DS plebe needing psychiatric services "beyond" WP

[BlueHen2005]

"mental care" really… I understand your son is new to the environment but it's already second semester. He really has to just toughen up. Ive visited West Point and will be attending soon and its honestly not that bad. I think that this might not be the right environment for him if he's already struggling. This is no diss to your son as many people are born and raised with different temperaments and I have no doubt that he is smart seeing as he got into WP. He will be commissioned as an officer and be forced to serve active duty at the minimum until 2036 should he continue. If he really just doesn't like the program its would be better for him to leave and enroll in a nice state uni. Don't let sunken cost cause him to do something he can't handle and exacerbate his mental health issues.

Tbh though he might be fine and just be ranting to you as an outlet since family are really the only people cadets can freely complain to. Encouragement will help him a lot more that feeding into his "depression". If he is a competitive person he can also be motivated by the fact that he was selected by our nation, few will have a service academy experience and the grit that comes with it, and people less mentally and physically capable than him have made it through a harder West Point (violent hazing, no modern amenities, etc) and made it out just fine.

Please just try to encourage instead of feed into this mental health stuff as it inadvertanly just brings down his morale.

Wow. As someone who seems to want to be a future officer, dealing with the mental health of your charges is going to be part of your job. West Point prides itself on leading people. A great leader knows when to use a kick in the butt or words of encouragement. What will you do when a superstar corporal under you suddenly turns into mental wreck because he just received a “Dear John” letter from his wife while deployed? Will you tell him, “Mental Care? Really?”

Amazing. Hurtful, massively insensitive, and a knowledge base gained in one visit and under 23 years of life experience.
Please enjoy your Beast Barracks this Summer if in fact you do attend. I would also encourage you to speak to the Master of the Sword and explain just how much grit you have and the extraordinary level of toughness you possess. He'll be impressed!

Best!

 

[Zaphod Beeblebrox]

You’ve used a pretty broad and unflattering brush here. As a mental health professional who spent almost ten years post college in training, who spent almost a decade working in military and VA settings, I can assure you that none of us are getting rich in this field, and we carry the wounds of our patients close to our hearts for years after they leave treatment. Any remotely decent therapist celebrates for their patient when they no longer need therapy.

That was a broad brush and certainly unfair. I had just read an article that kids today are getting over medicated and over counseled resulting in less resiliency. I do believe in the old adage that when you're a hammer, every problem looks like a nail and I suspect some counselors end up pandering. For profit was a terrible description of my concern.

 

[d90]

I urge all of us to use this forum to inform and uplift each other. Let's be careful to not let ourselves tear each other down.

 

[usna1985]

USNA grad here. There are more USNA grads from the 2010s and 2020s dying each month than my classmates, who are 40+ years older. Sadly, most of those are suicides.

Mental health issues among young military members are real. Kudos to this young man for reaching out for help and to the Army and his parents for helping.

Others have provided useful advice, which I won’t repeat. Wishing the best for a successful outcome.

 

[Helen737]

"mental care" really… I understand your son is new to the environment but it's already second semester. He really has to just toughen up. Ive visited West Point and will be attending soon and its honestly not that bad. I think that this might not be the right environment for him if he's already struggling. This is no diss to your son as many people are born and raised with different temperaments and I have no doubt that he is smart seeing as he got into WP. He will be commissioned as an officer and be forced to serve active duty at the minimum until 2036 should he continue. If he really just doesn't like the program its would be better for him to leave and enroll in a nice state uni. Don't let sunken cost cause him to do something he can't handle and exacerbate his mental health issues.

Tbh though he might be fine and just be ranting to you as an outlet since family are really the only people cadets can freely complain to. Encouragement will help him a lot more that feeding into his "depression". If he is a competitive person he can also be motivated by the fact that he was selected by our nation, few will have a service academy experience and the grit that comes with it, and people less mentally and physically capable than him have made it through a harder West Point (violent hazing, no modern amenities, etc) and made it out just fine.

Please just try to encourage instead of feed into this mental health stuff as it inadvertanly just brings down his morale.

This is horrible advice. Sorry. But dang

 

[OldRetSWO]

USNA grad here. There are more USNA grads from the 2010s and 2020s dying each month than my classmates, who are 40+ years older. Sadly, most of those are suicides.

I just was talking about this with my wife in the context of the students we teach. I related that in all of my time at USNA which spanned 4 yrs and interfaced with 7 different classes, there were zero suicides and that was a time with a lot more "plebe indoctrination" (hazing) and a very adversarial relationship in general along with 35%-40% attrition. Sadly, there is not a zero suicide experience at USNA today even with the much greater emphasis on mental health and midshipman wellbeing. I don't know the answer but do know that the military including Service Academies are a reflection on the US society at large and I see and hear about suicides quite a bit these days.

