Why Naval Academy be a choice for a smart kid

Respectfully disagree.

We should have some sense of humor.

Being kind sometimes can perpetuate certain behaviors or don't send a clear message.

Perhaps "Seahorse" found humor in the improper use of the English language when the OP used the adverb "Why" coupled with the past tense verb "be" instead of the present tense verb "is" in the thread title?
 
Kazi:
dont be offended by posters. One of my firsts posts on this service academy set off a ring of fire. That's the curse that is part of the blessing of this forum. overall its a great forum and INCREDIBLY helpful but make sure to stay thick skinned. (what ever happened to whistle pig???)


For a smart kid (GPA 4.3 due to AP courses), why should Naval academy be a choice. Questions ringing in my head.


Perhaps it is your fault that your son is choosing to serve or has some secret patriotic bent. What I mean by that is perhaps you have instilled some exemplary qualities in your son besides just his smarts that makes him want to serve and lead?

Like I said we dont really come from a military background (father-in-law served long enough to have a cup of coffee and cady at an army golf course forever ago-) so that wasnt why our son set about this path. However, reading over his various service academy essays and hearing him speak at the American Legion Hall after his boys state experience I learned more about what was driving him. Also reflecting on how he grew up gave us some clues.


~Who knew that having an uncle with disabilities that lives with us would teach him responsibility (IE as a five year old he had to take his 25 year old uncle to the bathroom at the movie theater)
~who knew that not giving out allowance or paying for chores would have him having to figure out a way to make money and thus a work ethic
~who knew that not settling for poor grades would teach him to try harder
~who knew that having a father extremely interested in history would teach him about our past
~Who knew that his mother being an active member of the local chapter of The League of Women Voters gave him more interest in civics?
~Who knew that by moving to a very conservative community would expose him to patriotism and parades -come on the uniforms are cool ;)
~who knew that the sport he chose at 3 years old would teach him to lead and push himself
~who knew that not allowing the tv and video games on would give him a chance to learn to use his mind AND body
~who knew that saying "I love you, have fun and be productive" when he leaves the house in the morning would make him think I love this country, it would be fun to go to a service academy and I will indeed be productive'


Everyone on the board has their reasons that their son or daughter ended up wanting to join the military. It may be family history, a mentor they met, a book they read, a teacher they had, the community they grew up in. If you think about the choices you made in raising your son you will see why he is choosing this path. and you will see that you are partly 'to blame'.

My suggestion would be to read his essays (he has to write a bunch!) talk with him-not to him. engage in reflective LISTENING. you'll get it.




How often they are sent to fight .... sent to war, say in Afganistan or Iraq?


I get your concerns here. I share them. I dont have the answer to that or any guidance. Hurricaine12 (a poster who I think is a cadet at USNA) has a tag line under her posts that I really think is beautiful. "This is the world. Have faith." I have found myself reflecting on the quote at times.


My son is only a rising senior in highschool just starting the process as well-PM if you have any questions or concerns -Im not sure I can help at all but I can be a support.

Good luck to you and your family.
 
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I agree with Vista.

I am not only a Mom of an AF 2012 commissioned officer that has a rated slot, but a wife of a retired AF O5 WSO.

This will sound insane, but honestly as a spouse of a rated officer, combat was not a fear. The reason why is simple. I could have locked Bullet in a closet, but if that is the day he would die, he would still die. At least I knew if he died it was doing something he loved.

No offense, but the reality is more people die on the road in car accidents or plane crashes every year than they do in a military conflicts.

Are you going to take his DL away? No!

If you look for the bad, you will go insane, and honestly, you probably will create a wall between the two of you. He understands you don't support his decision, or you fear for his life, that may change your relationship. " Why tell her, she will only freak, silence is better". Believe me, the last 10 yrs of Bullet's career because he heard for 10 yrs this is not the right war (Gulf I, Kosovo, Haiti) he went silent. He would call them a week prior to deployment, even when he knew for months he was going by X date. I am not joking. He informed them @ 5 days prior. Flipside, my family knew from day 1. FYI, Bullet talked to his folks every Sat., he had multiple opportunities to tell them, he just chose not to tell them. Their actions created the reaction which turned into his action.

Do you want that?

