Why does VMI have such a low "returning students precentage"

One word: dumb.

Do you have any children? Parents love to their children should be unconditional, but doing everything for your children is not love.

I know I am not doing a good job as my children are spoiled and they know it, as I remind them, but I do my best to teach my children responsibility and accountability.
 
Do you have any children? Parents love to their children should be unconditional, but doing everything for your children is not love.

I know I am not doing a good job as my children are spoiled and they know it, as I remind them, but I do my best to teach my children responsibility and accountability.

"if you fail you must enlist or go away because your never coming back here" isn't the incentive structure that helps cadets midshipmenor kaydets along. I don't have kids, but when I do, they wont live in the house as adults, but I also won't use that as a way to have them join the military.
 
I’ll not comment on the mother’s claims, since she presents no specific facts. However, if she is trolling for additional support for those claims, she is not likely to find it among VMI alumni, alumnae, or parents. Our family has found that the administration is ever mindful their mission and they have performed that mission with the utmost integrity and vigilance.

Bryson – your message is strikingly similar to that which we gave our DS. He was not “forced” to stay at the I, but he knew that if he did not stick it out, he would be responsible for his own tuition and expenses at another institution. Or, he would enlist or otherwise find a job to support himself. He is now a 2nd and, while he sometimes complains about the Spartan environment and regimentation, he loves VMI and has bonded with his BR’s for a lifetime.
 
When I was a Rat going through Hell Week (August 1995), we were about four days into it and out on the Parade Ground (I refuse to call it a "deck" :shake:). I started throwing up. I assume it was the combination of the heat, mental, and physical stress, but I was ralphing it pretty good.

EMT took me to the post hospital and the doctor looked at me. I slept an hour or so and drank a bunch of water. The doctor then cleared me and had me wait on a bench outside of the entrance. After that, a cadet from the counseling staff came and talked to me. He told me that it sucked now, but that it would improve. Marginally, at first, but that it would get better. He told me to set little goals, like making it to the academic year, then to a football game or two (where things are a bit more college-like), then to Thanksgiving etc. I remember him asking "So, sprog, what do you want to do?" I felt a lot better just from having that little talk and having him treat me like a human being. I was ill, but was mentally having a tough time taking everything in. I'd go so far as to say that the little pep talk saved my cadetship. I said "I'd like to go back to Charlie Company, sir."

Some people don't go back, and that's OK too.
 
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Lineinthesand, I can see how you might think my approach to parenting a young adult male son is "dumb" and "misguided", but I'm not alone in my approach. Other parents with children agree with or have used my same type of tough love.

While my parenting style might not be the "incentive structure" you may use someday when you have children of your own, it's not in anyway flawed or inferior to someone else's parenting style as you imply. If you want to coddle your kids and rescue them from the consequences of their own actions and choses, that's your prerogative. Maybe it's the way you were raised? I'm not judging though. Especially since we're on a public forum and I don't want to appear as if I have all the right answers to parenting children. I don't. I'm just doing my best like every other parent.

I've never allowed my any of my three sons to quit anything in their lives while I was raising them. Whether it was academics, sports, or anything else they CHOSE to participate in which I paid for or contributed to. (Had to finish the baseball season before quitting, but not forced to go back next season for example). My belief is that if you allow kids to quit things early in life because its hard, they might make that a habit when they get older. Marriage not going good, I'll quit and get a divorce; having trouble with the boss at work, I'll quit and find another job. I'm not saying a person has to stick it out at all costs, or can't make changes in their lives, but we live in a society where people quit a lot difficult things in their lives to quickly rather than pushing forward, working through them, and persevering. Especially young people. Because I love my sons I don't want them to develope this type of character trait.

