Lineinthesand, "Or find a job" means just what is says. Go find a job! I'm not obligated to house, cloth, or feed DS after he moves out. Parents all across the country follow this principle. There are a large number of adult children however who still live in their parents homes though. Probably more now, than in the last 20 years due to the economy.Some have even finished college and recieved their degrees but cant find work in their fields of study. Some live with their parents into their thirties! And neither parent nor child see anything wrong with it!
My DS is mature enough (thank God) to understand what it would take to live on his own outside of his parents home. He also understands the current job market and what kinds of jobs he'd be able to get, which wouldn't pay much. He's worked as a lifeguards for a few years, he's worked as a bar tender, he's work in the landscaping business. That's what kinds of jobs he can expect to land at his age with a high school diploma should he elect to discontinue his college education at this point in life. (Not that im even worried about this happening). He would have to find some friends to share an apartment with though because he probably wouldn't be able to afford rent, utilities, food, gas, car insurance, COLLEGE LOAN DEBT, etc. on his own with low wage jobs. (Notice i said "jobs" becuase it would probably take 2 or more jobs for him to survive financially).The reality of his choses, should he chose that path would teach him much more about life than I could ever communicate to him. Alls I can do is council and encourage him as a loving parent. I can't make decisions for him.
This issue would have been the same had he chosen to attend another college instead of VMI. If he'd of gone to A&M a few hours from our home, he still wouldn't be allowed to move back in if he quit college. You act as if my DS or I don't realize this season of his life will take four or more years to graduate from VMI. Or how hard it will truly be. Or that i dont understand what enlisting in the military would involve for my DS. I never implied being at a SMC or enlisting in the military is like a football/baseball season. (Although I have verbally encouraged all three of my sons to serve their country in some manner Guard/Active/Reserve for at least a short period of time. It's honorable in my opinion). And I never implied being a football player wouldn't cause him to "break". In fact what I said was, he had told me it was VERY hard and he was stressed out and pissed off at some of his cadre for what he believed was unnecessary harassment because of being an athlete and I told him to "suck it up". Just like one man tells another man who's going through a tough experience. I dont talk to him or treat him like a child anylonger. The ratline will come to an end. All he has to do is not quit. At the end of the year, IF he chose not to return to VMI, he'd still need to find a job and support himself outside of my home. Most of my previous comments were about finishing what you've started. I can't force my DS to go to college. But I can make darn sure he doesn't sit around my house all day in his underwear in a beanbag chair, eating Cheetos and playing video games while working a part time job so he can go out with his friends/girlfriend on the weekends.
You see Lineinthesand, you are the product of a different generation. And a different upbringing, which I find hard to understand and am perplexed by. If you even followed the original posters comments, she was blaming VMI for her sons decision to quit. She never mentioned trying to talk him into staying at VMI and working through his difficulties. But I guess because I wouldn't run down there and pick up my son from VMI on the first phone call of troubled news, makes me a bad parent in your view. If she nor her DS knew what he was getting into, then the fault lies with them for not doing their research before choosing a college. Especially VMI!
Sorry i made assumptions about you still being in the Coast Guard. I hope youre doing well in whatever career youre in. And i did make an asumption about your age. i reasoned that if you graduated the USCGA in 06' your probably still in your mid-late 20's. maaaaybeee 30-31 yoa.
You kinda lost me with the last paragraph about good vs bad parenting and abusing your children. But that's ok, I'm gonna drop this discussion with you about parenting. Look me up in 18-20 years after you have an adult son of your own and we'll continue this discussion.
I really do wish you the best of luck in your endeavors in life. You're obviously a very sharp young man (not that young), and I know your parents are very proud of you and your accomplishments. I do mean this sincerely.
God Bless Texas!!!