If you look at their smile, you will find peace. You raised a great child. You raised him to leave the nest, that is what he is doing.
 
As the parent of a "smart" 2/C I'll try to address the things she gets academically at USNA compared to what her other opportunities were. First, let me say as background, DD was an outstanding HS student (as are most all of the others who earn appointments) who had acceptance offers from many prestigious universities (including other full rides) - (as did most others who earn appointments.)

What did she find at NA? Challenge. Opportunity. Like-minded peers, facilities beyond compare, (One example: when we visited (a college you've heard of) they were extremely proud of their 30 year old supersonic wind tunnel: USNA has three relatively new ones!) To continue: she found failure and the fortitude to struggle through. She's taught by real professors who hold office hours for individual consultation. She has opportunities to advance as far as she cares to go. All in an atmosphere of support rather than the more typical "weeding out" process of other places.

I could go on but, as others have said, the decision is not one to be taken lightly. It's 4 tough years. There are plenty of hardships (differences) to endure but I don't think academics is one of them.
 
kazi,

You seem to be in the same situation that we found ourselves. Our youngest wanted to go to USNA. Neither my or my wife's family had any military background, other than WWII. Our other children, nieces and nephews all went to civilian colleges, including numerous Ivies and other top schools. Our son had top academics and was getting accepted everywhere he applied. He had an 800 math SAT. We were extremely apprehensive, to say the least.

What turned it around for us? We attended a CVW (Candidate Visitation Weekend) with our son. We discovered that (i) the midshipmen were basically college kids like they are everywhere else, but with a more defined mission in life and incredibly polite and proper, (ii) the academic staff is very dedicated to the well-being and achievement of their students, (iii) the campus is gorgeous, but with the added positive that there are no students simply sitting around - they are all on their way to do something (and not a scrap of litter anywhere), and (iv) there isn't an overwhelming "uber-military" feeling about the place. Sure everyone is in uniform, but they aren't running aroung with guns and bayonets.

My suggestion (like other responses above) is to keep investigating and exploring and keep an open mind.

BTW - our son is now a 2nd Class midshipman majoring in physics. PHYSICS - are you kidding me?
 
One well-hidden advantage of attending a SA: the academies all are designed to be under-graduate schools. The focus is upon the cadets and midshipmen, and the facilities were intended and designed for their use. Consider the finer civilian colleges and univer-sities: while they most certainly do an excellent job of educating their undergrads, in many cases their real focus is on their graduate programs!

I sincerely hope that the information you are receiving here is helping you, and other parents and guardians in your position, to formulate a course of action which will be in the best interest of your youngster(s).
 
Our son seem motivated to seek admission in a full academy or as NROTC, but we as parents are not sure if we can support his decision. He did the summer seminar and now preparing his application. Of course, the value of almost free education is great but why and how could we send our kid harms way? For a smart kid (GPA 4.3 due to AP courses), why should Naval academy be a choice. Questions ringing in my head. How often they are sent to fight as an Engineer, he aspires to be one? What do Engineers in Navy do when sent to war, say in Afganistan or Iraq?

Kazi

Congratulations on having a smart kid. As a parent, I'm sure you have helped guide and protect him since he was an infant through his adolescence. You probably assumed he'd select some big name university not too far away from you and settle into some "safe" career. Like a lot of teenagers, yours is suddenly veering off your plans and expectations. Notice I said your expectations, not his.

Some kids grow up knowing they want to be, doctors, lawyers, or engineers. It's their calling. Have you considered that kids that join the military hear that same calling, it's just a different tune. Also, your son wants to be an officer. That means he is not content to follow, he wants to lead. This is where the service academies come in. The service academies are primarily the best leadership schools in the country. Leadership at a service academy is not just an academic exercise, it's part of daily life and learning over a four year period. I suspect your son has discovered that the challenge of a service academy and the lifestyle that it represents has a huge appeal over the "safe and normal" path of his peers. There is something about the road less traveled that is calling him.

You asked the question : "How can I support my sons decision?" I ask you : "How can you not?" You've supported him his entire life and likely brought him up to make his own decisions. Now that he is about to make his first really adult decision you're going to treat him like a 10 year old again and tell him "no " because mommy or daddy knows best?

