My son is currently a Rat at VMI also....I too would highly recommend the overnight visits. VMI was at the top of my DS's list and did an overnight visit last fall...I went with and was highly impressed especially as the presentations were not 'sugar coated', they want to make sure the kids and parents involved have a clear picture of what VMI is about. There is a lot of information out there also...whether through forums such as this, you tube, facebook, etc. All the information out there can give you a pretty good idea of what goes on-the honor and tradition and being a Rat. (Although it feels different when you are actually there and experiencing it first hand)
The academics in my opinion are top notch and they work with the kids fairly extensively.
VMI is tough, the Ratline is tough and isn't for everyone. My DS thought he was fully prepared when we parted ways on Matriculation Day---within two weeks he was crying on the phone, exhausted, mentally drained and emailing constantly. I think the thing that has hit him the hardest is the lack of freedom and regimentation---can't go to bed when he wants, can't go to dinner when he wants, etc....with that being said, VMI is a terrific place and certainly some place to be proud of being there and getting through.
Parents Weekend is next weekend and although almost every day something 'sucks', he is still there
This weekend, he is out with the Army ROTC on some training exercise--saw the cadets involved taking off on the Chinooks yesterday via the webcams. VMI has had an overnight weekend already and apparently my DS was doing well enough as they assigned a potential kid to him for the overnight aspect; plus he was designated Chalk 2 Leader for the training exercises this weekend.