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[KPMum2012]

Question: What two things do all Army wives come home from Germany with?

Answer: A cuckoo clock and a baby.

(True for me and for all our friends we knew in Germany.)

So true! There's something in the water. For me it was the baby the first time. We made sure to buy a cuckoo clock on the second tour.

 

[kaullman]

Ship Selection Night

So for USMA, it's "Post Night" and you're picking a post
for USCGA it's "Billet Night" and you're picking your unit.
Not sure what USNA calls it, but I believe they pick a unit too.

USNA does it in two steps. Service selection night is when the firsties find out what community they will commission to. Surface Warfare Officer (SWO), Pilot, NFO, USMC Pilot, Subs, Spec War...etc. This happens in mid November.

Ship Selection night is when the SWOs and Submariners pick ships/boats, and Aviators choose API flight school dates. USMC selects all go to "The Basic School" Quantico, first, then into their MOS community.

USNA enjoyed Ship selection night last night (Thursday, 19 Feb 2009).

 

[Pima]

Base housing: How good or how bad is it? Does it improve as one goes up in rank? Is one service far better than another in this regard? I have heard AF has the best housing - true?

You made me laugh.

Yes, the AF has always been known for the best base housing, BUT don't expect anything less than a 1950's home that has been renovated. Typically, every base for company grade has the same floor plan, or at least evry base we were ever at (Mt Home, Alamogordo, Upper Heyford, Pope, SJAFB) It is @ 1500 square ft., may have a garage... may not! As you move up in rank the home becomes larger, not necessarily better. There are a couple of things to realize,

1. some base housing has waiting lists, esp. overseas it can take @2 yrs to move into one.
2. The amount of children, their sexes and ages play into how many bdrms you get. Reg is/was 2 children of opposite sex over the age of 7 quals you for a 3 bdrm, 3 children of the same sex under the age of 10 quals you for a 3 bdrm. So as you can see a 1500 sqft 3 bdrm home can become quite cramped quite fast.
3. Base housing is known for their lawn Nazis (you can get a nasty gram if your lawn is 1/4 inch too high) and some of them don't care that a hurricane just came through. We got a nasty gram for having no grass in a strip, irony is they dug up our yard only 2 days earlier...I mean grass seed can only grow so quickly.
4. Positive is you can keep the house as warm or cold as you want, you only pay for cable and phone.

The reason AF is known for their base housing, is the same reason they are known for putting families first. It costs a lot to train these guys, and a happy spouse means they are less likely to have an unhappy airman. Langley has for eons won the best military base housing award...again very long waiting list.

When we went to Leavenworth for PME as a Major(field grade housing is different than company grade) the ARmy base house was 1400 sqft for 4 bdrms. One of our friends who lived in it as a kid walked in and laughed, it still had the same cabinets 20 yrs later. The floor was what we called the commissary (think cheap linoleum and if it was humid it actually had condensation on it) There were no bathroom vanities just the pedestal style with metal legs...of course we also had to sign a waiver for lead paint too,

Military members typically rent or buy off base. The logic behind it is you work with these people, you might like them a lot, but do you want to live, breath and eat with them 24/7?

As you get much higher up in rank you will be required to live on base.

The trash thing is really about your trash can being packed, just like wear your shoes. They will send in about 3-4 people, one time I had 6, and these people just start packing without asking. So if they are packing up your kitchen, don't be surprised that they just take the whole garbage can and put it in a box with the garbage in it. The funny thing is they won't pack your liquids or spices, but trash no problem. The best thing to do is take whatever you don't want packed, including important things like med recs and orders and put them in your car. I can't tell you how many times I had to go back and search in boxes for stupid things ...like..our suitcases! I swear if the cat or dog didn't move they too would have been packed!

For all of you guys out there, make sure you count all of your CDs, DVDs and Xbox games, they have a habit of magically disappearing. In the end I always asked for a box and packed them myself...they put big PBO (packed by owner) or CP(customer packed) letters on them. In case anything breaks it is not insured, but who cares b/c it won't break whereas if it disappears it is depreciated.

For AF fliers your base will revolve around your jet. Strike Eagle say hello to ID, NC, UK or FL(but that is with a lot of jet time since it is test). You find out your jet at assignment night at UPT (huge party...get the mess dress ready) and then you find out you base at assignment night for FTU.


