newusnamom
New Member
- Joined
- Jul 10, 2016
- Messages
- 2
PS struggling with shouting out rates correctly. Detailers belittling him isn't making it any better. Nerves start even before he starts. Any suggestions?
Thank you, agree with all, just cant stop wanting to be the mom with the bandaid!One of my best memories of my USNA tour of duty as a battalion officer, that relates to the situation above, was a basketball tournament banquet while traveling as Officer Rep with the women's basketball team. The seniors from the three other teams stood up and introduced themselves. They slouched, did not project their voices, spoke with varying degrees of confidence and clarity, used "like" and "ummm," as they said their names and majors in a variety of fields (many majors that don't exist at an SA), standing up and sitting down as quickly as possible. Most were vague about their post-college plans. Then the Navy firsties stood up straight in their service dress blues, spoke clearly and audibly, made eye contact as they addressed the room, projected confidence and strength, and introduced themselves with "I'm Midshipman First Class W.T. Door, majoring in Aeronautical Engineering and minoring in Chinese. I have service selected Navy aviation and hope to fly F/A-18 jets." They commanded the room. They gleamed with grit. I was grinning so hard it hurt, and coaches and hosting school officials came up to me later (since I was in SDB too) and expressed admiration for their composure and self-confidence. In the military, we call it "command presence." These firsties, once sweaty and anxious plebes all, went through the exact same hellishness as your son.
Thank you, agree with all, just cant stop wanting to be the mom with the bandaid!
Your son is learning a skill that may save his life and that of others one day, that of calm, flawless performance under pressure and relying on memorized sequences to survive. You cannot help him, except to express confidence he will succeed. Avionics fire in his plane, cockpit filling with smoke, one shot at landing on the carrier or punching out, voices in his earpiece, alarms going off - knowing what to do because of memorized drills and confidence gained. Fire at sea in an engineering compartment, everyone working as a team, laser focus, noise/heat/smoke/fear - knowing what to do because of memorized drills and confidence gained. And these aren't even combat situations.
I got yelled at because I had condensation on the outside of my window during a room inspection and was asked to explain it. At the top of my voice. With underlying scientific principles. While being constantly interrupted with comments about other things in the room. Yelling and criticism is part of the process, requiring the yellee to suck it up, clear the brain, shut out the static, deal with the anticipatory tension, focus on the required action and execute without hesitation.
Your son is learning a skill that may save his life and that of others one day, that of calm, flawless performance under pressure and relying on memorized sequences to survive. You cannot help him, except to express confidence he will succeed. Avionics fire in his plane, cockpit filling with smoke, one shot at landing on the carrier or punching out, voices in his earpiece, alarms going off - knowing what to do because of memorized drills and confidence gained. Fire at sea in an engineering compartment, everyone working as a team, laser focus, noise/heat/smoke/fear - knowing what to do because of memorized drills and confidence gained. And these aren't even combat situations.
He will dig deep and figure this out. It will be painful, messy and demoralizing. He will gain this skill, the ability to master tension, breathe deep and perform under pressure.
Those detailers, and generations of mids before him, had the same struggles. They are the ones now walking around the Yard with confidence.
As has often been said around SAF, you taught him to fly, now let him soar. That will also include some sloppy flying as he learns to trust himself.
PS struggling with shouting out rates correctly. Detailers belittling him isn't making it any better. Nerves start even before he starts. Any suggestions?