Meloncoly Blues

Discussion in 'Service Academy Parents' started by osdad, May 30, 2011.

  1. osdad

    osdad Member

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    She just doesn't need use like she used to...

    My 3/C is home for a few days before embarking on her summer cruises. Bottom line: her home is in Bancroft and she's anxious to get back.

    Yes, I' m proud and amazed at the growth but damn I miss my little girl. :frown:
     
  2. bergmom

    bergmom Member

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    Ouch! We work so hard as parents to prepare our kids to be independent adults, but when they actually do set out on their own we are not ready to let go!! Not looking forward to the emotions that are coming...they grow up way too fast!
    Glad your daughter made it through her first year...we will be sending our son off June 30...looks like letting go on I-Day is going to be just the beginning :frown:
     
  3. singaporemom

    singaporemom Member

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    I hear ya osdad! I made a quick trip to Herndon just so I could hug my little boy! :redface:

    Since we lived overseas, we didn't see him for spring break. We are now back in the US but there was no chance for home visit between 0 and 1 blocks. Today he left Annapolis for Summer cruise. He'll be home end of June for 6 days and then will head to China for vacation.


    I'm having a hard time accepting the fact that my little guy who would dress up like a ninja .... just because he could .... is in uniform, boarding a ship right about now.


    I have his Plebe shoulder boards in my jewelry box.
     
  4. Luigi59

    Luigi59 Banned

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    :sadwavey:

    Just wait until she calls to tell you she's not coming home for Christmas/Thanksgiving/Spring Break/etc, as she and her friends have decided to go to Cancun/Vegas/Skiing/etc.

    That's when it really sinks in, seeing the empty chair at the table during a Holiday meal.
     
  5. singaporemom

    singaporemom Member

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    Just wait until she calls to tell you she's not coming home for Christmas/Thanksgiving/Spring Break/etc, as she and her friends have decided to go to Cancun/Vegas/Skiing/etc.

    That's when it really sinks in, seeing the empty chair at the table during a Holiday meal.


    Been there, done that with my oldest DS. NOT FUN! But, he got it out of his system..... I knew I had won that battle when he texted me on Thanksgiving year before last that he missed our pumpkin pie. :biggrin: You would not believe the over the top Thanksgiving we had last year... Hey, it's all I got to whoo them back home! A humungous Thanksgiving spread with enough pies and leftovers to last a week. It's all I got!!:redface:
     
  6. MIDNDAD

    MIDNDAD Member

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    Know exactly what you are going through. Being dad to an amazing daughter was the best job in the world for 18 years. I-day changed everything. Felt fantasticly proud and a horrible loss at the same time because you know things will never be the same. Plebe year and 3C year are the worst but then you get more used to the changes. The goodbyes still are not fun but they don't kill you. 2nd class and firsty years have so many milestones and new opportunities that you focus on those with her every step. There are moments of being dad again.

    Last week was graduation for her. It was a fantastic week of sites, sounds, personal awards, and pagentry. It was emotionally draining for everyone.

    - I get to see her in her dress blues for the first time at 6 AM on graduation morning. Had to leave the kitchen for a few moments before I lost it in front of the whole family.
    - After she recieved her diploma, it took her 10 minutes to get back to her seat because of all the hugs and congratulations from friends. It just reconfirmed for me that she has been exacly where she belongs for the past 4 years.

    Saying goodbye Sunday was not fun but the moment passed quickly and now we are planning for Warrior Day graduation from TBS.

    OSdad if I can survive so can you.
     
  7. AikiBudo

    AikiBudo Member

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    Wow. I'm choked up just reading this. My DS reports in several weeks and it is just starting to really sink in how different things are going to be around the house with him gone. He just had his Prom this past weekend and is off at the beach with friends for a couple of days then we will try and spend as much family time together as he can stand before sending him off!
     
  8. 2012mom?