WAMom...we said that about England except it was China or antiques(couldn't afford both) and a baby (Bullet and I don't know one friend that was married that didn';t have a baby or at least get pregnant while we were in the UK)

More things to add on to the lesson list

No. 9. Never ever wear your cranium cover into a bar...and make sure your spouse or SO doesn't either.

No. 10 Always have a second flight cap somewhere you can get to it quick...can't tell you how many times Bullet ran around in the a.m trying to find it, only to have to stop at BX to buy a new one b/c he lost it somewhere!

No. 11 MOST IMPORTANT ONE Never, ever go to the commissary on Payday weekend, unless you enjoy spending 2 hours food shopping...of course it is comical to hear all of the guys with their wives changing the NEXT PLEASE computer voice into something else...hint it rhymes and right after the guys say that, the ones with old enough kids immediately "say oh Dad your gross!". It truly does lesson the pain of waiting in line. Also the little red parking spots in front of the meat are there for your shopping carts, use them unless you enjoy being glared at! Luckily for you guys the directional arrows no longer exist. It is also funny to watch them become quizzical when they hear the thunderbolts in the produce area. Commisary = Commisery

No.12 Never ever say the word for what is on the top of your shoulders, it is Cranium or a Skull, but it is never the word that starts with an H. Unless you want everybody to chime into a song.

No. 13 MY Favorite When you hear feet on your roof in the middle of the night make sure you find your water hose quickly...trust me it is the fastest way to get them down. Always have beer in the fridge...very hard to find a liquor store at 3 am. For fliers it is expected of you to do that when you get a new commander (typically only at FTU and UPT), it is a sign of endearment. I actually did it myself ONCE...that is how we found out about the water hose!

No. 14 If you move to Europe when your kids are about to get braces start them over there...it's free! Also there is a great tuition assistance program for spouses ovrseas so take that opportunity and have them complete their undergrad or Masters. TAP pd for 50% of my masters when we were in AK, without Bullet owing any committment. My girlfriend got hers through UMD in Germany. Also I am not sure if they still do this, but if you are deployed while overseas your spouse and family jump to the top of the line for Space A 1 or 2X a yr to return stateside.

No. 15 DON'T get a pet until you know your assignment...it is very hard to find rentals willling to take a dog, and if you go to the UK, they use to make you quarrantine them for 6 mos. That is very exp. Shipping the pet is also on your dime and airlines have regs about how cold and how hot it can be. You can't ship a pet by themselves, thus if it a 90 deg day in NC and you are to fly out to Lakenheath, you might not be able to leave. We faced that going to AK in Jan., it puts and added worry on you trying to have a back up plan.

 

[Just_A_Mom]

The Army now has a nifty program that allows you to "buy" your branch and/or post and/or grad school for an additional time commitment. It's called ADSO (Active Duty Service obligation).
If you agree to three addtional years for each ADSO you can significantly increase the chance of getting what you want. Now you can ADSO for Aviation as well as other branches.
For example - I just heard of a Firstie who ranked quite low in the class and really wanted infantry (the most popular branch of male cadets). He got Infantry for ADSO and agreed to 8 years AD. The at post night by the time they got to him the only post available was Ft Polk, LA. He did ADSO again for 3 more years and got Hawaii. So for Infantry and to be posted in Hawaii he is obligated to 11 years AD. But he is happy since he is counting on 20 yrs anyway.

 

[Pima]

That's a very interesting idea. Just a quick question, what happens if alot of people on the bottom start bidding, does it go back to class rank for winning or do they add on more yrs...i.e. 14 yrs instead of 11. Also can they do this for flying positions and then what happens if they wash out...do they still owe that large committment, or is it repealed back to the original?

 

[Just_A_Mom]

The program was developed to stem the tide of the officer resigning their commission after 5 years. The war years have taken a toll on junior Army officers. I don't want to get into a pissing contest about which service has "suffered the most" or this is "what they signed up for" blah blah.....
The facts are - Uncle Sam owes you for 5 years AD - for the Army IF you were lucky you got IRR for the 3 remaining. The Stop Loss did affect officers whose obligations were up. I am not going to buy into the argument that all grads should serve for 20 years. Life doesn't work that way and it is not unethical for a grad to leave after 5 years. If Uncle Sam wanted everyone for 20 years they would make the commitment for 20 years.
So many Army officers were fed up with being at war for 5 years, literally living out of a storage unit, not having any kind of family or social life that they were bailing out after 5 or 8 years.
With ADSO - newly commissioned officers have a chance to get what they want. Getting what you want makes for happy officers and a successful career.