My DS understood, and I made sure he understood because I love him, what he was signing up for before matriculating to VMI. I realize no one fully "knows" what they're about to experience at VMI though. It's kinda like not "knowing" what military combat is like until you're actually in that situation and experiencing it first hand. However, DS knew it would be very hard both physically, emotionally, and mentally. He wants to join the military be in infantry. It's been his dream since he was a young kid. I'm not giving him an ultimatum of stay at VMI or join the military if you read my OP. it's one of several options he has. That's the beauty of becoming an adult. You can chose your own path in life. I was just making sure he understood what options were NOT available to him should he chose another path. He's always welcome in my home though, just not to live here. He completely understands that, as I'm sure most parents on this forum understand as well.

However, this original post was never about me or my DS and my parenting skills. It was about another parent & her DS. She made unnecessary accusations about VMI, which I was pointing out while trying to give personal examples. In no was was I soliciting parenting advice from 20 something year olds such as yourself. I wish you good luck in your Coast Guard career and God bless Texas!!!
 
Hey LITS, I just want to wish you luck in your Coast Guard career as well, when did you go back in.
 
In no was was I soliciting parenting advice from 20 something year olds such as yourself. I wish you good luck in your Coast Guard career and God bless Texas!!!

Making assumptions about my age AND service now? My Coast Guard career was over two years ago.

Bryson said:
Before he left for VMI I told him that if he quit, he could not come back home. He could enlist in the military or move back to Texas and find a job and apartment on his own.

Bryson said:
I'm not giving him an ultimatum of stay at VMI or join the military if you read my OP. it's one of several options he has.

Maybe we define "ultimatum" differently. It certainly sounds like when you put them back-to-back like that. I guess "or find a job" qualified as "several options." Certianly telling a kid, you can leave, but you can't come here, in an job market we're in, is going to be fairly damning. I hope that isn't the real guidance you're providing "find something". Joining the military or a SMC isn't "playing baseball" or "riding out the season." I'm sorry to say. There are much bigger things at stake here.

But no fear Bryson, I was neither coddled, nor plan on coddling my future children. I'm also know that "football players" break just as much as anyone else. Maybe because the summer isn't played in 20 second periods of time.

I'm not going to judge (or atleast verbalize that judgement...I'm probably judging) if you are a good parent or a bad parent, but there is DEFINATELY good parenting and bad parenting. Yes, parents privide the same kind of incentives that you have. That doesn't make it right, in itself. Just as someone else beating their child doesn't make it right for you to beat yours (I'm not equating the two, it's just an example).
 
I may have been too harsh, Bryson. Understand, my comments come from a concern for the impact of "you can't come home" comments on the students. I'm sure you aren't the first to use that tactic, and I'm equally sure MANY a cadet or midshipmen has returned home, either because they couldn't take it or didn't want to take it. I'm also positive one of the hardest parts of returning home is facing disappointed family and friends. And I know, invariably, family or friends will make up excuses, such as "he couldn't see himself killing another person" or "she didn't believe in the mission" or "they didn't like them" or "they didn't measure up to her standards." The excuses work on people who have no idea abou the reality of a SA or SMC, but many others see through them.

Each of those parents believed his or her son or daughter was tough, best of the best, and would succeed. And sometimes.... they don't. Sometimes they aren't the best of the best. Sometimes they fail. But like you, I think, in general, parents love their kids whether they fail or succeed. I think we can also be honest that kids don't always see it that way.... they worry about failing.

I'm guessing, if your son didn't make it, his biggest pain would be disappointing you. That's not a BAD thing. I worried about letting down my parents and family too.... but I never had to go home to face that disappointment... many do. We can either magnify, or we can try to avoid it from even being a possibility by encouraging them to succeed (I'm not saying you AREN'T encouraging your son... this is just a general statement).
 
This thread are incredible in how they evolve from a false permise that VMI had a high drop out (the data if one was to look it up shows VMI is below the average for number of drops out - yes it is statistical different) to a thread that is bedating parenting skills and there merits.

I being a fairly successful parent (three kids in three tries) :)thumb:) feel that I am more than worthy to comment on parenting.

