Did you leave after your service commitment, or retire?
Retired after serving a little over 20 years. Was offerred a position that would have gotten me farther, but it also meant I would have had to ask my family to sacrifice even more (4 moves in 4 years, when my kids would all have been in HS). The scales for the first time tip in my families favor, and I walked without any regrets.
Did all go as planned? If not, what stands out in your mind that you would have done differently looking back?
NOTHING goes in a military career "as planned". Uncle Sam has a way of throwing curve balls at you every pitch, and all those well thought out goals and milestones you had thought out as a Lt turn to ash by the time you are a Capt. Did I envision I would get out of flying and jump out of perfectly good airplanes at my 5 year point? No way. Did I see myself serving in the Pentagon at my 13 year point? Un uh, and I would have laughed at you if you told me I would back when I was a Lt.
What would I have done differently? I can say with complete honesty "not a darn thing". I LOVED every job I had, every position I had. I LOVED the people I worked with, and the friends I made over the years. I still can't believe I was lucky enough to do some of the things in a fighter they allowed me to do (and I won't admit to "and some they didn't"
) I truly had a blessed career.
Well, if I had a say, perhaps I wouldn't have spent as much time in Korea.
Did you go back for grad degrees?
Got my Master's while a young Capt, taking night and weekend courses. Spent a few nights in the field with the Army writing term papers while I did it. Getting your Master's is a "square" to fill to make the higher ranks (only the VERY rare exceptions in the AF make O-5 without one). I also completed the AF's Squadron Officer School (7 week AF cheerleading Academy), the Army's Command and General Staff College (CGSG, my "year-long sabatical" from the "real" military), and the AF's Air War College (in seminar).
Frankly, if you stay in long enough, continuing your education is an expectation, and is something you'll comntinually do, either through a University system or the military's PME system.
What was the hardest part for your families while you served?
My not being there so often. Missing the holidays, and the birthdays. and the Anniversaries, and the First Communions, and the school recitals, and too many other things to count. I was lucky, Pima was strong enough to raise a family for the both of us, and she did a winderful job doing so. But I'll go to my grave with some regrets and a lot of guilt.
True story: while at Ft. Leavenworth for CGSG, I was all excited because I would finally be home for a Halloween Trick-or-Treating with my kids. The timing always worked out before that I couldn't be there for some reason (or war) or another; I had missed the last 8. I REALLY was looking forward to being there with them for this one, which based on the age of my eldest, I knew would be the last when all three would be dressing up and going door-to-door for. It wasn't even a question when it was getting close who would be their "pareent escort", as I flatly (and excitedly) told Pima, "this year, I'm going with them."
Well, we get to house #3, and eldest son says, "Dad, there are my friends. Can I go with them?" Reluctantly, I agree. Four houses later, middle child daughter says "Dad, there are my friends. Can I go with them?" Again, I reluctantly agree (after she turns her nose up at my idea of "why can't we join them?"). 4 houses later, and the youngest says, "Dad, I'm tired. Can we go home?" I walk in the door, watch him run away upstairs to eat his bag of candy, and turn to Pima with a broken heart and say, "that is something I missed out on, and I'll never get back..."
)
And did your civilian career closely mirror what you did in the military, or did you follow a different path?
Working in the Pentagon, in the "Fighter Mafia" division, making sure the next generation of AF fighters is what my buddies still in need to win the war and come home safely.
Yeah, while I'm not flying now, I'm still "supporting the team", and my new career requires a LOT of knowledge from my old career.
Lastly, what is the main piece of advice that you would offer to my generation going forward in a military career nowadays?
1) You got a choice. You can whine about the sucky things, but if that is the only thing you seem capable of doing, you're doing it wrong. LOVE what you are doing, even during those times you have to "embrace the suck". In fact, I would say that there is a part of EVERY DAY in your career that you can honestly say, "this isn't what I signed up for. I wish my job didn't include this!" For me, that was anytime I didn't get a chance to fly that day. But I also realized that I LOVED what I was doing. Can't even describe to you how much I LOVED every minute of it, even the "sucky" parts. If you focus on the whining instead of how much you love doing what you are doing, you not just making yourself miserable, you're making everyone around you miserable, and we'd all prefer if you were miserable somewhere else. This includes you military compatriots, your spouse (or soon to be ex-spouse), your boss, etc.
"Love what you're doing."
2) You'll answer to three separate "Masters" during your career: Uncle Sam, your family, and yourself. Find a way to balance serving all three equally, or you'll be in for a miserable career, marriage, or personal life (or all three). Pima GOT that I bled AF blue, but she also reminded me that while I may have ended up buried with full military honors, with all my AF mates and friends a the ceremony, the only ones who would be at my gravesite on the Anniversary of my death with fresh flowers every year was her and my family. Also, if you live to be 70, even a General would only be "in" the military for 30 of those 70 years; the other 40 is with your family. And if you sacrifice yourself to please either Uncle Sam, or your family, or both, you'll hate yourself (and the military and your family) for it.
"Find the balance."