BTW - you don't really think any infantry officer is going to spend 11 years laying on the beach in Hawaii do you?

Schofield Barracks deploys a lot. I would guess this young soldier won't spend more than a few months of his first 5 years actually in Hawaii.
What he was probably really after was to be in the 25th Infantry Division - Tropic Lightening, where he would see more "action" than at Fort Polk which is mostly a training post.

What is impressive about West Point cadets is that a number of them are picking their branch AND post so they will have the best chance of being deployed to a war zone. These young men and women are competing for spots that will take them INTO the fire - not away from it.

 

[Capt MJ]

NPS: The Three D's

Question: What two things do all Army wives come home from Germany with?

Answer: A cuckoo clock and a baby.

(True for me and for all our friends we knew in Germany.)

I LOL at this -- here's one for the Navy.
At the Naval Postgraduate School, you leave with one of the 3 D's. Dog, dependent or divorce! You finally have shore duty and can get a dog. You and your spouse determine that's the time to bring the baby onboard when both parents can rotate diaper duty. Or, that person you married right out of school and then went to sea but have now really lived with for the first time, well,...

 

[Pima]

EVEARYBODY DUCK...IT's WABBIT SEASON

I do see both sides.

They want to be infantry and are willing to pay back for it. I also understand the theory of the fantasy never lives up to the reality.

ADVICE FROM A WIFE:

My life was about Bullet's career...we went wherever he felt it was the best opportunity. LET ME STATE THIS CLEARLY...IN THE DECISION PROCESS BULLET ALWAYS KEPT US IN MIND AND I ALWAYS PUT THE AF BEFORE THE FAMILY. (To such a pt at his retirement he talked about how I always said the AF was his wife, I was his mistress) Do not be shortsighted, always keep the next step of your career in your decision process. Don't take an assignment b/c it is a great place to live. You might love the area, but weekends are not the same as a work week. The friends you make will be why you love it.

We have gone to the not so hot spots of our country...Mt Home ID, is located 50 miles out of Boise...hopping city there, but we look back at those memories of feeling the heat off the pavement with love...it was where we found out that we were about to have DS1..it is where we did our first roof stomp....FT Bragg is where we first saw our sister services and how welcoming the Army was to us...Leavenworth was where we got to see that Kansas has a lot more to offer than corn...Seymour taught me that a hurricane can be fun...wives typically huddle in one home with all of the kids and pets while the guys take the jets to safety and play golf

We were truly blessed, there are people who know that at Bullet's retirement it was very emotional. It was emotional b/c we loved every lousy base/post we were ever at. We were saying goodby to the service, but more importantly it was saying goodbye to our friends that we met at those lousy bases.

I agree that bidding might have their flaws, but it might also increase the positive morale. The post/base location is not what will make you happy...it is the camraderie that you find there that will make you remember it in a positive light

REALITY is you will have to a sh*tty assignment...accept it and look for something great about it...Ft Polk..go see an LSU game...got to New Orleans...Eilson...Denali is gorgeous...Korea..great shopping

 

[Pima]

How my marriage lasted those years is beyond me at times....except to say that my wife has unending commitment.

To the younguns..find a spouse that understands the smile you get from doing what you are doing...Bullet would come home and say I can't believe they pay me to do this...at the same time as a young capts wife with 3 kids I was looking at 40 bucks left for the week until payday.

Out of respect for the AD I am keeping my promise...never to shop at the commissary during payday weekend...trust me it is infuriating to see retirees take all of the formula and diapers!

As a result, I am more than willing to stay put for awhile now as our youngest grows up. That is what she desires and after following me for the better part of our marriage….she deserves to have the say

You are all young, but one day you will feel this way...life does change, and I must admit that I did turn to Bullet and told him I don't want to litter our kids across the world. I called the ball...I said it is time to move on after 21 yrs. We now have a DS away at college in the AFROTC program, but I get the fact that our new home (moved in after retirement) will never be his home...his is in NC...our DD also as a jr in HS still sees NC as home.