Each of my three kids I used different methods at different times - from you can't quite no matter what; to I will buy you an ice cream if you finish. Each kid need something different for each stage or event in their lives. I don't know if did the best job but so far I have a Doctor of Veternarian Medician, a Genetic Engineer, and a rat at VMI.

But as my wife says "at least we din't screw them up to badly!"
 
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Each of my three kids I used different methods at different times -"

I really liked your response, it made me smile and laugh and want to give it a great big thumbs up. :thumb: Absolutely nothing in my life has made me feel less adequate than being a parent, and like a great many parents I know, I too hasve used different methods at different times on our two (I was brave or successful enough to have three). One is at A&M with her Girl Scout Gold Award and one may, we'll see, get his Eagle this year and graduate from high school; hope so anyway.

I've received a lot of great information from the posters on this forum and deeply appreciate the service so many have provided, not only for the country, but also for the parents and students who, like me, learn a great deal from this forum.
 
Lineinthesand, "Or find a job" means just what is says. Go find a job! I'm not obligated to house, cloth, or feed DS after he moves out. Parents all across the country follow this principle. There are a large number of adult children however who still live in their parents homes though. Probably more now, than in the last 20 years due to the economy.Some have even finished college and recieved their degrees but cant find work in their fields of study. Some live with their parents into their thirties! And neither parent nor child see anything wrong with it!

My DS is mature enough (thank God) to understand what it would take to live on his own outside of his parents home. He also understands the current job market and what kinds of jobs he'd be able to get, which wouldn't pay much. He's worked as a lifeguards for a few years, he's worked as a bar tender, he's work in the landscaping business. That's what kinds of jobs he can expect to land at his age with a high school diploma should he elect to discontinue his college education at this point in life. (Not that im even worried about this happening). He would have to find some friends to share an apartment with though because he probably wouldn't be able to afford rent, utilities, food, gas, car insurance, COLLEGE LOAN DEBT, etc. on his own with low wage jobs. (Notice i said "jobs" becuase it would probably take 2 or more jobs for him to survive financially).The reality of his choses, should he chose that path would teach him much more about life than I could ever communicate to him. Alls I can do is council and encourage him as a loving parent. I can't make decisions for him.

This issue would have been the same had he chosen to attend another college instead of VMI. If he'd of gone to A&M a few hours from our home, he still wouldn't be allowed to move back in if he quit college. You act as if my DS or I don't realize this season of his life will take four or more years to graduate from VMI. Or how hard it will truly be. Or that i dont understand what enlisting in the military would involve for my DS. I never implied being at a SMC or enlisting in the military is like a football/baseball season. (Although I have verbally encouraged all three of my sons to serve their country in some manner Guard/Active/Reserve for at least a short period of time. It's honorable in my opinion). And I never implied being a football player wouldn't cause him to "break". In fact what I said was, he had told me it was VERY hard and he was stressed out and pissed off at some of his cadre for what he believed was unnecessary harassment because of being an athlete and I told him to "suck it up". Just like one man tells another man who's going through a tough experience. I dont talk to him or treat him like a child anylonger. The ratline will come to an end. All he has to do is not quit. At the end of the year, IF he chose not to return to VMI, he'd still need to find a job and support himself outside of my home. Most of my previous comments were about finishing what you've started. I can't force my DS to go to college. But I can make darn sure he doesn't sit around my house all day in his underwear in a beanbag chair, eating Cheetos and playing video games while working a part time job so he can go out with his friends/girlfriend on the weekends.

You see Lineinthesand, you are the product of a different generation. And a different upbringing, which I find hard to understand and am perplexed by. If you even followed the original posters comments, she was blaming VMI for her sons decision to quit. She never mentioned trying to talk him into staying at VMI and working through his difficulties. But I guess because I wouldn't run down there and pick up my son from VMI on the first phone call of troubled news, makes me a bad parent in your view. If she nor her DS knew what he was getting into, then the fault lies with them for not doing their research before choosing a college. Especially VMI!