Now as a parent you do want to know if this is just a temporary infatuation or is this indeed a serious career choice. This is where the entire application process come into play. It's a tough four part process, that demands fortitude and persistence by the applicant. By design it weeds out the wheat from the chaff so to speak. There is roughly an 80% chance your darling smart son is NOT good enough to make it into USNA. How's that for a new thought? You darling son , NOT good enough..... A general statement about the cadets and midshipman that attend the service academies is "They are America's Best and Brightest" They are future leaders in not just the military, but in all a facets of society.

This is why you need to support him now. Respect his choice to start down this path. Be involved with him in the application process, proof read his essays, give him suggestions on how to present himself in the best light. Discussion of Plan "B" schools is a natural part of the process. If his interest starts to wane, the process will naturally weed him out and you will be there to guide him to alternatives. You also must realize you are not alone in this process. In one form or another we have all been where you are now. Even though you got flamed a bit for this post, keep asking questions. You may not like all the responses but someone will provide information that will be helpful.

Best of luck and it is one hell of a ride!

Parent of a 2011 graduate and Marine Corps 2nd LT
 
I appreciate all point of view and your role of moderator. I am sorry that my statements were offensive to some, but they were meant to be, so i am ok. Overall, it is a great forum and has been really helpful. thank you.. Kazi
 
Congratulations to you. And, thank you so much for sharing. Kazi
 
I am sorry that my statements were offensive to some, but they were meant to be, so i am ok.


Wow...so much for kindness:confused:
 
I am sorry that my statements were offensive to some, but they were meant to be, so i am ok.

I think perhaps it was a typo. Grrrrr I make typos at the most inopportune times as well...Sometimes my postings have trouble with more than mere taste, judgement, and knowledge -- Sometimes it's sheer luck that I spell corektly.

I think maybe they meant to type:

I am sorry that my statements were offensive to some, but they were NOT meant to be.
 
I would just say that in our case we support our DS and we didn't send him into harms way. We sent him to Annapolis. If he is ever in harms way, a possibility not an inevitability then it was his decision, not ours.

Logically, if you look at the number of people in the military and the number of casualties you are NOT sending them to their doom. It is the ultimate worse thing that could happen to them-or is it? How about living a lifetime knowing your heart told you to go and you didn't. Only they can decide and it is their life. Of course you love and support them but once the decision is made, do not put doubt in their mind and make them second guess. Just be there, answer their questions and help them find their way.

We were lucky enough to have wonderful support in our area and a great USNA grad & former Navy Seal speaker, Clint Bruce. He said something that has stuck in our minds and gives us clarity. He congratulated the parents and said, "this is what happens when you give us good clay, the price of raising great kids is they want to do great things, so I'm sorry...but thank you because you've given us good clay".

The academy's are there to train and educate the future leaders of our military and country. You should feel very proud that your kid feels that calling. As to whether you all ultimately decide to go that route do not feel like you are making their decision...you are trusting their decision.
 
Kazi, your questions are completely rational and normal for a parent who loves their child, and is not familiar with the risks associated with serving our country as a military officer. Most parents feel the same way, at least my wife did when my DD wanted to apply to NROTC and AROTC.

Really, is this any different from your son saying he wants to join the Peace Corps to serve in dangerous Columbia, or to enter Seminary to become a priest, or to go to Hollywood to pursue an acting career? Basically anything he might like but you would not pick for him?

At 18 he is a legal adult, and may choose to do anything he wants, without parental approval. That includes attending a service academy, or an ROTC program. Of course you are not legally obligated to contribute to him financially, which is often the leverage parents hold over choices their kids make that are against their wishes. Money = control.

Anyway, my nephew was valadictorian at his elite HS here in Socal, chose not to attend UC Berkeley, and accepted his appointment to the Naval Academy. He ultimately graduated near the top in Engineering, and is currently at MIT in a fully funded Masters in Aeronautical Engineering program and working at a DOD financed laboratory. In about a year he'll be at Flight school. So, lots of smart kids go to all five Academies. Incidentally, the quality of his educational experience in the classroom and Labs at the Naval Academy gained him his choice of graduate Engineering program... Stanford, MIT, Berkeley, a University in Switzerland whose name escapes me at the moment, etc.
 
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