I have seen more marriages fail in the military than I would ever want to see...there is a common thread among all of them...The spouse will have to give up their career every few yrs in support of the military member. 20 yrs ago..not a biggie, it was mostly wives and they then decided it was time to have a baby...now many spouses want to have a career and male spouses are giving up their chances for a career to follow the female AD member. ALso many spouses don't get the fact that you have no voice in the decision of where you will go. It is a different generation. It is hard for a college educated person to understand the innerworkings of the military...the more the spouse bucks or complains the worse it is for them...the cycle will continue to go in a downward trend.

TPG makes another great pt...those that will walk with you (spouses, parents don't count b/c they will not see the kids crying as you pull out of the driveway) will pay a steep price. Love is great, but if they can't survive being both parents, if she can't figure out how to change a tire, or expects you to help with soccer practice...re-think that relationship. Those are the easy things...kissing you goodby without falling down crying and making you believe we will be okay while you are in war torn area is hard. I have been there more than you count on 1 hand in a 20 yr period...add in the 120 day deployments and I am at over 2 close to 3

I know that a certain person can tell you that at Bullets retirement the most touching moment came from our DD and Bullet. He spoke about how they were butting heads(she was 16 at the time)...He went onto state that she hated the fact that he was always gone...he turned to her and said ALIX, I AM COMING HOME NOW...HE CALLED HER UP AND HUGGED HER...UNBEKNOWNST TO EITHER OF THEM THE MIC WAS ON AND SHE SAID i LOVE YOU DADDY...THERE WAS NOT A DRY EYE IN THE HANGAR (@200 people).

The importance of this story is that everybody who loves you wants you to live this dream...make it the best, b/c those of us on the outside sacrificed for you. Come home everyday and say I am so happy! Keep believing in what you are doing, it makes it easier for us to know that we are supporting your dream.

YOU WILL NEVER BE PAID ENOUGH ...however, you also will never enjoy life as much, make better friends and feel better about yourself.

 

[Christcorp]

We can talk about all the things to do after the military; but the truth is; some of us (ME) really misses the Air Force. I specifically retired ONLY so my children didn't have to move around anymore. Even if I took a remote so the kids could stay in school, they would have to move to another stateside base after the remote. I didn't want to put the kids through it anymore. That's also why my wife and I started having kids AFTER being married a little while. This way the kid's high school years could be stable after I retired. But I really do miss it. I had already been in 3 years when I got married. Both of us LOVED the military life. Even all my TDY's. We've now been married going on 27 years. We're still each other's BEST FRIEND. When you move a lot, you will have a lot of friends all over the world; but you and your spouse (kids) are the ONLY stable relationship you will ever have. S/He needs to be your best friend. Everyone needs a "Best Friend". If it isn't your "Military" spouse, then you're not going to really have a "Best Friend". Moving every 2-3 years makes that impossible. later.... mike.....

 

[Capt MJ]

We were a dual-military couple. Not once in 12 overlapping years did we get to have a Valentine's Day together, in addition to various birthdays, holidays, etc., due to deployments and other Needs of the Navy. Like good military people everywhere, we just re-scheduled the event and cheerfully celebrated Valentines Day on a day when our lats and longs aligned! We both miss it, all the good parts and even some of the hilarious-in-retrospect bad parts, but certainly don't miss the middle-of-the-night calls about an operational incident.

On the HHG sea story front... we had a 2-section white leather sofa come in a HHG shipment from CA to MD, out of interim long-term storage in CA. We saw it properly packed up into sealed crates at the origin. Truck arrived in Annapolis, only one section of the sofa emerged from the truck. Some swift calling back to CA (I bow down to Navy Supply Corps Officers and their buddy network), and a DOD Personal Property Office inspector sent to the warehouse discovered the other piece had somehow ended up in the warehouse workers' lounge. Got reimbursed for the whole sofa, after having some go-rounds to convince the HHG people that shipping a filthy used white sofa piece would not an acceptable sofa make, nor could "making do" with the remaining piece be satisfactory. We took photos of major stuff going into long-term storage, so we wouldn't forget what we had during the 2 years we were in HI. Saved the day when we could produce a photo of the infamous 2-piece white sofa.