Sorry i made assumptions about you still being in the Coast Guard. I hope youre doing well in whatever career youre in. And i did make an asumption about your age. i reasoned that if you graduated the USCGA in 06' your probably still in your mid-late 20's. maaaaybeee 30-31 yoa. :)

You kinda lost me with the last paragraph about good vs bad parenting and abusing your children. But that's ok, I'm gonna drop this discussion with you about parenting. Look me up in 18-20 years after you have an adult son of your own and we'll continue this discussion.

I really do wish you the best of luck in your endeavors in life. You're obviously a very sharp young man (not that young), and I know your parents are very proud of you and your accomplishments. I do mean this sincerely.

God Bless Texas!!!
 
Lineinthesand, I made my last post before reading your last post. These threads change so quickly. I wated to tell you I do understand your position much clearer. And if there's one thing I could tell my son right now it would be that I love him unconditionally. Success or failure, he is MY son and I will love him forever and always. And while I may sound harsh, I have tried double hard to make sure all of my sons know that I love them no matter what. There's nothing they can do to end my love for them.

Thank you for bringing such great insight to my bullheaded talk. I miss my son tremendously since he's left for VMI. He's a great son who always makes his mother and I very proud. I miss being around him. I pray for him every day that God give him the strength and courage to make it through ratline and all other challenges he may face in life.

I'm glad you shared your personal story about not wanting to disappoint your parents. That hit home with me. Your a good man.
 
Bryson said....."And if there's one thing I could tell my son right now it would be that I love him unconditionally. Success or failure, he is MY son and I will love him forever and always. And while I may sound harsh, I have tried double hard to make sure all of my sons know that I love them no matter what. There's nothing they can do to end my love for them.

......I miss my son tremendously since he's left for VMI. He's a great son who always makes his mother and I very proud. I miss being around him. I pray for him every day that God give him the strength and courage to make it through ratline and all other challenges he may face in life."


Exactly, Bryson. Understood without saying. This is my third child. The others took different paths, but thankfully are quite successful in their lives. We hope the youngest follows. The philosophy for all three is the same, however. Mom has as much or more to do with that than I. Best wishes for your son's success.
 
Lineinthesand, "Or find a job" means just what is says. Go find a job! I'm not obligated to house, cloth, or feed DS after he moves out. Parents all across the country follow this principle. There are a large number of adult children however who still live in their parents homes though. Probably more now, than in the last 20 years due to the economy.Some have even finished college and recieved their degrees but cant find work in their fields of study. Some live with their parents into their thirties! And neither parent nor child see anything wrong with it!

My DS is mature enough (thank God) to understand what it would take to live on his own outside of his parents home. He also understands the current job market and what kinds of jobs he'd be able to get, which wouldn't pay much. He's worked as a lifeguards for a few years, he's worked as a bar tender, he's work in the landscaping business. That's what kinds of jobs he can expect to land at his age with a high school diploma should he elect to discontinue his college education at this point in life. (Not that im even worried about this happening). He would have to find some friends to share an apartment with though because he probably wouldn't be able to afford rent, utilities, food, gas, car insurance, COLLEGE LOAN DEBT, etc. on his own with low wage jobs. (Notice i said "jobs" becuase it would probably take 2 or more jobs for him to survive financially).The reality of his choses, should he chose that path would teach him much more about life than I could ever communicate to him. Alls I can do is council and encourage him as a loving parent. I can't make decisions for him.

