Help with an essay for The Citadel

Discussion in 'Publicly and Privately Funded Military Colleges' started by coreyjames25, Feb 6, 2010.

  1. coreyjames25

    coreyjames25 New Member

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    I'm not the best writer, so i came here to see if anyone could revise/edit my paper. thank you for the help....

    I believe that every civilian has to help their country. That is why one of my main goals is to become a commissioned officer in the United States Marine Corps. There are a lot of men in my family who have proudly served this country and I believe it is not only my duty, but my time, to do so. This is why I believe, The Citadel, is perfect for me. But I also believe I bring a few unique qualities to the table, so to speak. Recently I spent a month in London, England during this time I had the unique opportunity to work for a Lloyd’s of London brokerage and, more importantly, I had the opportunity to become an apprentice to a Member of Parliament. Throughout my time there I saw how the political world functions. It sparked my interest; so next to serving my country in the literal sense I would also like to serve my country in a political sense.
     
  2. bruno

    bruno Retired Staff Member

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    Corey- sent you a PM
     
  3. tucker92

    tucker92 Member

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    I'll give a piece of advice to you, and to all students who are writing college or nomination or scholarship essays, the same advice I gave my kids by the time they were in seventh grade. Read your draft essay out loud. Or better yet, have someone read it out loud to you. A well written essay should sound well when spoken, too. Many times, for instance, you will catch fragmented or run-on sentences, subject-verb disagreement, or even punctuation issues.
     

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