 

[Pima]

FOR ALL OF YOU...FOLLOW BULLET'S BELIEF... CHOOSE WISELY

Your spouse will be your anchor, beacon or lifeline. You choose wisely they will get the fact and not be jealous that your love is the military...in actuality they will thrive in that fact!

Your spouse needs to understand that they may be alone for the birth of a child, those special occasions like communion, graduation might be missed, but their military family will encompass them with love.

Bullet will tell you about how he never was there for the kids for halloween, and when he finally was they DUSTED HIM! DS 2 was 6 mos old, the next time he was home he was 8!.

Don't let this be a negative...as a wife we had a ball of fun...we all went trick or treating together. We spent hours playing card games and re-decorating each others home (Bullet would always scream HEY LUCY...as in Ethel and Lucy when he came home...the joke was him walking around to see what needed to be fixed). Him and my friends spouses never forgave us for the projects we started...it was always a place to start cracking jokes at...and to this day it is still a topic of conversation...do ypu remember whem PIMA and ETHEL decided to re-do the Tanks kitchen cabinets? How about the time they volunteered us to cut 100 stars each us for the craft fair...what about when I came home and they painted my walls, but left the corner unpainted because they couldn't reach it or they staple gunned the wall paper on...guess what those are all true stories...

I truly can't explain the happiness I enjoyed as a spouse...Bullet loving it was one thing, my friendships that I made were totally different...but as Cher said If I could turn back time

 

[wannabe2013]

I know the reasons for officers and enlisted not to be friends, but is there a rule for officers' spouses and enlisted spouses?

 

[J Collins]

I know the reasons for officers and enlisted not to be friends, but is there a rule for officers' spouses and enlisted spouses?

not they are not allowed to be friends... different...

I was an Marine Corps officer's wife.. and I worked with and was friends with enlisted wives, but never my hubby.

As an enlisted Air Force wife, I never saw the same rules applied to socializing. They even called each other by their first names.. NEVER EVER heard that in the Marine Corps, even among the enlisted ranks.

BUT the USMC and the USAF are very very different.. The comraderie I experienced and witnessed in the USMC was unmatched by the USAF, especially during deployments. The Corps was just better at it (these are my opinions).

Predeployment meeting for USMC wives: all but a three of enlisted wives showed up.
Predeployment meeting for USAF wives: only three showed up.

I am not sure about the Army, Navy or Coast Guard.

 

[J Collins]

Hey TPG

Interesting experiences...

lets see there is where my EX-hubby were stationed (and I was along for the ride)

1985-mid 1986 C Btry, 11th Marines Cam Pen

Summer of 1986 - Supo School, Camp Lejeune (MOS changed when he was augmented)

9/1986-10/1988 Supo, 1st CEB, Camp Pen

1988-1992 SMU, 3rd FSSG (other times he was on island or embarkation down in Naha, or in Korea or the PI)(from 08/09 to 03/91 he was deployed to Desert Storm I stayed in Oki). during this time period I worked at NFCU Kinser, and we lived aboard Camp Lester. We had extended a year on the rock. He went to Camp Lejeune after Okinawa. I lived alone on Oki for 2 1/2 years out of the 4 years because he was off island.

 

[LineInTheSand]

UCMJ doesn't govern spouses.

 

[Pima]

In the AF officer wives typically don't socialize with enlisted wives. It is not that it is frowned upon, which it isn't, but the Officers spouses and the enlisted spouses run in different circles. There is the OCSC (Officer Civilian Spouse Club) and the ECSC(Enlisted Civilian Spouses Club). Each squadron also typically has a monthly coffee for the spouses. The Officers have theirs and the enlisted has theirs. Even fundraising is done seperately in all aspects (different craft bazaars and different bring in lunch fundraisers. There are org. that have more unity because there are few officers and mostly enlisted, i.e.maintenance, sps, comm, etc.