This issue would have been the same had he chosen to attend another college instead of VMI. If he'd of gone to A&M a few hours from our home, he still wouldn't be allowed to move back in if he quit college. You act as if my DS or I don't realize this season of his life will take four or more years to graduate from VMI. Or how hard it will truly be. Or that i dont understand what enlisting in the military would involve for my DS. I never implied being at a SMC or enlisting in the military is like a football/baseball season. (Although I have verbally encouraged all three of my sons to serve their country in some manner Guard/Active/Reserve for at least a short period of time. It's honorable in my opinion). And I never implied being a football player wouldn't cause him to "break". In fact what I said was, he had told me it was VERY hard and he was stressed out and pissed off at some of his cadre for what he believed was unnecessary harassment because of being an athlete and I told him to "suck it up". Just like one man tells another man who's going through a tough experience. I dont talk to him or treat him like a child anylonger. The ratline will come to an end. All he has to do is not quit. At the end of the year, IF he chose not to return to VMI, he'd still need to find a job and support himself outside of my home. Most of my previous comments were about finishing what you've started. I can't force my DS to go to college. But I can make darn sure he doesn't sit around my house all day in his underwear in a beanbag chair, eating Cheetos and playing video games while working a part time job so he can go out with his friends/girlfriend on the weekends.

You see Lineinthesand, you are the product of a different generation. And a different upbringing, which I find hard to understand and am perplexed by. If you even followed the original posters comments, she was blaming VMI for her sons decision to quit. She never mentioned trying to talk him into staying at VMI and working through his difficulties. But I guess because I wouldn't run down there and pick up my son from VMI on the first phone call of troubled news, makes me a bad parent in your view. If she nor her DS knew what he was getting into, then the fault lies with them for not doing their research before choosing a college. Especially VMI!

Sorry i made assumptions about you still being in the Coast Guard. I hope youre doing well in whatever career youre in. And i did make an asumption about your age. i reasoned that if you graduated the USCGA in 06' your probably still in your mid-late 20's. maaaaybeee 30-31 yoa. :)

You kinda lost me with the last paragraph about good vs bad parenting and abusing your children. But that's ok, I'm gonna drop this discussion with you about parenting. Look me up in 18-20 years after you have an adult son of your own and we'll continue this discussion.

I really do wish you the best of luck in your endeavors in life. You're obviously a very sharp young man (not that young), and I know your parents are very proud of you and your accomplishments. I do mean this sincerely.

God Bless Texas!!!

As is often the case when I post, I'm probably not communicating my full feelings in a way that is easy for you to understand.

In fact, from just about every I've seen you write, we're on the same page.

Our actions and decisions follow us around and in the end, you alone should be accountable for the path we take. Yes, others have an influence, but at the end of the day, we chose to go left or right down the paths of our lives.

I think we agree on that. And it sounds like your son understands it's up to him (in fact, I don't think many people make it through a SMC or SA if they're only there because someone else wants them to be).

Maybe this is a miscommunication. I wouldn't expect (and as a cadet wouldn't have appreciated) you going down at the first call to pick up your kid. The feeling I got from the "you're not coming home" wasn't a "pick yourself up" call as much as a "I'm turning my back" decision. Now, likely I read too much into that, because your statements after that post, definately fall under the "non-helicopter" parent status I appreciated as a cadet and officer (now it doesn't really matter).

I thought about leaving CGA OFTEN that first year. I hated it. My parents didn't coddle me during the process. They told me they loved me and were proud of me, and that in the end, the decision was mine, and mine alone. They accepted profanity-filled phone calls (not just that first year) where I had to vent. And at times they would tell me they knew I could do it (even if I doubted it at times). And month after month, year after year, things got better. I vented less. I was happier and after four years, the moment that I never thought would come, did. I walked across the state.

My parents didn't rob me of the pride of graduating. It doesn't sound like your on that path either.

But I can tell you, as a swab and as a cadre, I saw 17-23 year olds absolutely crushed, ashamed of the fact that CGA wasn't for them and the prospect of leaving.

As you can tell from SAF, parents are VERY proud of their kids. Their kids are FULLY aware of that pride. And those kids, the ones who leave, either on their own or because they didn something wrong, think about letting their parents down. They've gone through a year of their parents bragging to relatives and family friends that "Johnny's off to serve the country, got into a great school, and has done us proud" usually resulting in "You guys have done such a great job raising Johnny. Johnny, we're all so proud of you, can't wait to hear all of your stories when you come home." Their friends are just as proud. So these SMC or SA kids go off to school, it doesn't pan out, and they realize that they're going to go home to THIS?!

