jlwilkes101
5-Year Member
- Joined
- Jul 26, 2010
- Messages
- 73
For the first time in my life, I feel as though everything I've always worked for is crashing down around my ears. Before this year (junior year), I had always taken the most challenging classes, been elected class president, lettered in sports (track, xc), etc. I got great grades. So at the beginning of this year, I decided to push myself until I collapsed, and I took on multiple leadership roles in mulitple organizations, got involved in more extracurricular activities, and got more serious about running. The one thing I didnt realize is that sleep time is not the same as free time, and cannot simply be filled up with other activites. So my year began with me spending most of my sleeping hours doing homework (since I got home late every night). This worked out great for a while, but eventually I got so exhausted that it took me forever to do work, meaning less sleep, meaning more exhaustion, and so on. Eventually I decided to move sleep as a priority over any homework that i physically couldnt do late at night, and i prioritized my homework so that the important stuff would get done first, and busy work if possible. Unfortunately, my school's grading system gives busy work a lot of weight, and i couldnt accept my grades dropping, so i went back to my old system, only this time id fallen behind, as well. And then i got sick (lack of sleep probably led to that), and i fell further behind, and as i tried to get that done, i fell behind on the new stuff. And as i watched my grades drop, I tried harder and harder to get everything i could done, but that just led to problems with tests, as i couldnt concentrate in school after a week of no sleep. Everything fell apart one day when I pulled a virtual all nighter (45 minutes of sleep), went to school, had literally literally 5 tests, 3 of which I couldnt keep my eyes open for. And so i watched the grades i had tried so hard to keep up collapse because i had exhausted myself trying to keep them up. I was accepted into NHS today, but was too depressed to care because report cards came out at the same time. And although ive tried to explain to my teachers what is going on, im terrified that they mistake my exhaustion for a lack of interest in their classes. All my past teachers have told me they would love to write me recommendations, but im afraid my teachers this year dont see me the way they did. And let me tell you, its depressing.
But I have gotten a lot out of this year. I've learned the importance of time management, planning, and organization (i just learned it too late). I've leanred the importance of prioritizing. And I've learned a lot about the importance of integrity; many of my classmates have also found difficulty with this year, but have basically cheated their way through it. I made the decision early on that it doesn't matter if I make it into West Point if I do so dishonestly, because if one day I'm stationed in a desert somewhere in Afghanistan, I wont have my 11th grade transcript with me; ill have my integrity or nothing at all.
But basically, does West Point view those lessons as a valuable part of who I am? Because I honestly do not believe that I would be as strong of a candidate had I not experienced what I have this year. I know that Plebe year is supposed to feel like this, and if I hadn't had this struggle, I wouldn't be aware of what I need to know to get through it.
Sorry if this is long or rambling, which im pretty sure it is. Or confusing. As ive said, i havent really slept much in a while.......
But I have gotten a lot out of this year. I've learned the importance of time management, planning, and organization (i just learned it too late). I've leanred the importance of prioritizing. And I've learned a lot about the importance of integrity; many of my classmates have also found difficulty with this year, but have basically cheated their way through it. I made the decision early on that it doesn't matter if I make it into West Point if I do so dishonestly, because if one day I'm stationed in a desert somewhere in Afghanistan, I wont have my 11th grade transcript with me; ill have my integrity or nothing at all.
But basically, does West Point view those lessons as a valuable part of who I am? Because I honestly do not believe that I would be as strong of a candidate had I not experienced what I have this year. I know that Plebe year is supposed to feel like this, and if I hadn't had this struggle, I wouldn't be aware of what I need to know to get through it.
Sorry if this is long or rambling, which im pretty sure it is. Or confusing. As ive said, i havent really slept much in a while.......