As for the pre-deployment briefings I believe you don't see alot of AF spouses at them b/c 120 +/- TDYs have become so common, that the spouses have more of an attitude, we'll be fine, just give me a call when the jet has landed and when you are on your way home. Out of 20 yrs, I can't recall making it through 1 tour without at least 1 120 day TDY and then sprinkle in a couple of 3 week tdys a yr among the mix.(totalling for about 10 months of tdys) All of the info typically discussed at a pre-deployment briefing is done for months prior at coffees and typically the OCSC will have the commander or DOG show up to brief at their monthly meeting. So as you can see it becomes ad nauseum after awhile. I went to the first couple, but after being married for @7 yrs, I stopped going. I only went when Bullet was in a leadership position, b/c although it was not req. it was expected. The AF also has made an art out of telephone recalls and newsletters, so you would need to be buried under a giant rock not to get the info as a spouse. We even as FCC spouses would make a phone recall to every spouse the day the guys left reminding them of important info. By the time Bullet went to the Pentagon, I was a very happy camper to remove this from my social circle.

You will hang with enlisted spouses, but that usually occurs on the soccer and bball fields. Also all though we can socialize another reason we don't is because as a married couple you tend to socialize as couples, when the spouse can't fraternize with one spouse it defeats the purpose of creating a social circle that includes them. Our Squadron commanders lived on base, her neighbors were enlisted, her husband put it frankly to her, you can socialize with her, just remember I can't with him. The girls met for coffee, talked about girl stuff, but in the end the friendship waned because they both realized there were things that were off the table from conversation, it became easier for both of them to go into different friendships. Finally, for many flyers the joke is officers make a million plus flight pay, it is always the elephant in the room. I am not saying there is jealousy or envy, but what you do find is that there are spouses that feel uncomfortable knowing the pay difference is an issue.

 

[justawife]

First of all of the spouse front, marry a brat. Everyone I know who married a brat, they are still married. They know what they are getting into.

HHG- Leaving Eielson AFB, since it is an overseas move they crate you. We were pcsing to Navy War College in RI, driving 2 cars thousand of miles. Half way through our trip the AF called my in-laws trying to contact us. (before people all had cell phones). Seems that TMO need to contact us regarding our HHG. While in Fairbanks, the crates were hit by a train. The blood drained from my face, they could not tell us what was damaged and how bad or what was damaged.

When the crates arrived in RI, 2 had been broken and rats got in them. My thoughts were a train hitting everything at 60 mph. Seems the the truck that drove our crates to the train yard parked to close to the active line and hit the crates on the truck. (this is from the written report we received) We had more damage from the rats than the hit.

My mom had told me told kiss your stuff goodbye, if it arrives it a surprise! We had a crate fall off a truck on to an interstate in the 60s.

 

[Pima]

AS far as marrying a military brat...our DD has staed she wants to marry a military member because she couldn't imagine not moving every few yrs. I can't tell you how many of our friends were either AD military brats or their spouses were brats...they seem to gravitate to them.

Justawife your HHG story reminded me of our friend who wrecked his car overseas...the deer didn't move...anyway, he orders a new car from stateside (we were in the UK). He gets a phone call that while they were loading his car on the boat it fell into the ocean The funnny part is they told him, that they didn't have the model he ordered in stock, but a few thousand dollars more they would ship the upgrade...he agreed until everybody gave him crap...basically told him they total your car and now you have to buy the more expensive model...he eventually did get the upgraded model for the same cost.

Also for us when we moved to the UK, Bullet calls the warehouse and asks did my car arrive okay (it was only 3 mos old when we shipped it)...yes, sir it's fine...he went onto explain that his pregnant wife would be making the 4 hr haul (8 hrs in total) and he didn't want to send me if there were any issues...I get there and the car had a major dent in the trunk (couldn't open it)...it seems they dragged a crate over the front of the car and it dropped onto the trunk. Mine was not as bad as our friend, they literally put a forklift through the side of the car...and then tried to tell us both we shipped it that way(we showed them are paperwork that no it wasn't). Also when we shipped our car to AK...they lost it for 8 days...we finally went to the inprocessing center and found it on the lot...it was there the entire time Lesson learned be very very careful shipping cars overseas.

 

[J Collins]

AS far as marrying a military brat...our DD has staed she wants to marry a military member because she couldn't imagine not moving every few yrs. I can't tell you how many of our friends were either AD military brats or their spouses were brats...they seem to gravitate to them.

Yup Army brat here...... and yup was doomed (in a good way) for the miltary life... and it looks like at least our daughter will be so.. Damn we are proud! and so is her grandfather! (my sisters both married soldiers)