Some make up excuses, and for the most part people at home buy it. But in the end, in their hearts and souls they know why they left and they feel like they've let everyone down. And that is why I think parents should be nothing more than positive outlets. Parents don't get them through it.... they get through it themselves, with the help of their classmates and fellow cadets/midshipmen.

But I think you and I are on the same page.
 
Lineinthesand, I made my last post before reading your last post. These threads change so quickly. I wated to tell you I do understand your position much clearer. And if there's one thing I could tell my son right now it would be that I love him unconditionally. Success or failure, he is MY son and I will love him forever and always. And while I may sound harsh, I have tried double hard to make sure all of my sons know that I love them no matter what. There's nothing they can do to end my love for them.

Thank you for bringing such great insight to my bullheaded talk. I miss my son tremendously since he's left for VMI. He's a great son who always makes his mother and I very proud. I miss being around him. I pray for him every day that God give him the strength and courage to make it through ratline and all other challenges he may face in life.

I'm glad you shared your personal story about not wanting to disappoint your parents. That hit home with me. Your a good man.

Somehow I completely missed this post! And I totally agree, everything you said here is a huge comfort to a kid that wants to not only do well, but make his family and friends proud.

:thumb:
 
. . .
But I can tell you, as a swab and as a cadre, I saw 17-23 year olds absolutely crushed, ashamed of the fact that CGA wasn't for them and the prospect of leaving.

. . .

For parents and future applicants, there is no shame in leaving an institution because you realized you made a wrong decision. The worse thing to do is stay because you don't have the courage or you feel ashamed. I don't think society looks down on college students that transfer to another school.

It's hard to know if a SA is for you or not until you get there as no amount of talking to cadets, researching, or overnight visit cannot replicate the SA experience.

What I will ask is to make an informed decision, not a reactionary decision. Ask why SA is not for you? An answer should not be I don't like wearing uniforms or getting up early, but structured life style is not for me and I want freedom to allow my creative attributes to flourish.
 
But I can tell you, as a swab and as a cadre, I saw 17-23 year olds absolutely crushed, ashamed of the fact that CGA wasn't for them and the prospect of leaving.
Last year my son was a CGA Scholar(prep) and did the prep year down at Marion Military Institute. The year started out with a 3 week orientation at CGA that many of those that have done Swab summer and Scholar orientation say is more difficult than swab summer (I have no idea). He said it was hard but "definitely worth it". At Thanksgiving he came home and was still gung ho about the CGA and the opportunity before him. He said MMI sucks but is not particularly hard if you just do what you are supposed to do. He came home again at Christmas. He had done well academically the first semester, hadn't shot the lights out but had done well. Physically he was also doing fine, posting around 230 on the PFE. He thought he should have done better academically as he had a 31 ACT score and 3.7 hs gpa. He was still saying he was looking forward to going back to CGA but the excitement seemed to be gone from his voice. He went back to MMI and started his second semester and we occaisionally talked. He didn't sound the same and I was concerned but he always said things were going fine. Just before spring break he called and said the CGA was asking anyone that was considering leaving the program to let them know by Friday and that he had requested and been granted an extension until after spring break. He needed to let the CGA know if he was staying or leaving by the Monday after break. We talked about it and what he was going to do if he did decide to leave. It was his decision to make but he needed to have a clear vision of where he was going if he did decide to leave. We didn't talk again until he called at the end of spring break. He said he was going to turn in his resignation the next morning. He said he was going to finish the year at MMI and enroll in a program to earn a BS in nursing the following fall. This was an emotional time for him as well as for his mother and I. He always knew that we would support him as long as he had a thought out plan as to what he was going to do. His reasons for leaving were that he did not want to do 4 more years in the environment of the academy that he was anticipating having a higher "suck factor" than MMI and then being comitted for another 5 years of service doing something he was no longer sure he wanted to do. (he had entered planning on majoring in mechanical engineering but I never did think he was truly sold on being an engineer). He completed the year at MMI and did about the same academically as the first semester.

