I think much of this debate boils down to perspective...he said/she said. Winston Churchill's quote - "history is written by the victors" comes to mind. All the accusations being levied could apply to the BCT experience that my son had and related to us. No different than the OP's son's claim. But for whatever reason, he wanted it enough to persevere when some others didn't. As a result, I / he / we see the harshness of the experience as a necessary part of the training and of value to cull those without the mental toughness and desire to persevere through extreme hardship and self doubt. They are grooming these young people to lead in WAR...this is not a tryout for a school sport or play. If my son had instead chosen to separate due to the harshness and cadre / BCT induced self doubt, I have no doubt we would have a much different perspective due to the emotions involved and the sense of loss/grieving we would be going through...denial, anger, bargaining/blaming...
This is a reasoned observation. Just to be clear on my perspective, I have an upper class youngster at a SA who is doing quite well, so my observations are not coming from a perspective of grieving/loss/denial/anger. Also understand that I have nothing against extremely rigorous physical/emotional training. The more, the better. If a trainee screws up, IT them. If they keep screwing up, keep ITing them. Trainees understand this, Cadre understand this, all is good. What keeps trainees going through all of this is the desire to reach an end goal, but even more, is the knowledge that there is a squad-mate/ship mate there next to them subject to the same discipline and same hardships. Those who really want to be there can generally endure this. If a trainee is deemed unworthy by the Cadre, however, and intense yelling and IT sessions aren't enough to induce the trainee to DOR, then the Cadre will work diligently to remove one of the two supports upon which that trainee is relying to persevere: the misery loves company principle. I'm assuming that at every SA, the trainees are bombarded with the idea that they can't do it alone. You have to rely on your shipmates and squad mates. Unscrupulous Cadre will turn this principle on its head. They will isolate the unwanted trainee from the rest of his/her squadmates/shipmates. They will actively try to turn the other trainees against the target. They will IT the squad while the target trainee is told to sit on a bunk. They will isolate the trainee during meals, forcing them to sit at the cadre or regimental command table. They will be told to sit and watch IC sports activities. They will be told that they have no friends. They will be told that they will never have friends and that all of their squad mates/shipmates hate them because of all of the extra punishment that they have had to do because of the target trainee's transgressions. They will be told that their squadmates want them to be gone. They will be told that even if they persevere through the training period and join the corps of cadets, they will have no friends or companionship. They will be made to feel that not only are they currently pariahs, but that they will always be pariahs. The isolation will be so complete that the target trainee will have little or no opportunity to interact privately with shipmates/squadmates to determine if what the Cadre are telling them is true. Interestingly, nothing here is "against the rules."
Ah, but some will say, the trainee has recourse. There are counselors. There are senior officers and enlisted personnel who will intervene. But this also works against the trainee. Trainee seeks time to meet with a counselor/chaplain then unscrupulous cadre will merely point out to the remaining trainees, "see, trainee X is a shirker. You're all here sweating like beasts, while he's sitting in a nice air conditioned office talking to a chaplain." If trainee goes up the chain of command, then trainee will be painted as an unreliable "rat" that somehow violated some non-existent "code". The abusive behavior may at this point end, but the damage has been done. The trainee has been isolated emotionally from the rest of his squad mates.
Just to be clear, at this point it is not the Cadre's punishment that induce the trainee to leave, but the belief that they will never have all of the cameraderie that seems so integral to the SA experience.