    2012mom? Member

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    The comments in this post and the rest of the thread are SO true. I remember meeting my Mid's "sponsor sisters" nearly three years ago at a tailgater, when mine was a newly-minted Plebe. Last Friday I was able to watch my new Firstie rendered "first salutes" to both of her big sisters. Wow. Where have three years gone?

    MIDNDAD: Congratulations to your new officer (Navy or USMC?) and to your family. It really is bittersweet to miss our little girls (or little boys) at the same time that we celebrate their strengths and triumphs.
     
  9. MIDNDAD

    MIDNDAD Member

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    Marine

    One last piece that may help is all children have dreams. On Friday I witnessed the final piece of a 12 year olds dreams become goals that were achived one by one. She achived her childhood dream to become a Marine. Any hurt I had about missing my little girl was swept aside by seeing her take the oath of office on Friday.

    When it's your childs turn, it's a magic moment.
     
  10. AF6872

    AF6872 Member

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    What MIDNDAD said as we have gone the same route. Friday was tough but also great. They looked outstanding in the Dress Blues and also a long walk back after diploma with all the hugs and congratulations.
     
  11. bergmom

    bergmom Member

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    thanks!

    Thank you all for these great messages...we are about to send or DS to I-Day on June 30. The emotions are so overwhelming and you all have summed them up very well. I have never felt so proud, afraid, happy, sad, anxious and excited in my life!! Thanks for being there with comforting words for us "newbies"

    Also, congrats to all of you parents who made it through...sounds like your kids are on to great things...be proud!!
     
  12. MIDNDAD

    MIDNDAD Member

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    Your countdown clock is starting to race forward now. Advice for what it is worth;

    Try and spend a lot of time together as a family. Time will become a very precious commodity after I-Day. Leave time will be measured in days not weeks or months and summer leave will be measured in summer blocks. Enjoy these last few weeks of freedom.

    At the end of I-Day you will have about 60 minutes to say goodbye on Stribling walk. At the end do not be a weeping mom hanging on to your child as they form up to head off to Bancroft. Above all do not say anything about the detailers as they are listening.

    Last summer my Mid was Company XO and as the detailers were forming the plebes to march off, one weeping mom in particular was hanging onto her son and for whatever reason blurted out "OH baby, be careful of the detailers, especially the female ones as I hear they can be really mean".

    Well that was sauce for the goose. She promptly marched up beside that plebe, brought all the plebes to attention and bellowed out " Your time being mommies little precious just ended and it's time for all you F###### little girls to start growing up because as of this moment your F###### Asses belong to Us!" She told me the look of horror on that moms face was classic and she still laughs about it today. So don't be that mom. :smile:
     
  13. bergmom

    bergmom Member

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    Keep the advice coming!


    MIDNDAD...what a great story...that will certainly be my inspiration for keeping on a tough face (until after he walks away anyway!) We have a good friend that is a Marine and at our son's graduation he gave me these same words of wisdom. He said that our DS will need to have his "game face" on and that I can't be crying and hanging onto him...it will make it hard for him to stay focused for what is ahead! Not to mention that he would never forgive me if I caused his detailer to call him out like this!!

    I am treasuring every conversation with him these days...it is amazing how precious moments can be when you know they are not endless!

    Keep the great advice coming...I am definitely listening to every word!!:wink:
     
  14. SeaMars

    SeaMars Member

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    Agree - use your spouse, your friends, your dog to cry and talk about how much you'll miss your kid - out of his or her earshot. But do not load your kid up with worry and guilt about leaving you, on top of everything else there is to handle that first summer. You're the cheerleader for their dreams: in front of them, be selfless.
     
  15. singaporemom

    singaporemom Member

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    Very well said. When you see your DS or DD on Stribling walk they will be shell shocked. Be encouraging, listen with a bit of sympathy when they say "No, seriously, Mom, the detailers are MEAN!" but hand him/her their Subway sandwich and gatorade with a smile on your face. Quick hug and kiss and off they go. Cry later. In fact, I thought I was a terrible mom, because I didn't cry. Not when he checked in, not when I said goodbye. I just knew he could do it...and he did.
     
