So I was given a 3 year scholarship with the army last year. I am a freshman in college right now and the only way I can afford to attend my school was because I thought I would have my other 3 years paid for. I have a possession of marijuana charge that I got as a minor and I disclosed this and everything to cadet command when I was applying, I went through the waiver process and they granted me the 3 year AD scholarship. This past Thursday I was called down to the ROTC department and when I went in one of the sergeants there said he had some bad news that they were taking my scholarship away because cadet command didnt approve my waiver. Not only that but they said I couldn't commission either, regardless if on scholarship or not. How can they do this? I have worked so hard to get to where I am and this totally destroys all my life goals. I haven't told my parents either because I am so ashamed. I know they can't pay for my college so I am trying to find out what to do. The sergeant said for me to improve my grades and PT score and try again at the end of the semester but is he just bullshitting me or what? I just need some advice right now.
Here's what I think you should do:
Step 1: You need to talk to your parents about this as soon as possible. It may be uncomfortable and embarrassing, but bad news doesn't get better with time. You have a TON of issues to contemplate and decisions to make very soon (e.g., financial aid, etc.) that will materially affect the rest of your life going forward. You cannot do this alone. I am confident that your parents will love you and stand by you in this situation. Sure, they will be mad, but that will wear off over time. Do NOT delay telling them. They can provide MUCH better advice than anyone here. Regrettably, not telling your parents immediately after the incident may have been your biggest mistake because they might have been in a position to do something about it (such as asking the judge to dismiss the charges if you agreed to perform community service, etc.). You seem to have handled this matter on your own at that time. Do NOT make that mistake again. I think you know this already.
Step 2: Continue to remain totally candid and honest with your cadre and listen to them. Second-guessing their motives is not helpful. There are times when you simply have to blindly trust people who care about you. This is one of those times. Also know that you are no longer in high school and you have to live with the consequences of your actions.
Step 3: Ask your PMS whether the decision is final or whether there is an appeal process for adverse CC decisions of this sort and whether this is an outright bar to commissioning (contact ClarksonArmy or Marist College ROTC, who might know this). Although I really have no idea about the procedures here, inform yourself about them before you speak with the PMS so you can speak about the issues intelligently and have a little bit of knowledge to ask the right questions. Above all, make sure that you have exhausted all appeals through Cadet Command before you give up (personally, I would find it hard to believe that there isn't an opportunity to be heard on this matter). There may be a time limit of 30 days within which to appeal -- do NOT miss that deadline. Again, ClarksonArmy or Marist College ROTC can advise MUCH better that I can on this subject.
Step 4: After you have fully disclosed everything to your parents and cadre, you should also contact a lawyer (call the local bar association for a referral -- many lawyers will do this for free to help you out). Since you were a minor, you should ask your lawyer to help you have your juvenile record expunged. The law recognizes that minors make mistakes and provides paths for them to set things right again (your lawyer can advise you on this). Expungement will mean that you will have to appear before a local judge and explain that you are not a bad person. He or she will likely find it persuasive that you have sought to serve your country and have truly learned from this incident. Actually, if you have a good judge, he or she will bend over backwards to help you set things right again.
Step 5: Whatever decision CC ultimately makes, live with it and move on with your life. Dwell on the future, not the past.
Step 6: Keep reminding yourself that things happen for a reason. This will get you through some very difficult situations.
Step 7: Learn from your mistake. You seem to have already accomplished this step.
Step 8: Never put yourself in this position again.