. And I mention this only so you may not be surprised if it happens to you. But man was that kid a grouch the last week at home. He knew what he was going back to, the Dark Ages. Because of this forum I knew what he was thinking and dealing with and we just gave him some space.

The opportunities he sought out and pursued his spring semester led to the best trip of his life, 10 days on an LREC in Iceland. Who gets to do that???? Selecting his major, looking at the schedule for his Youngster year and leaning into his major were all positives. Summer training, another adventure and memories made.

Take care of you. Seek counsel and support. Check your nutrition and vitamin regimen and make adjustments. Remember your WHY and know that it DOES GET BETTER. My kid is absolutely loving his life and calls to share what amazing things happened multiple times during the week.

The opportunities you have earned the right to experience (by getting into a super hard place), are in front of you. The first year is the worst and it is normal to experience the feelings you have.

@Jarhead713 is right, enjoy the sunsets and sunrises.

 

[Devil Doc]

We were at our patrol base, and we'd just set up for the night. My battle has to take a leak, so we both get up and head to the porta johns. Where we were situated, our PB overlooked a hill, and we both stopped and sat down to watch possibly the most beautiful sunset I'd ever seen in my entire life.

The sun reflects off gold in that area.

 

[Goat 965]

Here’s an unusual view, but it works for me. I believe starting college is like starting a new job is like buying a house. You don’t really know what you have until you’ve been there for a full year. In places we’ve lived — East Coast, Midwest, Mountain West, Europe — the seasons change dramatically and you need to see how things unfold across all 12 months. You just don’t know what issues will emerge with that house until it’s rained, snowed, blown, roasted, frozen, etc. And until you’ve had a chance to explore and enjoy every nook abd cranny.

My long-winded way of saying: SA life is the same. Give it a full year to experience all seasons, all rhythms, all rituals, all twists and turns. If, after that, you’re still miserable, then you can leave with your head held high and less chance of regret. Best wishes.

Agree with this .......Our daughter had her struggles as a Plebe, and we (and others) encouraged her to finish the first semester, then finish the second. A Firstie at that time advised her to come back for her Yuk first semester, it gets better. If she were going to separate, she needed to do it from a position of accomplishment; that there was no doubt that she could "hack it" but that it just wasn't for her. Felt that it would lessen any regret that she may have had should she leave. Now a thriving Firstie, she is doing quite well.

She found a club that was a real outlet for her, and as someone else posted, avoid those Cadets who talk only about how the Academy sucks etc. Surround yourself with as much positivity and support as you can, and it will affect you in great ways.

 

[bopper]

You are comparing your experience at West Point to ..what?

The image of your HS friends at college? Not what it is really like, but what you see on social media?

How HS was compared to West Point?

Are you comparing your experience at WP to freshman engineering at any school? It is going to be tough anywhere you go. I think the first semester of college is the worst because you are getting used to new bedroom, new school, new food, new friends, new academics, new professors.
Definitely finish the semester and consider at least completing the first year.

If you do still want to leave, figure out what you are running TO and not just what you are running away from.