On the first Earth Day, scientists predicted the Earth would be 11 degrees cooler, 80% of the current animal species would be extinct, and the average life expectancy would be 41 years. So here's to Earth Day. But wait, Congress had some bright (pun) ideas for this planet as well. They banned regular light bulbs we use now (manufactured in Kentucky), and require in the near future that we all use the energy-saving "green" fluorescent bulbs... ...which are manufactured in China ...and contain Mercury that could poison anyone nearby if one breaks. So lets ship all these "green" light bulbs to America in gas-guzzling cargo ships, and when you're done with them (they break or go out), make sure you drive them in your SUV to the nearest recycling center, remembering the whole time, that you are, in fact, saving the planet.