He came home and immediately started a good paying job working nights running plastic injection molding machines that he had lined up before he came home. He had very little social life all summer as all he seemed to do was work and sleep. He started back to college a couple of weeks ago and so far seems to be enjoying the classes and the environment.

I think he had researched and thought he knew what he was getting into with the CG but did not/could not really know what that was until he got there. He just decided it wasn't for him. I don't know that he was crushed or ashamed but it was difficult to leave.

I can support my kids changing directions but they get a lot more support if they have thought it through and have a plan. Running away from something is not ok. They need to be running to something.

Spur of the moment decisions under stress are probably not good ones but there is nothing wrong with leaving if one know why and what they are going to do next.
 
I can support my kids changing directions but they get a lot more support if they have thought it through and have a plan. Running away from something is not ok. They need to be running to something.

Spur of the moment decisions under stress are probably not good ones but there is nothing wrong with leaving if one know why and what they are going to do next.

Excellent.
 
Last year my son was a CGA Scholar(prep) and did the prep year down at Marion Military Institute. The year started out with a 3 week orientation at CGA that many of those that have done Swab summer and Scholar orientation say is more difficult than swab summer (I have no idea). He said it was hard but "definitely worth it". At Thanksgiving he came home and was still gung ho about the CGA and the opportunity before him. He said MMI sucks but is not particularly hard if you just do what you are supposed to do. He came home again at Christmas. He had done well academically the first semester, hadn't shot the lights out but had done well. Physically he was also doing fine, posting around 230 on the PFE. He thought he should have done better academically as he had a 31 ACT score and 3.7 hs gpa. He was still saying he was looking forward to going back to CGA but the excitement seemed to be gone from his voice. He went back to MMI and started his second semester and we occaisionally talked. He didn't sound the same and I was concerned but he always said things were going fine. Just before spring break he called and said the CGA was asking anyone that was considering leaving the program to let them know by Friday and that he had requested and been granted an extension until after spring break. He needed to let the CGA know if he was staying or leaving by the Monday after break. We talked about it and what he was going to do if he did decide to leave. It was his decision to make but he needed to have a clear vision of where he was going if he did decide to leave. We didn't talk again until he called at the end of spring break. He said he was going to turn in his resignation the next morning. He said he was going to finish the year at MMI and enroll in a program to earn a BS in nursing the following fall. This was an emotional time for him as well as for his mother and I. He always knew that we would support him as long as he had a thought out plan as to what he was going to do. His reasons for leaving were that he did not want to do 4 more years in the environment of the academy that he was anticipating having a higher "suck factor" than MMI and then being comitted for another 5 years of service doing something he was no longer sure he wanted to do. (he had entered planning on majoring in mechanical engineering but I never did think he was truly sold on being an engineer). He completed the year at MMI and did about the same academically as the first semester.

He came home and immediately started a good paying job working nights running plastic injection molding machines that he had lined up before he came home. He had very little social life all summer as all he seemed to do was work and sleep. He started back to college a couple of weeks ago and so far seems to be enjoying the classes and the environment.

I think he had researched and thought he knew what he was getting into with the CG but did not/could not really know what that was until he got there. He just decided it wasn't for him. I don't know that he was crushed or ashamed but it was difficult to leave.

I can support my kids changing directions but they get a lot more support if they have thought it through and have a plan. Running away from something is not ok. They need to be running to something.

Spur of the moment decisions under stress are probably not good ones but there is nothing wrong with leaving if one know why and what they are going to do next.

Is he at least looking at doing nursing via one of the ROTC programs? I know for my university we still had a few unfilled seats for 4 year AD scholarships because of failures or not enough qualified applicants.
 
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