When is enough enough?

EagleMom238

5-Year Member
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Mar 15, 2010
Messages
16
I'm fine with DS attending NROTC, but DH having trouble accepting "no" from both AFA and AFROTC (found this one out today). DS wants to fly heavy transport, but DH thinks that won't happen in the Navy.

How much paperwork, prodding, begging, googling, letter-writing, phone calls, etc. is enough? Applying at multiple academies has been grueling, to say the least, and the inability to plan is nerve-wracking. I feel like a trained seal at the circus jumping through all these hoops.

Am I wimping out at a critical point? Sometimes I think DS should have applied at local Liberal Arts college and been an English teacher.
 
Well, your son could always do AFROTC in college, without the 4 year scholarship. I know that they always have 3 1/2 year in college scholarships. What is your son planning on majoring in? A technical degree could help.

Don't forget the fact that your son could apply to AFA next year. He may even be able to get an additional nomination through AFROTC
 
I'm going to ask questions that are intended to make people think. (Those here that know me, know I usually post beyond the original poster's questions/comments). My questions aren't meant to be argumentative, but for yours and other's reflection. I'm not you, your husband or your son. So what I think "Should be done" isn't necessarily what you should do. So here are my questions.

1. You said how you feel, and definitely how your husband feels, but how does your SON FEEL? After all, it's HIS LIFE, not yours or your husband's.

2. Your son obviously applied to Navy ROTC. If he didn't, then he wouldn't have been accepted with a scholarship. (I assume he was, because you make it sound like he was accepted). He also applied to numerous academies as well as AFROTC. So, if it's not what he wants at all, then WHY did he apply for a NROTC scholarship. Does he truly want to serve his country, or was all his applications strictly for the free education?

3. The Navy has quite a lot of pilots in their branch of the service. What makes your husband think that your son can't be a heavy pilot in the Navy? And more importantly, is this also what your son thinks?

4. You asked: "How much paperwork, prodding, begging, googling, letter-writing, phone calls, etc. is enough?" I can tell you right now, that NO AMOUNT of begging, phone calls, or letter writing is going to get your son an academy appointment at ANY academy; prior to the selection process or after the decisions have been made. So what is it that you expect to achieve by writing letters, making phone calls, begging, or prodding"? And again, more importantly, what does your son think of this approach?

Getting turned down for an academy appointment is a very difficult thing to have to go through. There are some; like our very own Steve (Flieger), who it took a couple of times of applying before he finally received an appointment. And besides being a fantastic ALO in the great state of Arizona, he's also a fighter pilot and Colonel. (I think Lt. Colonel, I can't remember). Point is, he stuck with it because the Air Force Academy is what he wanted, and that's what he was going to continue to work towards. Steve isn't the only person. We have a poster right now on these threads who continued applying and this past week received an appointment. And he's getting ready to GRADUATE FROM COLLEGE next month. Talk about a difficult decision to make.

As I mentioned in a different thread, WHY you get accepted at one academy, ROTC, prep, university, etc... and DON'T at another, is most often nothing to do with the individual. It's not personal. Don't take it that way. Realize that the military service academies are paid for by federal tax dollars. That means that ALL CITIZENS have the right to be represented. And one way of doing that, is to allow each member of congress a total of 5 cadets at the academy, under their nomination, at a time. (Coast doesn't require nominations; it's a little different). Point is; there's so many reasons your son might not have been selected. Not knowing his composite score for his application, it could have been a nomination issue. I.e. The nominator didn't have any slots left that COULD be filled. Or, the nominator chose another applicant over your son who they believed was a better nominee. Your district or state could have been overloaded with applicants for the air force academy and there simply wasn't enough slots.

Appointments are a complicated process. More than half come from guaranteed nominated slots, such as representative, senator, presidential, etc... So that leaves approximately 600-700 of the remaining slots, being competed for by approximately 5000 applicants.

Steve, I, and many others have seen applicants with 4.0gpa (Or very close), and very good ACT/SAT scores, NOT get an appointment. We've seen some applicants who you really doubt will get in, RECEIVE the appointment. Again, who are they competing against? I've also seen people get accepted to Harvard, but not yale. Worse yet, I had a young lady who I helped apply to colleges years ago, who actually wanted to go to a couple of state universities. University of Texas and Michigan State. She DIDN'T get accepted to either, BUT she DID get accepted to MIT. Yes, THAT MIT.

So the best thing to do is to understand why your son wasn't chosen. You know what his application looked like. Was it a kick-A$$ application with uber high GPA and ACT/SAT scores, or was it simply above average? Were there 2 or 3 applying from your district, or were there 20-30? And once you put him into perspective against all other candidates, you have to accept that maybe it just wasn't meant to be. At least this time. But "WHAT COMES NEXT" is not for you to say or ask. It's not for your Husband to say or ask about. It's for your son to ask about and decide. I'm not going to list all his options, because there's plenty of them and I'm sure you all know what they are. But he's the one that APPLIED to all these different avenues to military service. He obviously applied to them all "IN CASE" the air force academy didn't work out. Well, that's what happened. So, why the confusion. Some applicants only apply to one academy and nothing else. I know some of these applicants. It's air force academy or civilian college/university. They didn't want anything else. That's admirable. But if you're going to apply to backup avenues, then you can't really complain when you get accepted to one of them. Anyway, it's best if your son decides what he wants to do. Best of luck. Mike....
 
Christcorp: Thanks for being frank - couldn't agree more.

DS wants to serve his country first and foremost. Will ask where DH got his intel about flying heavy transport. The letter-writing, etc., is DH idea. DS and I content with backup plan. Agree the service needs come first - not ours. I'm also with the "it wasn't meant to be" perspective - his application is great. Again, you're right - the final decision is DS - not ours. DH needs to chill.

Thanks again for the bigger picture.
 
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