I'm currently a cadet at USAFA in the class of 2012 (HAP!). I just wanted to put in my two cents. Freshman year was not that bad. I have only been Recognized about a month now, so I still remember it well. All you have to do is try your best and DON'T VIOLATE THE HONOR CODE. You spoke about free time and individuality. Honestly, during the week academics will take up most of your time, but there are a whole bunch of clubs that you can join as an outlet. Also, you said that you don't want to look back ten years down the road and wish that you had gone the other way. I can tell you that if you take the Academy route, AND you actually make it through, then you will never look back. They say that the strongest steel is forged in the hottest fires, my friend. But don't worry. It's not 4 years of hell like you think.
Here is the best way to describe USAFA. The first year is like getting hit in the face really hard all day every day. The next three years you're not getting hit at all. At other service academies, it's like getting hit in the face gently for all four years. I hope you understand.
Monetarily, everything is provided for you here. Mitch's has better food than pretty much any civilian school, too. If you want a sense of purpose and belonging then come here. You will make the best friends you've ever had at usafa. Shared adversity. If you go to a civilian school, you may feel that you're missing something. There was once a guy to visit my squad who was a freshman in AFROTC. He was applying to usafa for the class of 2013 I believe. I asked him why he would do that and give up a year of college. He said that all he had learned in the whole year was how to put up a flag and how to wear the uniform. Apparently, they didn't do pt, field exercises, or much of anything. I'm not saying that every ROTC branch is like that, but you certainly won't get the same type of military experience that usafa can offer.
You say that you don't want to be molded by others? Individual leadership styles are encouraged here. I've heard it a thousand times, "Watch the people above you. Take what you like and leave behind what you don't. Form your own leadership style from that."
In conclusion, I want you to know that it will be hard if you choose to come here. It's supposed to be that way. You WILL want to quit at some point, and in that moment you'll find out what kind of person you are. If you have the right attitude, then you can accomplish anything at usafa. Believe me. Good luck in making your decision. Maybe I'll see you with the Doolies next year.