 

[A1Janitor]

I just was talking about this with my wife in the context of the students we teach. I related that in all of my time at USNA which spanned 4 yrs and interfaced with 7 different classes, there were zero suicides and that was a time with a lot more "plebe indoctrination" (hazing) and a very adversarial relationship in general along with 35%-40% attrition. Sadly, there is not a zero suicide experience at USNA today even with the much greater emphasis on mental health and midshipman wellbeing. I don't know the answer but do know that the military including Service Academies are a reflection on the US society at large and I see and hear about suicides quite a bit.

Social media is a large contributor in society.

 

[Monikat]

Thank You, So I figured out why I couldn't find the Mom's group, I'm for some reason "blocked" from seeing it. I'm the father, I'm in the Dad's group as well as the 2027 group. My wife logged in with her account and was able to view it. I'm assuming someone there is keeping tabs on blocking the fathers??

I don't think they are blocking fathers per se--they are blocking everyone who is not a mom of a cadet. So to view the website, applicants have to answer questions about themselves and their cadet, which your wife at one point must have answered.

There is also a book you can get on amazon that is quite helpful called The Mom's Guide to Surviving West Point. Written by WP moms and marketed to WP moms---but info that is very helpful to all parents.

 

[DrMom]

I don't think they are blocking fathers per se--they are blocking everyone who is not a mom of a cadet. So to view the website, applicants have to answer questions about themselves and their cadet, which your wife at one point must have answered.

There is also a book you can get on amazon that is quite helpful called The Mom's Guide to Surviving West Point. Written by WP moms and marketed to WP moms---but info that is very helpful to all parents.

If he is blocked it is because at some point he attempted to join--as not a mom.

 

[Georgia Hokie]

I don't think they are blocking fathers per se--they are blocking everyone who is not a mom of a cadet. So to view the website, applicants have to answer questions about themselves and their cadet, which your wife at one point must have answered.

There is also a book you can get on amazon that is quite helpful called The Mom's Guide to Surviving West Point. Written by WP moms and marketed to WP moms---but info that is very helpful to all parents.

This seriously seems a bit outdated for 2024. As a dad who typically does more of the volunteer roles with kids clubs, etc (wife's schedule is much less flexible) I would say it's past time to move on from "Mom's clubs" and onto "Parent's clubs". Not a hill I'm willing to die on...I just join groups that are open but food for thought.

 

[vipercrew]

This seriously seems a bit outdated for 2024. As a dad who typically does more of the volunteer roles with kids clubs, etc (wife's schedule is much less flexible) I would say it's past time to move on from "Mom's clubs" and onto "Parent's clubs". Not a hill I'm willing to die on...I just join groups that are open but food for thought.

As a dad of a cadet, I find it very helpful to have BOTH a dads page AND a mom's page. Apologies for a generalization, but... the mom's page is geared towards not only an informational page, but also a support page for mom's who often process their child going off to an SA differently than dads do. Again, I am not saying dad's arent sad when their kids go off to the SA, we often just process it differently. You can ask the same question on the dad's FB page, and will likely get the same supporting information, just from a dad's perspective.

 

[Mallard Duck]

Wow. Attack after attack attack after attack on Jj323whatever. Enough already. He was answering a different question than what the OP asked. He's a kid and did not understand context.

That said....mental and physical toughness is a non-negotiable requirement to lead men under fire. This is non-negotiable. THIS IS NON-NEGOTIABLE. I'm guessing few who posted here have been in sustained direct combat. I'm not saying there aren't issues to work through...I see a counselor ounce a month and still have regular flashbacks. But that only underlines the point that you have to be tough (and I mean TOUGH) starting out. I sent many "leaders" back to BIAP or back home because they couldn't take it and endangered themselves and others.
Hopefully this kid gets through this. He's got time to recover and there's no reason he shouldn't he the next Patton.
It is a terrible trend to overmedicate and overcompensate for kids these days. Hopefully he just needs an ice pack and not surgery. It is worth noting that mental health professionals are for profit and for many of them a patient,'s worst case outcome is a best case for them.
Anyway, there is a point where you cowboy the f up. You can debate when that point is but don't any one of you dare dispute that this point exists and that it is the ultimate objective of every commissioning program in every service to lead and inspire not just when the going gets tough, but when the going is bone crushing.

Yeah, there is a lot of poison on this forum at times. -- That being said, there is a lot of love as well. Sometimes the latter can be misdirected and lead to craziness.