I...So while I am very happy that she has such an admirable goal and is working very hard toward that goal, I am also very nervous that this path will ultimately lead her to be put in harm's way.
...But do other parents have mixed feelings about this and what is your advice to me?
I was a high school sophomore when I decided that I wanted to go to West Point. My father had gone through ROTC and served briefly as an Army officer before I was born. Though I never knew him as anything but a civilian businessman, he had always spoken with pride of his Army days and I expected him to be very excited and proud of my choice. I was shocked when my announcement was met with a look of concern and dismay. He proceeded to ask me some very difficult questions about why I thought I wanted to be in the Army. At the time, I was quite disappointed and confused that he was not more positive; it seemed like he was trying to talk me out of it.
It was not until decades later, when I had children of my own, that I fully understood my father's initial response. Like any parent, he wanted for me to be happy, but also, he wanted to help guide me in making important decisions carefully and thoughtfully. His challenges were aimed at ensuring that I had given such a major life decision due consideration. Additionally, he, like any good parent, wanted to protect me from harm (including that which was the product of my own making/decisions). I am sure that he was fearful that I had developed a naive or romanticized vision of Army life based on some combination of his fond stories and old Hollywood portrayals of battlefield glory.
My father gave me books and articles about West Point and discussed each of them with me in detail. After he was completely satisfied that I was fully aware of what I was getting myself into and that I had carefully considered all of my options, he fully backed my decision. I could not have had a greater supporter during the nomination/selection process and through that difficult first year at West Point. Sadly, he died of cancer during my second year and never saw me graduate.
After graduation, I spent a decade in the Aviation branch and I loved being in the Army and being a pilot. I would be exceedingly proud if one of my children were to choose to follow my path and wanted to serve their nation. If not, I would also love for one of them to develop a passion for flying and wish to become a pilot. However, as those decisions could subject them to danger, I would, like my own Dad, want to know that it was 100% their choice and that they were not doing it in order to please me in any way. If, God forbid, any harm should ever befall one of my children, I would want to know that it was not caused--or even contributed to in the slightest--by some misguided desire to make me proud or because I had failed to fully explain the realities of combat or the risks associated with aviation.
All of that was to say that you are absolutely right to have mixed feelings. To be otherwise is to see the world through rose-colored glasses. All you can do is teach your child values and
help her to make a fully-informed decision. After that, once she has made her choice, she needs your unconditional love and support (as it sounds like she already has).
Good luck and God bless.
Brad