- Sep 27, 2008
Clearly, eloquent and observant Weasley was related to the late, justly lauded diarist Sir Sameowuel Pawpys.View attachment 6715
This is our cat, Weasley, the original grumpy cat, who kept a diary of his captivity on and off for many years as a way to ruminate on methods of escape as well as comment on our unfathomable dimness. I would often send entries to "the boy" while he was away at boarding school and, later, USMA. Weasley's observations were a favorite of his company. Here are a few entries:
Day 1,827 of my captivity
The house is quiet with the boy off at camp. I can sit on the window seat in his room undisturbed except for that rotten stuffed cat who thinks he owns the boy's bed. He swiped at me the other day and has no idea that I could rip him to shreds with my hind claws and bite his stuffed head off with my lion-like teeth. In fact, I think I will do that. Right after I finish staring out the shutters at the insane little dog who is doing his business on the fake front lawn. The man and the woman hate this but can't figure out who is doing it or how to stop it. I keep telling them, but they never listen. The woman just says Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Who can understand this?
Day 1,828 of my captivity
The woman's crazy music is driving me nuts. I think it drives the man nuts, too, and that is why he is away so much. I don't mind the man. He is kind of furry, so I think he may be a relative. The woman stares at paper a lot and refuses to brush me as often as I require. So I drop balls of fur on her carpet and sit on her paper which causes her to say, Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. She is dim. Perhaps I will rip her to shreds with my hind feet, too. Oh wait, she is petting me. Ahhhh. I especially like the chin rub. I will wait and destroy her tomorrow.
Day 2,192 of my captivity
Spent the night prowling for bugs. There never are any. Bugs fear me and stay away. Jumped up on the bed and poked at the woman during the night. She does not move. I can't reach the boy at night as he is behind a door. He doesn't open the door until mid-day, and then he comes looking for me. He will never find me. I am clever. Eventually, he provokes the monsters in the box on the wall. They will never go away if he does this. The monsters only stay in the box because they fear me. The boy does not understand this.
Day 2,193 of my captivity
The boy chases me around the house with a long, pointy noisemaker. I run under the bed as he is too tall to go there, but he lurks. I run to other places, but he continues to chase. Who can understand this behavior? Eventually he tires and turns on the big box where the monsters live. He is in danger. I will bite the monsters and rip them to shreds with my hind feet if they ever venture outside of the box. The boy should not provoke them.
(…as our son left for boarding school)
Day 2,194 of my captivity
I sleep and keep watch from the top of the dining room buffet. They do not see me here, but I see all they do. In my sleep, I plan my escape. I have abandonded the suitcase plan. They keep removing me. I don't understand why this works for the boy's stuffed animals and not for me. I lay just as still, but they they always discover me. Oddly, there are no stuffed animals this time. They now live in a box on a shelf in the boy's room. They do not understand that this box never leaves. They are very dim. I am pretty sure the bear made his escape in a large box that left the house last week. I must think about how he pulled this off.
Day 2,196 of my captivity
The boy has been sleeping on the couch lately, in the same room with the monster box. They don’t appear if he is not staring at the box. I keep watch, nonetheless. Monsters are crafty.
(…when DS returned on a break)
Day 2,544 of my captivity
The boy has returned!!!! The bear has returned!!!! The man and the woman are crazy happy. What is this? I thought they had escaped forever. The boy must have left in search of the bear and found him. I knew the bear was dim. He must not have hidden himself very well. The boy is always victorious. He has been gone long enough to grow as tall as the man. This makes the woman sad. She thought the boy would stay small. She is dim.
The diary continued until Weasley was 14, and we had to make the hard decision to put him down due to kidney disease during our son's Cow year. He got a final FaceTime with his beloved pet. I think it was the first time he'd cried in years.
Thank you for making me go back and relive some of these memories. And thanks to @Capt MJ for the link to the "Henri, Le Chat Noir” videos. I loved every one of them. Weasley was not so sophisticated.