  16. MomoftheMagik

    MomoftheMagik Member

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    Totally agree with above posts. And don't be surprised if your kid is shell shocked! Mine had been preparing for this day for years, had attended NASS, thought he knew what to expect...But, when we got our few minutes at the end of I-Day, he looked like he had already been to Hell and had come back to tell us to beware! DS kept saying, "I don't know if I want to do this!" I had to be the strong one because DH was mortified to see his son so nervous, so I just kept telling him he could do it, try to keep a sense of humor, it would all pay off in the end...

    Not trying to scare you, DS is now a solid part of the Brigade of Midshipman and is growing and happy (most of the time :rolleyes:), but we really didn't think ours would have such a reaction to that first day. Just be ready for anything, and as others have said, be strong and supportive. The kid can do this...and so can you! :thumb:
     
  17. Lynpar

    Lynpar Member

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    I feel compelled to jump in, Splash! I appreciate the advice. As I have posted all over the forum ( yawn) DS is going it alone to Indoc. He has flown all over the country alone in the last year and had an opportunity to live several states away for a unique extracuricular lasting half of his junior year of high school. My point is, he has experience , as do I now, of us being apart. Yesterday he flew out to reunite with others from said activity and have a fun weeklong vacation. As he walked away from me at the curb of the airport departure line I was taken aback by what I saw. There was a young man walking ( almost sprinting, lol) away from me who was strong ( working out like a beast lately ), confident ( head held high), mature ( looked like the seasoned traveler ready to go shoeless and metal-free in seconds), who above all looked very happy! That is the picture I will have in my mind of him walking away. I love what opportunities lie ahead and I just can't wallow when what he has achieved will offer him so much a better start in his adult life than most of the population of kids age. Well done son! Exhale! Yes, I am ready for the " I hate this #*%+ing place" phone call. And yes I will bawl my eyes out at unexpected times like I did a few hours ago and DH said " what is wrong with you?" as I was sitting at the kitchen table reading my email. Y'all will be here on July the 6 th right? I might need you! :rolleyes:
     
    Last edited: Jun 10, 2011
  18. fencersmother

    fencersmother Founding Member

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    My Firstie son told me he might not come home for Christmas this year because he has a girl friend who lives 1000 miles (from here) and he wants to see her. She's also a cadet (and he can see her EVERY DAY!

    I told him he can go to HER house all he wants after they're married.

    Santa Claus is putting in an order for coal.
     
  19. blackhawkmom

    blackhawkmom Member

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    Have to add---kept it together for I-day for DS. He had a unique experience and sat from 8am to 3pm waiting for clearance. We saw him and he had done in like an hour what all else had done during the whole day. Shave /dress/ bag/shoes all while running down a line one detailer on his hiney the whole way thru.. Kept it together ---PPW---left before the "I'll be home for Christmas" music---had a rough plebe summer and an emotional PPW--kept it together til DS was out of sight----at Dalgren hyperventilated with sobs-- husband and DD thought they would have to call 911-lol looking back thank God I kept it together for DS. Now at almost a year later --many trials and disappointments--high points and schedule changes i have come to realize it is up to him--he is now very happy with his decision and it's not about my little boy but about my son -the man -the USNA student. Hard lesson ---but I am proud and very very glad i was supportive even when all i wanted to do was go get him and bring him home. Best advice i can give is ---love them enough to let them go.
    Asked son about bringing all his stuff home after 1st academic year and making sure his uniforms were taken care of---"Son where are all your uniforms "---"I had to turn them in to be altered"---"why son"---they need stripes sewn on mom.
    Figure these next three are to get Me ready for deployment -not him-lol
    hold tight dear friends hold tight!
     
  20. bergmom

    bergmom Member

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    Thanks Blackhawkmom...16 days and counting...all this is advice is really going to help me through I-Day, PPW and the entire plebe year...hard to think of all the trials and disappointments he has ahead but I guess I will just focus on the high points:thumb: One day at a time!!!
     

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